relationship goals Archives

5 Questions to Determine if Your Boyfriend is Marriage Material

You’ve been dating this guy for a year or so now and you really like him. But are you ready for a life-long commitment with this particular guy? Is your boyfriend marriage material?

You’ve found a great guy. In fact, you think you’ve found the guy to spend the rest of your life with. It’s great but you still have a few lingering doubts. Something about him is causing you to question whether or not he’s really the one. Some call the guy you date while you’re waiting for Mr. Right your meantime guy.

It’s okay to feel this way. It means you’re not blindly entering a long-term commitment without making sure everything is okay. You may have put together a list, before the two of you started dating – your criteria for the perfect guy. You’ve measured every guy you’ve met against this list and none of them quite fit the bill.

Then it hit – you found this guy and while he didn’t quite fit all of your criteria, he is still great. He still managed to sweep you off your feet. The good news is that there are a few questions you can answer that will help you figure out whether he’s your soon-to-be fiancé or your meantime guy.

Before you consider each of these questions, I need you to set aside your emotions and pull out your logical-thinker hat. Are you ready?

Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #1: How Does He React When You Mention A Future Together?

A woman will often bring up the future before a man will so chances are, you’ve brought this topic up first. How did he react? Was he willing to discuss anything like having children or whether you’d have cats or dogs? Have you discussed buying a house or condo together or moving in together someplace new?

While he might be willing to discuss these topics with you, it’s his actions that really tell the true story of his intentions. If you start talking about buying a property together and he’s on his phone to his real estate buddy, he’s definitely thinking of your future together.

If, on the other hand, he says he’ll do something but he never does, he’s not ready.

Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #2: How Does He Treat Others?

You can tell a lot about someone by how he treats others. This goes for friends and family as well as strangers. You want a guy who says please and thank you, is polite and respectful to others and treats the wait staff at restaurants politely. If he has pets, or you do, how does he treat them?

This is a great way to gauge someone’s true personality without them knowing it. I was recently somewhere with my mom and a man neither of us knew got up to hold her chair while she was sitting down. That guy is a keeper for some lucky woman!

Conversely, a guy who flies off the handle at anyone who crosses him is not someone you want to commit to. The answer you don’t want to hear is similarly.

Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #3: What’s His Work Ethic?

Is your boyfriend marriage material

It might be difficult to answer this question but you’ll get hints if you’re paying attention. A guy who spends a lot of time texting or emailing you while he’s at work doesn’t have a good work ethic. If you see him bringing things from work home and not taking them back, his work ethic stinks.

What about his motivation where his career is concerned? Men of value want to have a great career so they can support their loved ones. They’re also competitive and like to show off their stuff to their buddies. Without a good job, you can’t buy a better boat than your best friend.

He should be driven to the next promotion or step in his career. At the same time, watch out for the workaholic. This guy should be avoided.

Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #4: Do You Balance Each Other Out When Things Get Stressful?

A relationship can survive when both partners are willing to support one another during difficult times. Men struggle with difficult times of their lives. We aren’t wired to manage emotions very well. Throughout our entire life, we’re told to man up or buck up or even suck it up and deal. This does nothing to help us manage things like death and disappointment.

You have to learn how to support one another. No, he can’t handle your highly emotional moments but he should at least want to fix things. He will want to bring medicine when you’re down with the flu or help you hobble to the car if you end up on crutches. If he knows you’re having a difficult time at work, he’ll at least order take-out if he doesn’t cook.

Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material Question #5: How Are His Listening Skills?

Guys are notorious for zoning out during long talks. It happens and is especially true the longer the relationship goes on.

Test your guy by talking to him for a few minutes about your day, then switch topics, and then go back and ask him “What was I just saying?” It’s kind of sneaky but it works! Give him the benefit of the doubt if he screws up once, but if you see it happen multiple times, he’s not paying much attention to what you’re saying.

Of course, this applies to guys who are actually looking at you and nodding their heads. If he’s watching football and you’re chatting away, he’s probably not hearing a word you’re saying. Ask yourself if that’s what you want for the rest of your life. Chances are that’s a no.

What Who You Date Says About You – Part 3

Date Great Men, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Attract the Right Guy!

We have spent the last couple of weeks in “What Who You Date Says About You” talking about a variety of different personality types that men and women have and how they impact a relationship. Today, I want to focus on talking about how you can begin to attract the right guy.

If you’ve read any of my books, you know that I am all about giving the power in a relationship to the woman. In Who Holds the Cards Now, this is the central theme! What happens, though, if you’re not really in the right place to take that power? How can you get there?

The answer isn’t as tough as you might think. First of all, you should identify the type of guy you typically date, using Part 1 and Part 2. You may have dated more than one of those types in the past, but look at the “If You Think This is You” section under those different types.

