Dating is so confusing, especially at first when you find a guy you like but knowing how to tell a guy that you like him can be challenging.
You feel anxious and imagine all the worst-case scenarios, and suddenly, you just want to keep it to yourself.
But then you don’t get the guy…so how can you tell a guy that you like him?
How to Tell a Guy That You LIke Him – When Is the Right Time?
The answer isn’t on the first date.
What you can say on a first date is something like:
- I enjoyed our time together
- I really enjoyed meeting you
- It would be great to get together again
But otherwise, you should hold off a little in telling him – but how long?
When You See Signs of Mutual Interest
We’ve all been on dates where we felt this great attraction to the other person, and then you go to the bathroom and when you return, that person has left. Obviously you misread the situation. Bummer!
So look for signs that he’s interested in you too. If you watch, you’ll catch him smiling as he observes you, like when you enter a room or approach.
A guy who seeks you out is also showing interest.
For example, when you’ve met a couple of times incidentally and then find yourselves at an event, he might notice you and come to talk to you. This is a sign he’s interested.
Some guys are shyer, so in those instances, watch for him to glance your way, deliver a casual smile, or even brush past you with a light touch.
When Things Feel Comfortable
Are you comfortable with the idea of a relationship or does it make you want to run and scream? If you don’t want a relationship, it might not be a good idea to get his hopes up.
But, if you feel like you’re ready and you can sense a good connection between you, it’s a good time to tell him how you feel.
When You’ve Allowed Friendship to Bloom
If the two of you started out as friends, you might not want to jump in too soon by confessing that your interest in him is more than friendly.
Yes, you might be friend-zoned right now, and it may never move past that. But, if you allow him to get to know you as a friend, you have a head start on a great relationship later.
Let him find out who you are. That’s what’s going to make him interested in a relationship with you.
When You Can Be Yourself Around Him
You should never pretend to be someone you aren’t when you’re dating. The truth will always come out and then things are ruined.
But at first, it might feel scary. Still, honesty is always the best policy. You might be hesitant at first to be your true self, and that’s okay. Let little pieces of you out each time you see one another.
At some point, you’ll realize that you’re being your true self around him and that he likes your quirks (because we all have quirks). That’s when you know it’s safe to tell him how you feel.
He’s Become Part of Your Everyday Life
You see one another daily, or close to daily, because you live in the same neighborhood, or work near one another.
Maybe your interactions are becoming more frequent. If so, there’s a good chance he already senses your feelings, and he may share them.
This puts you in a safe zone for relating your feelings, especially if you sense he feels the same way.
You See a Future That Works with Him
Note that I said a future that works. Some people take the attitude of he’s great right now, and if you want a hookup, great. But if you’re looking for your soul mate, you need to think long-term.
Of course, sharing that you like someone isn’t a marriage commitment, but it is the equivalent of asking for a relationship, come what may. Ultimately, you want to make sure that your values, lifestyles, and future goals are somewhat aligned.
You Spend One-on-One Time
A guy who isn’t sure about you will want to hang out with friends, but if he’s into you, he’ll want to do some one-on-one time with you, and that might encompass more of your time than the time with friends.
My friend, these are dates, whether you call them that or not.
You’re Dating Other Guys but He’s Rising to the Top
It’s perfectly fine to date more than one guy at a time as long as you aren’t in a committed relationship. Guys do it more often than women, but it really is helpful.
When you’re dating more than one guy, you can compare the different things about each guy. One will ultimately rise to the top as the guy you want to keep seeing.
Giving relationships this time to develop and evolve allows you each to determine how you truly feel and whether you think you’re a good fit. The guys who aren’t a good fit will fall away.
HOW to Tell a Guy That You Like Him
Timing is Everything
While excitement can have the words wanting to bubble out of you at what is perhaps an untimely moment, try to control yourself and wait for the right time and place.
Be sure to tell him somewhere that’s more private and quieter. You don’t want to be yelling your feelings across bar stools or tabletops in a noisy environment.
Additionally, you don’t want to tell him somewhere where he might get distracted by television or performances.
Choose somewhere that is comfortable and relaxing, where you can relax and be open and honest with one another.
And finally, don’t time it for a Friday after work when everyone is exhausted from a long week. Choose a time when he isn’t feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Weekends are often relaxing, so that might be better.
How to Tell a Guy That You Like Him: Be Honest and Direct
Men don’t always get subtle hints, so don’t play around with your words. Men are usually direct, and they understand that best.
You can say something like “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you, and I’ve developed feelings for you.” You can even admit to a crush, but this isn’t the time to throw around the “L” word (love) because you aren’t really there yet.
Ask Him Out
Who says the guy always has to be the one to ask for a date? If you’re into this guy, ask him out. It can be casual, like coffee or a drink. It can even be something fun like hiking, listening to a favorite band, or even going bowling.
These types of casual dates allow you to see one another in a more natural setting where you can be yourself. It’s a great way to find out what type of guy he is when he’s not trying to be on for a dinner date.
Use Your Powers of Flirtation
Flirting is fun and it’s a great way to show this guy that you’re into him. Simply making eye contact for a few seconds, looking away, and making eye contact again is a very effective way of showing your attraction.
You can also smile, which always says volumes, and if you’re not actually out with him, you can even gently brush past him, touching his arm or shoulder as you pass by. If you’re together, you can also place a hand on his gently for a moment. Touch is a powerful message.
Other things you can try are:
- Paying him a compliment, but be specific and don’t overdo it
- Find common interests or ask him about something he’s passionate about
- Use your body language to indicate that you’re into him by leaning in, mirroring his movements, and using open body language
- Keep things light and playful
How to Tell a Guy That You Like Him: Be Confident
Confidence is sexy, even if guys don’t always realize that’s what they’re attracted to. Better than that, confidence is a magnet for great guys while repelling players at the same time! Win win!
Don’t Wait for Him to Make a Move
Some guys will never do this because they’re a little shy. This is the 2020’s – it’s okay for you to make the first move, if you think the feelings are mutual.
A guy like this won’t risk rejection, so he’ll need to understand that you’re into him before he’ll make his move.
Once you’ve made your move, however, it’s time to let him take over. Let him plan the first couple of dates so he feels like he’s in charge. If it’s difficult for you to let go of controlling this, give yourself a pep talk. Confident women don’t need to be in control of everything – even alphas – no especially alphas!
Notes of Caution
There are a couple of things to be aware of during this process.
First, recognize that he may not share your feelings, and this will be a disappointment, but better to find out now than when you’re further into what you think is a relationship, but he considers to be just friends.
Don’t consider this a full rejection. Instead, recognize that it’s the truth about the situation. He may enjoy having you as a friend, and if you can keep things there, then you just gained a new friend!
Also, if you are too fearful and keep holding back, you risk losing him to someone else. There will be no relationship if you don’t share your feelings, come what may.
And finally, right now, you’re carrying so much anxiety about doing this that it’s consuming your thoughts. Once you get your feelings out on the table, you will feel a great deal better.
Wrapping Up How to Tell a Guy That You Like Him
This is a scary proposition. You have these feelings and you’re afraid that if you share them with this guy, he won’t feel the same.
And he might not, but better to know where you stand than to keep dreaming about something that won’t happen.
Gather your courage my friend. There’s a great guy who might just feel the same way you do waiting to hear how you feel. He’s as nervous as you are, trust me!
