Learn How to Date Your Husband All Over Again
When you first meet a new guy, you’re excited for every date. Each time you get together, it’s special for both of you. For you, you’re taking the temperature of the relationship. For him, he’s enjoying the mystery he considers to be you.
However, after you’ve settled in, maybe even moved in together or gotten married, you stop dating each other.
This is a mistake.
Falling into a routine where you exist among one another without really spending quality time together becomes detrimental to your long-term relationship success. Instead, settle into a routine of a weekly date night!
Why is date night so important?
It Helps You stay out of a Rut
It’s so easy to fall into a rut. You put your lives on autopilot and just go. You wake up every morning, get ready for and go to work, come home, fix dinner, watch some television – maybe even together, and go to bed.
This is boring – Spice it up!
Men don’t survive well in boredom, and many women don’t either for that matter.
As humans, we crave excitement and adventure, and yet this can feel risky and frightening. It’s when you push past the fear and experience that excitement and adventure that you begin to feel alive!
When you do this together, it’s such a bonus for your relationship! You get away from the daily distractions of work, kids and other responsibilities and spend a couple of hours focused on one another and your relationship.
Dating Your Husband Again Helps Build Intimacy Between You
Intimacy isn’t something you build between the sheets. It’s built-in the special moments you share together. It’s in that excitement and adventure you share together.
Early on, romantic moments and opportunities to build intimacy come frequently, but somewhere along the way, you begin to try less. It’s not intentional. Other aspects of life just creep in and take over.
When you go on dates, you take the time to remember what it is you love about one another, what drew you to each other. This helps keep that flame burning.
You Build a Stronger Foundation
Connecting on a weekly basis helps you build your relationship. Not every date night will happen during the best moments of your relationship, but if you have a regularly scheduled date night and you stick with it, no matter what, you have the opportunity to sit down in a quiet space and work it through.
Date nights shouldn’t be about arguing or disagreeing with one another. They should be about working through solutions without the distractions that often get in the way.
Working through your problems in a calm, patient way helps you improve your communication skills. This builds a strong foundation to fall back on when things get tough.
If you take the time to work through the small things as they come up, to communicate with one another in a healthy way, more difficult challenges will be easier to overcome.
Dating Your Husband | You Experience Fun and Playful Moments Together
A great way to interject good moments into your relationship is to have fun together. Go putt putt golfing or zip-lining. Go hang out at a comedy club with some friends or just get silly together. Make a game of grocery shopping or bake together and make a competition out of it.
This type of investment in your relationship is HUGE and definitely makes a positive impact on your long-term relationship success!
While the correlation between fun and relationship success is big, it’s an even bigger deal for men, according to studies conducted over time.
Overcoming Date Night Hurdles and Excuses
There are many excuses couples use for not practicing a regular date night routine. Most of these are just excuses, and using them is like laying down the bricks to divorce court. IF you want your relationship to be successful, take my advice and overcome these hurdles!
Excuse #1: It’s too expensive to go on a date night every week
Date night does not mean going to a five-star restaurant. It might be something as easy as taking a walk around the neighborhood together or heading over to the beach if you have one close by.
Date night can also be staying home and watching Netflix or something on a DVD or your cable DVR. You can stay home and do something you both enjoy together like cooking or even entertaining friends.
You can have a game night or find a book to read together in whatever genre you both enjoy.
Excuse #2: We’re both just too tired to go out on a date
In this instance, choose something low-key. Light a fire, snuggle up on the couch together and talk. Set the cell phones aside, turn off the television and give one another your undivided attention.
This is another instance where reading a book together can be great. Take turns reading aloud to one another.
Think of date night as a form of self-care. It’s a great way to experience some much-needed downtime while also making time to connect with one another.
Even though you’re both tired, a workout can be a great way to recharge. It releases endorphins and makes you feel energized again.
Excuse #3: I always have to plan everything and I’m sick of it
Yes, this can always land on one person, but then I suggest that you make a game out of it. Challenge him to come up with a better date night plan. You plan one and then challenge him to do better.
Men love a challenge! Of course, it’s up to you to participate in whatever he plans. Even if it scares the heck out of you. You’ve issued the challenge so it’s up to you to play.
If you make a game out of planning date nights, he’ll be more likely to participate. He might not want to participate because you haven’t found something that piques his interest yet.
Sit down together and come up with some ideas together. He’ll be more likely to participate in the planning if he gets energized and excited about the process.
Excuse #4: He never wants to do anything
Chances are, that’s half of the sentence. He might not want to do anything you’ve suggested so far. Again, plan a date night you think he will enjoy, even if you won’t, and then challenge him to come up with something more fun.
Another thing you can do to keep dating your husband is involve his friends. Plan a couple’s date night with one or more other couples. This might be a great way to get him involved in the beginning, and then when he discovers that he enjoys spending this time, you can transition into some date nights for just the two of you.
“Rules” of Date Night
When you and your guy are having a date night, it’s important to try your best to follow a few simple ‘rules’:
- Turn off cell phones, or if that is impossible due to being on-call or having children, at least keep the use to those situations
- Practice good listening skills
- Try to avoid arguing with one another – work on more positive problem-solving skills
- Plan the next date night while you’re together
Dating Your Husband Wrap Up
Falling into a routine where you exist among one another without spending quality time together becomes detrimental to your long-term relationship success. Stop the downward slide and start making you and your spouse the most important part of your world again. Settle into a routine of a weekly date night!
Once you find true love, the key is keeping it! In my best-seller, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life, you'll learn many things you and your guy can do to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. The pennies you put in the jar are shared memories. You add pennies when you do things together like exploring a quaint little town nearby or relaxing in a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. They're added when you make a game out of grocery shopping or have a cooking contest for dinner.
Learn how to put pennies in the jar, how to communicate effectively and how to fight fair, all inside this great book!
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