Finding the Man of Your Dreams

Written ByGregg Michaelsen

Gregg grew up just as many others – in a dysfunctional, but loving family. After going through years of failed relationships, he set out to decode dating for women by interviewing happy couples, unhappy couples, singles looking for ‘the one’ and everyone in between. He combined all of this information into his series of dating advice books for men and women.

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Date Great Men

Like some of my coaching clients, have you given up on finding the man of your dreams? I hope not, but in case you have, keep reading because I have some good news!

There is a way to find Mr. Wonderful. You’ve just been doing it wrong.

While it might seem as if swiping left or right on a dating app will land you a great guy, there are better ways. The longer dating apps run, the more likely it is you’ll find a loser or someone who’s catfishing. Instead, try some of these ideas!

Know What You Want

Take a few sheets of paper and write the name of each man you’ve dated at the top of each piece. Each guy gets his own sheet of paper.

Next, write his positive qualities on one side and his negative qualities on the other. After you’ve done this for all the men of your past, start looking for patterns. If a positive quality repeats a few times, write it on a new piece of paper, starting a list of positive traits.

Do the same with the negative traits. Those that repeat need to go on a negative trait list.

Next, look at the positive traits. These are the most appealing to you because they show up most in the men you date. Find two or three that are requirements and make the rest possible, but not necessary.

Do the same with the negative traits. You’re gravitating to a certain type of guy who carries some negative traits too but it’s time to stop. Take the top three or so and make them non-negotiable. These traits can’t exist in your new guy. The rest of the negative traits are negotiable but not dealbreakers.

You’re now one step closer to finding the man of your dreams. You now know what your Mr. Wonderful looks like, kind of, and you can seek out men with these traits who lack the negative dealbreakers.

Finding the Man of Your Dreams: Deal with Any Baggage

We all have baggage. Some of it can be put on a cart and rolled out of your life. Baggage includes guilt, regret, fear, criticism, trust issues, being defensive, and trauma from past events. These things hold you back from having an honest, open, and healthy relationship.

When you bring that into a new relationship, it’s almost a guarantee that your effort at finding the man of your dreams will fail. Instead, change your outlook on life from one of gloom and doom to more of a glass half-full outlook.

You can also practice self-care. I have a great book on self-care that might help you get started.

Having an effective self-care routine is crucial to your daily peace and happiness, but many people falsely believe that self-care is simply taking a hot bath with a glass of wine and some candles.

There are so many other ways to enjoy a self-care routine and this book walks you through them, providing you with many choices on how you can implement a self-care routine into your schedule.

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Another way to move past baggage is to get back out there and hang out with your friends, or make new ones. Just make sure that either way, they’re positive people, not negative.

The final way to deal with emotional baggage is to seek professional help. Sometimes the baggage is bigger than being happy and doing some self-care.

Convey the Image of a Confident Woman

Even if you don’t feel confident, start acting like a confident woman. Dress as if you care about your appearance. Fix your hair or get a fresh cut. Wear a little make up and take pride in your appearance. This sends a clear message to people who see you that you have self-esteem and self-worth.

When you put this kind of work into finding the man of your dreams, you’re sure to have success! Men can sniff out confident women without much effort. They look and act differently than low confidence women. So that means it’s time to get to work on that confidence and there are some great tools and resources for you here.

Finding the Man of Your Dreams by Re-Engaging with Life

Sometimes when confidence is down, you disengage with life, but it’s time to get back out there now. Make a list of fifty things you’d like to do. These can be daily activities like running or working out, team activities like volleyball or soccer, or even trips you’d like to take or occasional activities like scuba diving or hiking.

After you’ve made your list, set to work on accomplishing some of them. Join a team and play rec league soccer. Join a local group that shares an interest in the same things you’ve written down. You can often find them on Meetup.com.

When you get involved in groups and activities like this, finding the man of your dreams gets a whole lot easier. He’s doing those activities too so you’ll instantly have something in common! This makes for a great start to a relationship.