Want to Understand the Different Types of Men and How to Date Them?

I had some fun writing Manimals because I got to describe different types of men, whether they’re datable or not and how to date them when they are. Because that didn’t seem like enough, I then profiled several types of women and paired them up. Now, you can identify which type of woman you are and learn which type of man might be the best fit for you!

In addition to these different types of men and women, the second half of the book contains:

Explanations on why you are dating the wrong type of guy now
An in-depth study of what I like to call the Relationship Train To Failure
15 things every woman needs to know about men
My best-ever discussion on what challenge and mystery are, why they’re important and how to use both to your advantage!

That should help you begin to identify the areas you need to work on. Many times, it’s self-esteem, and that is definitely going to be part of building the new you, but you also need to dig deeper and understand yourself.

I want you to attract the right guy! I want you to have your pick of the litter – as long as you’re not picking wet kittens! Choose from the lion cubs instead! You’re asking – HOW?

Look at your life today. Are things in order? Where are you financially? Are you able to support yourself or are you taking help from Mom and Dad? You will need to get your financial house in order before you bring a guy into the fold.

What have you done so far in your life? Do you have great experiences to share? Even if you don’t have a lot of money, you can have great experiences – and I’m not talking about partying either! I mean real life experiences – the things that change you, even if it’s just a little bit.

This could be college, a trip to someplace new and kind of far away, learning a new skill or hobby, or even doing something a little off the wall like sky-diving.

Who do you look up to? Who do you go to for advice? Is there someone special in your life that you depend on for guidance and advice? If there is nobody, then it’s time you found someone.

A mentor is a highly valuable resource. This person is the person you can count on to tell you the truth, not like your friends, who tell you what they think you want to hear.

Looking back through your life can be a lot of fun, or it can be a real drag. If it’s a drag, then you definitely need to do some work. Even if it is a fun exercise, you can still learn something from it.

My best selling book, To Date a Man, You Must Understand Yourself will give you more in-depth information on looking at these areas of your life, and more. It will give you a guide to follow to gain a better understanding of yourself and to begin attracting high value men, instead of those we have talked about over the last two weeks.

Part 1 What Who You Date Says About You

Part 2 What Who You Date Says About You

Are you ready to attract the right guy?

The Importance of a Mentor! Why Your Girlfriends’ Advice Isn’t Cutting It

Build Confidence

You have been in several relationships, and yet, none of them has felt right – none of those guys were ‘the one’, in fact, all of those guys were ‘the same one’. You’ve tried asking your girlfriends for advice, but they aren’t providing anything truly helpful. This is where a mentor can help!

My best-selling book, “To Date a Man, You Must Understand Yourself”, provides you with the tools you need to uncover the reasons why your relationships so far have not been fulfilling for you. The book gives you a pathway into yourself, bringing you out of your old habits and helping you to develop yourself in a way that enables you to attract that ‘right guy’.

The Importance of a Having a Mentor

So many times, ladies come to me with your stories of dating or marrying a guy, then suffering through the heartbreak of a break-up. You are feeling down on yourself, discouraged and hopeless.

In one such example, one of my readers contacted me regarding a break-up where she was convinced that she was still ‘in love’ with the guy, but after several emails and coaching, she finally began to take my advice and activate the steps in “Who Holds the Cards Now” to grow her confidence and begin moving on.

Ultimately, she began to realize that she actually didn’t want or need the old relationship and also that she needed to take time to explore herself before getting into another serious relationship. She will enter her next relationship a much healthier woman.

Had this woman had a mentor, she may have been able to see where she needed to make changes much earlier in the relationship, saving herself great heartbreak and years of time lost on a doomed relationship.

A mentor can help you to understand yourself. A mentor is someone you know and trust, someone who provides you with a good example of how to live your life. How many times have you wished that you had someone you could talk to, bounce ideas off of or tap into for really good dating advice?

A mentor can be someone from your family, education, workplace, church or other area of your life. It is someone who you look up to, who knows you and understands your life and your challenges. A mentor is someone who has succeeded in the area you are questioning or currently failing at. You can have more than one mentor in your life. In fact, it is a good idea to have a few people in this role.

But how many of us ever find a mentor before we get into trouble? Sure we hire shrinks but that is when it is too late. I want you to be pro-active not reactive.

Having someone like this in your life helps you guide your decisions, both by being there to listen and provide feedback, and also by living their life in a way that provides you with a good example. A mentor sees your life more objectively than you do and holds you accountable for your decisions.

Book Preview

Follow me into the self-discovery process into learning all about YOU! Join me and learn about the power of mentors, financial independence and how “your story” can change your life and create happiness with yourself and your relationships. Meet Meghan and Jennifer and see how their stories merge with yours. It will be fun!