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How to Know If A Guy Is Playing You

How to Know If A Guy Is Playing You

You’re ready to go out and meet a great guy, but you’ve been burned before, so now you want to discover how to know if a guy is playing you before you become emotionally invested.

What should you look for? What are the signs that the guys you meet are either good guys or creeps?

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | He’s Full of Compliments

This can go one of two ways.

Either he’s always complimenting you, like always, or he’s always complimenting himself. While compliments are nice, they can be overdone.

It’s great for a guy to tell you how nice you look for your date, but ten more compliments in the next hour is going a bit overboard.

This is a tactic players use to distract you and make you feel good about yourself. If you’re feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, you’re less likely to notice his slimeball ways.

On the other hand, he might spend all his time complimenting himself. He puts all his effort into convincing you of what a great guy he is. This isn’t something he needs to tell you; his actions speak louder than his words.

Your Dates are Booty Calls

He texts you late at night and wants to come over, but all he’s looking for is sex.

Players want something from you. Usually, it’s money, sex, or status. Many times, it’s sex, but not always.

One way to tell what his true intentions are is to take note of when he contacts you. If he’s into you, he won’t wait until late at night. He would reach out during the day to check-in.

If it’s money, that will become obvious soon enough. He’ll forget his wallet or be a little strapped this week. That’s bull. Money is important to good men because they want to provide for their loved ones. Good guys don’t spend all their time borrowing from you.

If it’s status, he’ll show you off to his friends, all while making sure they know what it is you offer, “This is Stephanie. She’s a doctor at..” Or he’ll want to show off your car, your home, or whatever it is that you have that he wants.

how to know if a guy is playing you

You Know Nothing About Him

The opposite of him blowing himself up to you by way of overdone compliments is that he shares nothing about himself. He doesn’t want to get attached to you, so he doesn’t share things with you.

Oh, you might learn his favorite color or his favorite restaurant, but nothing deeper. He probably plans to end things with you sooner than later.

And, by the way, what he tells you is probably false. That’s his favorite restaurant to take you to because none of the other women he’s seen or already dismissed are there. Soon enough, he’ll need to find a new restaurant in a new town.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | Your Relationship Doesn’t Progress

At first, it’s fine to date other people. You have no commitment to this guy and it’s a great way to know for sure who you want to make that commitment with.

But, as time progresses, you’ll both naturally start weeding people out and getting closer to one another.

A player won’t allow a relationship to progress. It’ll stay in that initial dating other people stage of the relationship. He’s not interested in advancing any relationship. He’s very active on dating sites and in the local bars and hangouts.

Do You Get the Feeling You're Being Used?

Do you feel like the man in your life is using you or is up to something he shouldn't be? This is a great article to help you figure it out, but there are others. Click the link below to read those.

You Feel Like You’re Walking on Eggshells

A relationship with a player can feel tenuous. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells, and you can’t quite figure out why.

It’s your natural gut instinct that the relationship isn’t a secure one, and your gut is probably right.

You feel like you must watch what you say, and you feel like he’s controlling the relationship. A feeling of unease settles over the relationship, and you aren’t yourself.

This feeling comes from how he’s reacted to things in the past. Maybe you said something you thought was funny, but he looked at you blankly.

This isn’t your imagination. He’ll make you work hard to regain his attention and whatever snips of attention he feels like throwing your way.

This isn’t how relationships work. You should be able to say what you think, and the balance of power should be relatively equal.

It Feels Like You Initiate Everything

He’s giving you scant little time for dates and time together. This is because he’s dating other women and he doesn’t have much time to give any one of you.

You find yourself asking, “When will I see you again?” because the time between dates feels too long.

You get time with him when he grants it, no more and no less. He’s in complete control of the dating schedule. This might force you to do things to get his attention but save your energy for a guy who’s worthy of you.

how to know if a guy is playing you

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | He Rarely Follows Through on Promises

He said he’d call after he got home from a late night at work, but the call never comes. You passed on a girls’ night with your friends to wait for his call and you got nothing.