Begin to Believe

If you’re walking around with a negative attitude about finding a great guy, you never will. Instead, start to believe that you can find him. We tend to gravitate toward what we believe, so if your belief is that you won’t find a great guy, that’s what will happen.

Stay Positive

Living a life full of positivity instead of negativity sets you on a better course for success. Positivity stretches into all aspects of your life, not just dating. If your friends are negative, it’s time for new friends, which you can find in those activities you’re engaging in.

One thing you can do to focus on the positives is to start a gratitude journal. Find things every day to be grateful for and commit to finding new things every day. You can’t be grateful for your best friend every day. Be grateful for finding everything on your grocery list or for a warm sunny day.

Finding the Man of Your Dreams is a Mindset

Finding the man of your dreams is a lot, but not totally about your mindset, as you’ve read, but it’s also about getting out there in the right places.

Bars are great, but that’s not where many of the great guys hang out. You’re more likely to find them when you’re volunteering somewhere or engaging in an activity you enjoy.

The great men aren’t hiding, you just didn’t know where to look!

Do you have your Night Moves down? Are you ready to go out and get a guy to fall for you, using science and not trickery? If so, this is the book for you! I’ve done the research, and you get to benefit. Here are the steps you can take, whether you’re headed out on a first date or going out with your friends to look for men. The science behind attraction is just a few clicks away!

Here are just a couple of things you’ll learn inside this best-seller:

Red lipstick is magical when it comes to attraction…learn why inside
Looking at a guy, looking away, and then looking back with the right timing sends a clear signal…but what signal? Learn inside the book
You can get a guy to feel like he’s falling for you with a few subtle movements. Learn what they are in this book!

Read more about this book or click one of the buttons below to buy it now.

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Life Plan Tip: Assess Your Current Situation

Now that you understand your vision and goals, it’s time to assess your current situation. First, take a deep dive into where you stand right now. Then, evaluate both your personal and professional life. What’s working well? What areas need improvement?

Reflect on your past achievements. Celebrating the goals you’ve met can provide a sense of accomplishment and motivate you to keep pushing forward. Identify what you did right and the strategies that led to your success. Conversely, acknowledge what held you back from achieving other goals and what you might need to change.

Next, assess the resources and tools you currently have at your disposal. Do you have a strong support system, either personally or professionally? If not, consider establishing one. Having people you can rely on for advice, help, and encouragement is invaluable.

This is where having a personal growth coach can help.

Communication also plays a critical role in assessing your situation. Ask open-ended questions to gather more information about areas you need to improve. Improving your communication skills—like paying attention to your tone of voice, making eye contact, and actively listening—can significantly affect how you interact with others and achieve your goals.

Don’t forget the practical side of things. Using a work management tool as your central source of truth can help you monitor your progress consistently. With everything in one place, you’ll be better equipped to track your achievements and identify areas where you might be falling behind.

By thoroughly assessing your current situation, you’ll have a clear understanding of where you stand. This foundational step will ensure that your life plan is both realistic and achievable.

Identifying Key Areas of Your Life

Identifying key areas of your life is an important step in creating a well-rounded life plan. To do this, look at different areas of your life and determine which are most important to you. Common areas include:

Career: Consider where you are now and where you want to be. What milestones do you want to achieve?
Health: Focus on both physical and mental well-being. What health goals will help you live a longer, happier life?
Relationships: Reflect on the quality of your relationships with family, friends, and significant others. How can you strengthen them?
Personal Development: Think about the skills and knowledge you want to acquire. What are your passions and interests?
Finance: Evaluate your current financial situation and set goals for managing your money better.
Recreation: Identify hobbies and activities that bring you joy. How can you incorporate more leisure time into your life?

By breaking down your life into these key categories, you can create specific and actionable goals for each. Remember, the purpose of this exercise is not to overwhelm you but to give you a holistic view of your aspirations.

You won’t work on every area at once, but will focus on the most important areas first. Those are usually the areas that will have a positive impact on other areas. For example, getting your financial house in order will have a positive impact on your ability to enjoy hobbies, travel, buy your dream home or car, and more.

