What attracts a man to a woman? It’s a pretty basic question, right? And it’s a very important question as well!

The better question, however, is do you know the answer?

If you did know it, oh boy would your dating life suddenly get a lot easier! But, most women aren’t taught these things growing up, so I’m afraid you probably don’t know the answer.

Until now.

Let me help you crawl into the minds of me and my friends, a bunch of successful good guys who regularly hang out together. A few of my friends are shy and a few are extroverted. We’re all looking for the woman of our dreams. What will attract us to you?

You Stand Above the Crowd

I’m not talking about how tall you are, but rather how authentic you are. This is very nearly your most important job when you go out on the hunt for a guy.

How do you stand out? First, be yourself and wear your confidence like a badge of honor. Your body language is the first signal to every man in the room that you either have or lack confidence. Stand tall with your shoulders straight, not slumped. Make eye contact with people instead of hiding behind sunglasses or hair.

Next, be yourself. Just because all your friends are wearing skinny jeans with a blouse and four-inch heels doesn’t mean you must do the same. If you’re more comfortable in a skirt and flats, go for it. Heck, wear your tie dye skirt and Birkenstocks if you want. If that’s who you are, tell the world!

Other ways to stand out include:

• Wear a bright scarf or hat
• Dance in place alone for a second or two
• Put five umbrellas in your drink and one in your hair
• Order a cocktail served uniquely

These things all provide a guy with an opportunity to strike up a conversation. This is important for the shy guys!

Show You’re Having a Great Time

A woman who is laughing and having a great time is a guy magnet. Don’t fake it, but show that you’re enjoying yourself. People are attracted to others who look like they’re having fun!

When you show you’re having fun, it tells others that you have a positive, upbeat personality and this is attractive to men. If you’re sitting there, sulking or hiding behind your hair, guys aren’t interested. Any guy you attract will be the wrong guy – a player or a loser.

What Attracts a Man to a Woman? Body Language!

Your body language tells every man in the room everything he needs to know about you before he decides to approach. Good posture indicates confidence. Making eye contact with others in the room says you’re a confident woman. Smiling shows that positive personality.

These women don’t get approached by players and losers because they know you’re out of their league, but confident men are interested. If you see a guy who interests you, make eye contact and smile, then look away. Be sure to look back a few seconds later, but don’t be a creeper. Look away again.

When you manage to pass by this guy, brush up against him, by accident. Just a subtle touch will be enough to signal to him that he can approach.

Manage Your Group

While it’s nice to huddle together and whisper, it doesn’t give any men the opportunity to approach. They don’t know where they would be able to join you.

Instead, leave some space between you, and if your friends run off to the bathroom, don’t take that opportunity to get on your phone. Make sure there’s space beside you for a man to approach. He’s been waiting for this moment for a while and it’s here. Don’t shut him out!

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

This might be difficult for you if you’re introverted or a little low on dating confidence. Many of my books can help you with the confidence part. I encourage you not to try too hard to change the introvert part. It’s who you are.

Okay, that said, here’s how this works.

Now I understand this might be tough if you are introverted, shy, or lack confidence. The confidence I can fix. I’m a life coach and that’s what my books are all about if I may add.

If you walk by a guy eating sushi or something rare say, “You know, a skilled veterinarian could bring that back to life!” Yes, its’ silly but it’s funny and he’ll love it.

If you struggle with being funny, watch some comedians and their deliveries. Pick up some tips and be ready the next time you’re out.

These same canned lines, when delivered by men, crash and burn but when a woman delivers them, they’re unexpected and men love it!

What Attracts a Man to a Woman? She Approaches Him

Few women approach men, and that’s sad because it’s a great move on your part! Much like delivering a one-liner, it’s unexpected and that makes it great.

While a man is sometimes afraid of being rejected if he approaches, often for a good reason, the odds of a woman being rejected are pretty slim. Men don’t often reject women. They’re more ego-driven and there’s nothing better to boost a guys ego than a woman approaching him!

You don’t need a one-liner. Just say “Hi” or “Can I buy you a drink?” A fun line is, “I’m considering you as my next boyfriend.” Smile and laugh as you deliver your message, just like comedians do. He’ll love it. Even if he’s got a woman in his life, he’ll at least respond favorably.

Don’t Bar Hop

You’ve done some or all of the things above and then you and your friends up and leave. What the heck? Some man had just mustered up enough courage to approach and you vanished.

If you want to meet a great guy, stay at the same place until you’re ready to go home. If you want to check out another bar, go next weekend. Some men need time to prepare themselves to approach, especially shy guys.

I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times. A friend of mine was ready to approach a woman he’d become attracted to and BAM! She and her friends pay the check and leave.

What Attracts a Man to a Woman? A Great Story

Once you’ve attracted a great guy, it’s time to work on keeping him around. This begins with your story. What is your story?

It’s the culmination of your life experiences. It’s what makes you the unique individual you are today. This doesn’t mean you tell a guy your entire life story! You don’t, at least not immediately. Let him uncover it, bit by bit.

Your job is to cultivate that story. Think about your life and the experiences you’ve had so far. Did you travel to Europe as a kid or invent something cool in science class? Do you volunteer somewhere or do you have a unique hobby?

Any hobby is probably fodder for an interesting story. Men are often mystified by how you make things. Sometimes your hobby reminds him of his mom or another treasured female in his life. This is a bonus!

Your story also includes anything you’re passionate about. People’s faces light up when they talk about something they’re passionate about. It’s like a magnet for the person they’re talking to. They immediately become excited about the topic too.

If you fear your story isn’t so great right now, it’s time to get out there and start writing. Find a hobby. Become passionate about something. Go on an adventure. Travel, even if it’s just across the state line. Experience life and then prepare to share those experiences with men who are interested in you.

How the Male System Works

What attracts a man to a woman?

You’ve done your part, now it’s time for him to do his. But what do most guys do?

First, they look for the right opportunity to make a move. Often, the time is when their friend goes to the restroom. He doesn’t want to get shot down in front of his friends, so he waits until they’re away.

Alternatively, he might wait for you to be alone or at least for a spot to open up next to you. He doesn’t want to feel awkward, so if there’s an empty space, he’s more comfortable.

Remember, guys are just as clumsy as you think you are and more. They are just as intimidated by the whole singles scene as you are. Their confidence might be lacking, like yours.

The male system sucks, but it’s all they have so please, please, make it easy on them by understanding the system. Once you do, you’ll attract lots of great men!