He says he’ll pick you up at seven, but seven comes and goes with no phone call, no text, and no date.

Stop waiting for this guy. If your friends want to go out, tell him you’ll have to reschedule. Let him be the one who gets set aside. Unfortunately, this won’t land with the loud thump you hope for. It’ll likely mean nothing to him since he didn’t plan to come anyway.

He’ll have excuses for his absence:

  • My best friend called and needed me to help him – it was an emergency
  • I got called back into work to help with something big
  • I’m so sorry, Babe, I completely forgot
  • My sister is in town, and I had to do dinner with the fam

The problem with all these excuses is that it takes about ten seconds to tap out a text and bow out. He isn’t telling you because he doesn’t value you enough to bother.

He’s Too Good to be True

What guy listens? I mean really. Show me one, and not your gay best friend. He doesn’t count. Show me a guy who will sit and listen to you cry about your last boyfriend and I’ll show you a player.

If that doesn’t do it, he has all the right lines. He’s smooth and delivers these lines with a finesse that takes your breath away.

This is because he’s practiced those lines so many times that he knows them by heart. He knows which lines work and he’s gotten rid of those that don’t.

He shows up as this charming, handsome, smooth talker who sweeps you off your feet. Your girlfriends are initially starstruck and wish he had approached them. They’ll see him for who he is before you do.

At first, he’ll treat you like a queen. He wants you to feel secure in his affection for you, but it’s all fake. It’s just part of his game.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | He Keeps You from His Friends & Family

He talks about his friends and family all the time. Whether he’s telling you the truth is immaterial because you’ll never meet them. In fact, he might say his mother passed away when she’s fine and living thirty miles down the road.

You won’t meet his friends either because they know who he is. Chances are they’re players too.

As for his family, he doesn’t want to hear, “She’s such a sweet girl; why can’t you settle down with someone like her?” That doesn’t fit his agenda.

He’s Not Looking for Anything Serious

This is the theme song for players. He’ll woo you and suck you in, then tell you he isn’t into serious relationships.

He’s not lying, for once. He isn’t into serious relationships because he’s incapable of that much affection unless it’s directed at himself.

Other guys will say they don’t like to place labels on relationships. This is the same thing said differently.

how to know if a guy is playing you

His Friends are Players

You might not see it in him, but it’s clear that his friends are players. Of course, this is assuming you do get to meet them. He might talk about their behavior, then you’ll see some of these red flags.

He doesn’t expect you to pick up on them, so he’s not worried about sharing those details with you.

He Texts but Doesn’t Make Plans with You

He might text or even call, and it’s all sweet and romantic, but he never plans a date with you. It’s all just words.

He’s getting an ego boost from the attention he’s getting from you when you talk, but he’s not interested in anything more.

The other possibility is that he’s stringing you along to see what happens in his other relationships. You’re a Plan B, C, or D.

A guy who’s into you wants to see you and spend time with you. He enjoys getting to know you and uncovering the mystery.

Your Dates are Uninspired

He’s not going to invest anything more into your relationship than he must, so your dates are more likely to be booty calls or binge-watching something at your place or his.

Of course, if you’re buying, he’s in, but if you expect him to spring for a romantic date, you’ll be waiting a long time.

He’s not into the romance stuff. For as good of a smooth talker as he is, he’s not very romantic. No more than he needs to be to get you hooked on him anyway.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | You Spend Too Much Time in Your Head

In the beginning, he’s all charm and attention. He texts all the time and seems like he’s falling as hard for you as you are for him.

Then things slow to a trickle and you end up wondering what you did wrong. What have you done to lose his attention? Why is he so distant?

You’ve done nothing, but he likes that you’re second-guessing yourself because you’ll dote on him more, thus boosting his ego. Of course, your efforts will be for nothing because he’s just in it for the ego boost and the sex.

When a guy is into you, he doesn’t leave you guessing, and he would never purposefully make you feel bad about yourself. You’ll feel good about your relationship and yourself because he works hard to help you feel secure in his affection for you.