Setting SMARTER Goals

Many people have learned the fundamentals of SMART goals, which you read about above, but I encourage you to set SMARTER goals. This means adding two key elements: Evaluated and Revised.

Evaluated: Regularly assess your progress toward each goal. This doesn’t just give you a clear picture of how far you’ve come, but also lets you quickly spot any setbacks. Ask yourself questions like, “What milestones have I reached?”, “What challenges have I faced?”, and “Am I on track to achieve my goal within the set timeframe?”

Revised: Your goals should never be set in stone. Life is dynamic, and your goals should be flexible enough to adapt to new circumstances. Maybe you’ve discovered a more efficient way to reach your goal, or perhaps external factors have changed your timeline. Be open to making adjustments as needed to stay on course.

Consider this example: Suppose your goal is to run a marathon. Here’s how you can make it SMARTER:

Specific: Complete a marathon race.
Measurable: Track your progress using a running app.
Achievable: Train progressively, starting with short runs and increasing the distance over time.
Relevant: Align this goal with your broader aim of improving overall fitness and health.
Timely: Set a target date for the marathon, such as six months from now.
Evaluated: Check your progress weekly to see how your training is going.
Revised: Adjust your training plan if you encounter injuries or need more time to prepare.

Adopting the SMARTER framework in your goal-setting strategy ensures that your life plan remains relevant, realistic, and achievable. It also provides a structured yet flexible approach to personal development, giving you the best chance of success in all your endeavors.

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Life Plan Tip: Create Actionable Steps

Breaking down your goals into manageable, actionable steps makes a world of difference. Take each of your SMARTER goals and map the steps needed to accomplish them. Imagine you’re drawing a roadmap; each action is a milestone leading you closer to your destination.

For example, if your goal is to run a marathon by the end of the year, your actionable steps might include:

Researching marathon training programs
Creating a weekly running schedule
Registering for a local marathon
Joining a running group for support and motivation

Each step should be clear and concise, making it easier to follow through. Writing these down not only clarifies the path forward but also serves as a motivational tool. There’s something satisfying about crossing items off your list!

Additionally, consider leveraging a work management tool to keep track of your progress. Apps or a calendar can keep you organized and provides a sense of accountability as you see your progress over time.

Remember, the reason for actionable steps is to reduce overwhelm. By breaking down your goals into smaller tasks, you transform intimidating objectives into achievable, motivating milestones.

Organizing tasks by their importance and urgency can be an effective method of categorizing your to-do list. Many people set a top three list for each day to help them stay on task.

Once you’ve categorized your activities, incorporate them into your daily routine. A calendar or app might help you track progress and adjust priorities as needed. Some tools come with features that allow you to set deadlines, assign tasks, and monitor completion rates, all of which are essential to maintaining focus and momentum.

Try a few to see which one works for you. New apps are coming out all of the time. Or if you’re the creative type, try a bullet journal.

Remember to balance your workload. While it’s tempting to tackle high-priority tasks first, mixing in some less urgent tasks prevents burnout. For example, after a challenging project, switch to a lighter task to give yourself a mental break. This way, you sustain productivity and stay engaged and motivated.

Establishing a Timeline

Creating a timeline is essential for turning your goals into reality. To do this, you’ll set a deadline for each of your goals, which helps maintain momentum and accountability. A well-defined timeline offers a clear picture of what needs to be accomplished and by when, making it easier to stay on track.

Here’s how you can establish a timeline for your life plan:

Break Down Goals: Divide your larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. This makes it less overwhelming and offers frequent opportunities for progress checks.
Set Deadlines: Assign a specific deadline to each task. Ensure these deadlines are realistic to avoid unnecessary stress. For instance, if you want to improve your communication skills, you might set a three-month deadline to complete a workshop.
Utilize Tools: Use calendars, planners, or digital tools to visualize your timeline. This might include setting reminders or milestones to regularly assess your progress.
Review and Adjust: Periodically review your timeline to ensure it’s still relevant. Life is unpredictable, so be flexible and willing to adjust your deadlines if necessary.

Establishing a timeline gives you a structured plan to follow, enabling you to move forward with confidence and clarity. Stay proactive and keep your end goal in sight, and you’ll be well on your way to success!

