new relationship Archives

Is He a Keeper? Four Test Dates to Find Out

I often tell you that the best way to answer the question, “is he a keeper” is to take him on dates that will expose everything about him. You need to look past the killer smile and the six-pack abs, and see the real man.

You may be man shopping, or evaluating a new man, based on a list you created. Does he have a good job, or is he a slacker? Is he kind to others? Does he have a temper? Does he have kids, or an ex wife? Is he looking to settle down, or is he just out for a good time? Is he the possessive, jealous type? Is he being honest, or is he a habitual liar? Does he drink too much, or take drugs? Is he a player? All these thoughts running around in your brain could drive a girl crazy!

But, coming right out and asking him about all this can quickly feel like more of an interview than a date. Instead of playing reporter, test your new guy with these four dates, guaranteed to set your mind at ease. Then, you can make an informed decision on whether or not he’s a keeper.

Date #1: The Meet His Friends Date

Suggest a get-together with HIS friends. You could all go grab a beer at a pub, or maybe you could host a backyard cookout, or sit in on a poker night? This is a really easy way to get some clarity when your eyes are clouded with little hearts (and big biceps). If his friends are all immature or if they are players, chances are your guy is too. Take time to talk to all his friends. If he has been lying to you all along, an accidental revelation from his close pal can be a real eye-opener.

On the other hand, if he hangs with a good group of guys, where does he stand in the pack? Do his friends have respect for him? Pay close attention to how he behaves around the guys? Does he behave differently from the man he is with you? Does he put you second when it comes to his buddies, or is he attentive and proud to show you off?

Date #2: The Meet Your Friends Date

You should make sure YOUR friends get to meet your new guy as well. Throw a small dinner party with the girls or meet up with friends at a bar or restaurant. Girlfriends have your back, and even though you may not like what they have to say, they may see something about him that you are missing – like if he’s checking out other women, or even worse, hitting on one of your friends! Nobody can better answer the question, “is he a keeper” than your friends!

Your girlfriends can also ask the tough questions for you — all those thoughts running around your brain and driving you crazy! You can even give them a specific list of things you want to know, before the get together. After all, you can’t help it if your friends are overprotective of you!

Date #3: The Too Much To Drink Date

Alcohol is like a man’s truth serum. But if you want to get the whole truth and nothing but, YOU need to stay completely sober! Whether you nurse one drink all night, or stick to sparkling water with a twist of citrus, go to Happy Hour and see how he acts. Alternatively, you can drop in while he’s out with the guys, after he’s already had a few drinks.

Is he a loud, rude, and/or obnoxious drunk? Is he overly grabby and behaving inappropriately or disrespectfully? Is he aggressive, picking fights with anyone and everyone? Is he embarrassing himself and acting like a complete idiot? Or worse, is he drunk ALONE? All these can be big red flags.

On the other hand, maybe he has a few too many but keeps his cool, or maybe he’s a guy who doesn’t overdo it and drinks responsibly. You won’t know for sure until you go on this date!

Date #4: The Meet His Family Date

This is last on the list since this normally would not happen until you were dating for a while. But it’s really important to see how a man treats his family, and in particular, his mother. This can be very telling. If he does not respect his own mom, chances are he will not treat any woman in his life with respect. Of course, if he is all about Mama and puts her above everyone else, including you, you may also want to think twice.

His family knows him better than anyone, so be prepared to hear embarrassing stories about his childhood. If any serious issues come to light, trust that these are the people who love him unconditionally and would not say something disparaging if it were not true. Of course, if he has a strained relationship with his family, you may need to rely on the power of female intuition to tell you what is true and what is not. Be sure to keep this in mind – tension and mistrust within a family could be another red flag.

Remember, YOU are the chooser. There are good men out there waiting to date you, and maybe you have already found one. If you are not sure about the new man in your life, take Gregg’s good advice and test your guy with these four dates.

Don’t you think you’ve dated enough losers? Isn’t it time to find a great guy to date? Maybe you think you already have!

This book will help you know for sure! You’ll go in-depth on the good and bad qualities to look for in a man so you an know for sure.