He Isn’t Interested in the Real You

He’s asked all the right questions to learn about you superficially, but he’ll never ask real questions about you. He doesn’t want to become attached to you, or more likely, he’s afraid he’ll get attached to you and you’ll leave. His insecurities are always in play.

Guys who are into you want to know all about you. They love the quest of discovering who you are, which is why I always encourage women not to share too much at once. He doesn’t really want you to, regardless of how many questions he asks.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | Sex Happened Very Quickly

His big push is for sex. Even if he has other goals from his relationship with you, like status or money, sex is up there.

In fact, he might push for sex on the first date. You have every right, and you should say no. No guy is worthy of sex on a first date and a quality man won’t ask.

YOU are always in control of when sex happens and if you aren’t, this isn’t the guy for you. Don’t allow him to guilt you into it.

If he has any respect for you, no is no, and he’ll wait until you’re ready. If he has no respect for you, there is never a time when he’ll accept no. He’ll likely just move on, leaving you to believe you should have had sex with him.

No. You did the right thing!

He’s Past 18 Years Old and Claims He’s Never Been in Love

Everyone experiences their first love, usually in high school. Of course, later, many of us come to realize that wasn’t love, but it felt like it.

A guy who claims he’s never been in love, or in a long-term relationship probably isn’t lying but probably is a player. What he’s telling you is that he’s incapable of deep emotion and he bed-hops.

You deserve a man who is capable of love and nothing less.

how to know if a guy is playing you

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | He Acts Like a Player

Players live a different lifestyle. They party a lot so they can meet a lot of women. They hang out with their friends at different clubs every night. Your one night a week that he grants you is probably a weeknight, and he may or may not show up, as you’ve already read.

He dresses to impress in whatever he thinks will win over the women where he’s headed. If that’s a suit and tie, that’s what he’s wearing. If it’s tight jeans and a Henley that shows off his buff body, that’s what he’ll go for.

You Sense a Disturbance

You feel like you’re being played, but you just can’t believe this guy would do that to you. He’s so sweet and kind. Why would a guy who’s that nice be a player?

That’s the whole point. He’s nice so you don’t suspect him, but it’s all a cover. He knows what to say and do to keep you interested.

If you ask him about it, he’ll deny all charges, but you still know something is wrong.

Trust your intuition.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | What to do if You’ve Snagged a Player

At first, it’s tricky because players are great at looking like the confident man you deserve, but soon enough, their true colors shine through. Perhaps on that first encounter if he asks for sex.

Dump Him

The first thing to do is dump him. Don’t worry, he won’t be surprised or hurt. He expects this as a natural progression of his relationships.

You deserve a man who is confident and will genuinely love you and treat you like his queen. That type of man will plan romantic dates with you and savor every new tidbit of information he learns about you.

Go for that guy!

Take a Dating Breather

You snagged a player because he sensed a lack of dating confidence in you. Players lack confidence, so that’s who they go for. Likes attract likes. This is also why you’ve struggled to find a great, confident man. He sees your lack of confidence too and he’s avoiding you like the plague.

Instead, take a breather from dating and work on your confidence. I know it might not be what you want to hear, but that’s your key to finding great men.

Confident men are drawn to confident women, although they aren’t always aware of that particular draw. They just sense something about you that draws them to you.

Don’t Shoulder the Blame

This isn’t your fault. He is a predator who preys on women he thinks he can win over with his BS. Learn from this experience and take that dating breather to rebuild your confidence.

Being single isn’t a disease, it’s just a relationship status. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you’re single.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You

You’re armed now and ready to push away any players who come your way. Of course, if you take my advice and rebuild your confidence, you won’t need to.

They won’t approach because they know they don’t stand a chance. There are enough low-confidence women around that they’ll find one easily enough.

Now that you’ve read these signs, you’ll see players everywhere. Guys you didn’t suspect before now stand out to you.

That’s good! Now go build your confidence so you can find a guy who deserves you!

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