Life Plan Tip: Building a Support System

Having a robust support system is crucial when creating a life plan you can follow. This network of people can provide you with encouragement, advice, and accountability, which are essential for staying on track and achieving your goals. Whether you’re working solo or as part of a team, the right support system can make all the difference in your success.

Who should be in your support system? Start with those who are closest to you. Family members, friends, mentors, and colleagues can offer invaluable perspectives and motivation. Additionally, consider joining groups or communities related to your goals—whether they’re professional organizations, local clubs, or online forums. These groups can introduce you to like-minded individuals who share similar dreams and challenges.

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One practical strategy is to improve your communication skills to foster stronger support relationships. Pay attention to your tone of voice, make eye contact when speaking, and actively listen to others. Techniques such as paraphrasing and displaying empathy can significantly enhance the quality of your interactions, making your support system more effective.

Finally, don’t forget the importance of regular check-ins. Monitor your progress and share updates with your support system. This keeps everyone informed and engaged, and offers a consistent measure of accountability. It’s also a great way to celebrate small wins, receive constructive feedback, and adjust your plan as needed.

Remember, building a support system is not a one-time task. It requires ongoing effort and nurturing. But the rewards—a network of people who are invested in your success—are absolutely worth it.

How do Successful People Maintain Their Life Plan?

It can be frustrating to try and try to get close to your life plan, all the while watching other people achieve and maintain theirs. What are their secrets?

The good news is they follow the steps outlined above. They set actionable, achievable goals, which they break down into smaller manageable tasks. Then, they track their progress and make the necessary adjustments.

The next strategy is one in which some folks stumble – self-discipline. Successful people prioritize their tasks and stick with their schedules, regardless of distractions or setbacks. By exercising self-discipline, successful people stay focused on their goals and consistently work toward their goals.

By regularly reviewing and adjusting their plan, they can assess their progress and determine what is and isn’t working. A great goal-setting strategy involves these regular assessments and adjustments to stay on track.

One strategy that is key in achieving a life plan is accountability. Successful people share their goals with people they trust, like friends, mentors, or coaches who provide support, encouragement and constructive feedback. By having accountability in place, they stay motivated and motivated.

One step that often is cast aside is self-care and establishing a balance in your life. While marching toward your goals without stopping seems like the best course, a successful person knows the importance of self-care. Maintaining good physical and mental health enables you to manage stress effectively, stay sharp, and follow through on the life plan they have in place.

And the last thing successful people do is cultivate a growth mindset. Rather than viewing challenges and obstacles as setbacks, they see them as opportunities to learn and grow. By adopting this positive attitude, they’re more resilient and persistent in the face of those obstacles and able to continue striding toward their life plan.

Common Obstacles to Sticking to Your Life Plan

One common obstacle to your life plan is not setting clear and achievable goals. They’re too vague, overly ambitious, and have no way to measure progress.

If the goal is too ambitious or if it isn’t something you really want, you aren’t motivated, which is a huge obstacle. By setting SMARTER goals, you can overcome this.

Another obstacle is not having a structured routine. For me, not planning my week makes me feel unfocused. I fall behind on my goals and everything just feels loose and unsettled.

Create balance between work and relaxation and schedule time for self-care.

If you’re facing a task you don’t like or that feels too difficult, you’ll procrastinate. It’ll derail your life plan before you get started. Instead, develop strategies to battle procrastination, like breaking the task into smaller tasks and setting deadlines.

Sometimes, life gets in the way. Health issues, family emergencies and job loss make you feel dejected. Build flexibility into your plans and know you may need to alter your plans to accommodate for challenges.

If you battle stress and anxiety, you may struggle to stick to your life plan. By prioritizing self-care and seeking professional, you can manage these obstacles.

Sometimes, a financial restriction gets in your way. Furthering your education, starting a new business or joining a gym can be difficult if your finances are tight.

Evaluate your budget and trim or eliminate expenses to fit these things in. Explore funding options for your goals. In some cases, an employer will pay for you to advance your education if it benefits them too.