End the guessing game and Weed out the Users!

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Sex and the new relationship: When is the right time for sex?

Build a Great Relationship, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Gregg today and I have a guest post to share with you. This one comes from someone you’ve heard from before, Amber, who shared her relationship story with us a couple of weeks ago. She has a great topic to share with you today! Amber will help answer this age-old question: When is the right time for sex? Hey ladies, Amber here! You’ve heard the old adage, “Why would he buy the cow if he can get the milk for free?” Well, maybe there’s some truth to that. Taking it slow can actually be a good thing in a new relationship, even if he is incredibly irresistible. WebMD and relationship experts, including Gregg, overwhelmingly agree a cautious approach to sex is best when dating. In fact, they believe jumping into the sack too soon can lead to some seriously emotional (and possibly even physical) consequences. It takes time to get to know another person, and it’s especially hard to see what he is really all about when you get lost in the heat of passion. What if he’s not such a good guy? What if he sleeps around? Can you trust him? Is he looking for a committed, monogamous relationship? Or just sex. Have you known him long enough to REALLY know? The sad truth is, men are wired to want to have sex — to conquer as many women as possible and spread their seed. Yes, even the nice guys…. at first. A woman is wired differently. We want to have the love of just one man and a family to nurture. If you let a guy “conquer” you too quickly, he will move on to the next woman just as quickly. But if you are a challenge, he will pursue you. And when he finally wins you, he will cherish and honor you. You will become his ultimate prize. I know, it all sounds so primitive and primal, but it’s also pretty accurate. Sleeping with a man on the first, or even after the third or fourth date, is probably too soon. Intelligent, confident women should know this, but still, we sometimes fall prey to their wily ways. A player is always going to play, but a good guy may just end up marrying you if you wait until you KNOW he is genuinely in love with you, and is committed to only you. So let’s say you meet a guy you are really attracted to. You’ve been on a bunch of dates and have great conversations. Time passes, and you both feel a real connection, emotionally and physically. You may even be thinking this guy could possibly be THE ONE. Whenever you’re together your feelings grow even stronger, and you may be wondering when to take your relationship to the next level. When is the right time to get to know him intimately? When the time is right, you’ll both know. You can’t plan it, and you wouldn’t want to. But remember, in any relationship, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open no matter what. If you’re too embarrassed to talk about it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. So if you really are thinking about taking that next step together (to the bedroom) and the time is right, have an honest conversation about what you want out of this relationship and where you two are headed. STDs also need to be discussed (condoms should be used, even in a committed relationship). Be up front now about ALL your concerns and expectations, before it’s too late. If he really cares about you, he won’t mind. You don’t want to get your heart broken, and you certainly don’t want an accidental pregnancy. It can happen, even if it’s just one time, and even if you’re careful. Sex might be fun, but raising a child on your own, or being tied FOREVER to the wrong guy, is probably not so fun. Dating can be difficult. Even though your brain tells you to wait as long as you can with a guy, sometimes the heat of the moment takes over, and “as long as you can” becomes RIGHT NOW! If you decide a one-night stand is fine by you, be up front with the guy and make your intentions clear. You should treat him the same way you would want to be treated. Guys can get their hearts broken too, you know. On the other hand, if you are looking for a committed relationship that will go the distance, make sure you have an emotional connection, not just a physical one, and it will be worth the wait. Making love is way better than just sex. And sex changes everything…. Hopefully in a good way! My new eBook, Manimals: Understanding Different Types of Men and How To Date Them, is all about the different types of men, their traits, their likes and dislikes, the pros and cons of dating them, and whether or not they’re even datable at all (hint: some aren’t). And it isn’t your typical book. Manimals is interactive, including infographics and videos that help bring the information to life — plus you’ll have the chance to tell YOUR story! Women who purchase this book will have the option of sharing how they successfully, or not so successfully, dealt with a Manimal, and be part of the story! Each month, I will update the book with new submissions. There’s no telling how big this book could become! Instructions will be included in the book on how to update your purchase each month so you can see won’t miss a thing.