And finally, as mentioned previously, a lack of self-discipline can derail your life plan. Build your self-discipline by starting small. Take small, consistent actions and reward yourself for hitting those small milestones.

How to Track Your Life Plan Progress

One great way to track your progress is by using a journal or diary. Use this to reflect on your achievements or areas in which you need to adjust. This more personal and introspective approach helps you focus without judgment.

You can also use digital tools. There are too many to name, each with specific tools that will help you with your specific goals. Set up notifications and be sure to use date due features to remind you of where you should be focusing your attention.

Another tool some prefer to use is a spreadsheet. These enable you to create timelines, milestones and easily track metrics. You can update progress and have a visual representation of how well you’re doing.

A more creative tool is mind mapping, which will help you visualize your goal and map out the tasks. If you’re a creative person or someone who’s visual, this is a great way to work through things.

Regardless of which tool you use, regular assessments and reflection will help you stay on track. The key is setting aside time to make those assessments and evaluate where you are, what obstacles you are facing or may face in the future and how to hurdle over them successfully.

The more you do this, the easier it will be and the better you’ll become at doing it. If you find yourself behind, don’t be discouraged. Simply adjust your timeline to one that meets you where you are.

And Speaking of Adjusting…

You’ve read a few times now about adjusting, but what does it mean?

Regardless of what tools you choose, a regular assessment will help you stay on track. If you’re journaling, it’s helpful to go back through your journal after a month and look for key phrases or moods.

For example, if you find yourself writing about being frustrated whenever you’re performing a certain task, consider how you can make that task less frustrating. Do you need to learn something new? Do you need to slow down? Do you need help from someone?

Making the appropriate adjustments will eliminate frustration and help you get back on track.

Another adjustment you can make is breaking the task down into smaller tasks. Get a degree is a very vague and daunting goal but Take a 100-level math class is something you can focus on. It’s targeted and easy to assess. If that still feels daunting, break it down into smaller tasks like Sign up for a 100-level math class – Buy the required books – Attend class regularly, and so on.

Some life goals will make such a huge change in your life that they feel overwhelming. Break them down so they feel less so.

Also, be flexible. Things don’t always work out like you plan but when you’re flexible, you allow for adjustments in the timeline or tasks to be done.

And finally, be nice to yourself. Beating yourself up because you got a C on a test won’t help you do better on the next one. Review the questions you got wrong and learn how to get the right answers. Visit office hours and ask the professor for help. Seek tutoring for classes that are extra hard.

Wrapping Up Your Life Plan

As you reach the end of creating your life plan, it’s essential to take a moment to reflect on the journey so far. You’ve identified your vision, set SMARTER goals, and crafted actionable steps. You’ve learned to prioritize, establish timelines, and build a support system. Now, let’s address how to bring all these elements to a cohesive conclusion.

Celebrate Your Initial Wins: Don’t underestimate the power of small victories. Recognizing and celebrating these milestones keeps you motivated and reinforces positive behavior.

Review and Reflect: Regularly review your life plan to evaluate your progress. Ask yourself what strategies worked, what didn’t, and why. This reflective practice ensures you’re consistently learning and adapting.

Make Necessary Adjustments: Life is unpredictable, and rigidity can hinder your progress. Be flexible and willing to modify your life plan as circumstances change. Reevaluate your goals and timelines periodically to make sure they still align with your vision.

Stay Accountable: Share your goals with a trusted friend, mentor, or coach. Establishing accountability helps you stay committed and can provide you with valuable feedback and encouragement.

Track Your Progress: Utilize a work management tool to keep your goals and progress in one place. Consistent monitoring not only keeps you on track but also highlights areas needing attention or adjustment.

Maintain Balance: Achieving your goals is important, but so is maintaining a balanced life. Regularly check in on different areas of your life to ensure you’re not neglecting any aspect in pursuit of another.

Wrapping up your life plan doesn’t mean the work is over. It’s a dynamic, evolving process requiring continuous dedication. But with a solid foundation, clear goals, and the right mindset, you’re well on your way to creating the fulfilling life you envision.

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way!

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!