men's secrets Archives

What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day

What Does a Man Want for Valentines Day?

Ah, the stress men face when Valentine’s Day nears. For me, and many men, it’s as tough or tougher than Christmas because it needs to be romantic. It needs to be right or we are screwed!

But what about men? What do we want? I mean it’s our day too right?

Well, I got on it and I surveyed my vast network of guys and here are the surprising results.

Make it about us too

Surprised? I wasn’t. Getting some nice cologne is okay, but if I must then shower you with gifts the rest of the night, well that doesn’t seem fair. We want it to be our day too. Somewhere along the way, Valentine’s Day became more about women than men. At least that’s how my guys felt. Don’t shoot the messenger!

Okay, okay. How about 75% you and 25% us? That will work.

Spend quality time

Yep, we want to be together alone too. You and me against the world! A cool restaurant maybe, with white linens and candles glowing. The real ones, not those fake plastic flickering things. It’s fun to look around at other couples enjoying themselves and think just how lucky we are today.

Many guys I talked to live in cold climates and they loved the idea of cooking at home together and snuggling up around the fireplace.

Others were fine doing whatever their significant others wanted to do as long as it was quiet and intimate. Yes, I’m talking about men!

What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day | Recognition for their effort

This may sound odd, but the guys told me that they get worried about not spending enough or doing something that every other guy does like getting flowers or chocolates.

Gary said, “I worry about Beth looking disappointed at me because I didn’t make it special enough.”

It’s important for women to realize that most of us are not good at this romantic stuff. We try, but we still need your help to make us better. Tell us that we made you happy and recognize the effort. If you do, you’ll find that we can and will get better.

Go for it in the bedroom

Let’s face it, sex can get a bit boring after years together and three kids running around. Make tonight special for both of you and mix it up this year! Spend some extra time doing some fun stuff with your hands and your tongue. Set a new precedent in the bedroom by teasing him.

He should be in as a romantic state as he ever will be on this day so go for it!

Massage!

This is my favorite. I’ll take a massage without having to reciprocate (I know, selfish) over a gift any day. And most men agreed with me. Follow up with a some oral givings and we will be in heaven!

What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day

My big takeaway is this: Valentine’s Day should be fun for both of you, but through the years, it has become a chore for men. Yes, that is our fault but help us be better won’t you?

And on behalf of all the men that screw up on Valentine’s Day, let me say, “There is always next year to get it right!”

Check out my great infographic and get some ideas churning for the big day!

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6 Tests to Prove He’s Single

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How to Find Out if a Guy is Single

Last week I wrote Is He Lying About Being Single? 6 Signs to Figure it Out. This week let’s put men’s feet to the fire and learn how to find out if a guy is single using the very same signs. Let’s prove he’s single!

He doesn’t give you his cell number

Ask for it. If he hesitates, then challenge him on it. Keep it funny and witty. Say, “Come on Mr., I want to include your wife in our conversations!”

Then, if he makes some lame excuse or goes MIA, give yourself a big pat on the back and do your happy dance!??

You just saved yourself a lot of heartache.

He is scheduling day time dates with you

Normally, I would like this from a guy. This proves he wants to get to know you instead of driving to the hoop on a Saturday night. But this could also mean that he is setting up a drive to the hoop when his girlfriend is out of town next week.

Learn How to Date Different Types of Men HERE

Change the time. Move it to after-work appetizers. Get the date out of the 9-5 work day and see if he agrees. If he constantly tries to pull it back into his time frame – be careful.

Let’s Prove He’s Single! | He never texts you after 7 pm

Last week, I mentioned he texts you all day but then he stops. Delay your response until night time and see if he responds. This shows him that you are busy and he is not your primary concern as I cover this in my #1 best seller, “Power Texting Men.” It also raises a red flag if he doesn’t respond to your night time texts.

He makes excuses when asked about a weekend trip

Obviously, you have been dating for a while if you are considering a weekend trip. That said, I have talked to women who didn’t find out until 6 months later that this guy had a wife and kids!

Mention a weekend trip. You don’t have to be serious, just throw it out there. Do this when you are in person so you can see his body language! If he quivers, stutters, or changes the subject, then you need to keep testing him.

Is He Single? He gets interrupted when you are on a date

I love this one! If he walks away or he stays and his voice gets quieter, do this: Walk past him and say something fairly loud like, “I’ll be right back, babe, I’m hitting the ladies room.”

How to find out if a guy is single

Afterwards, when you come back and don’t see him, look under the table. He will be sucking his thumb and crying because he just lost both you and his girlfriend!!

He goes MIA

Then you go MIA! When he contacts you 3 days later, with his lame ass excuse – give him 4 days and hit him with your lame ass excuse! “Oh, hey, I lost my phone too!”

POW ?!!

I just love screwing with men

To Sum Up…

Some of these things could be harmless – I get that. Look at all the signs and test if he is single. If he is doing 2 or 3 of these things, then re-access things.

Cover your bases. Challenge him on his excuses. Set boundaries. Make it crystal clear that you are a catch and your time is valuable.

Trust your intuition – she is rarely wrong. Now let’s see if he REALLY likes you.

7 Things Your Boyfriend Won’t Tell You (and Will Deny if You Ask)

Build a Great Relationship, Find Happily Ever After, Understand Men

Things Your Boyfriend Won’t Tell You

There are always things that both men and women are hesitant to share with their partners, things that they know will bite them in the butt if they share. There are definitely things your boyfriend won’t tell you, and while this isn’t a comprehensive list, it does hit the highlights.

Your job is not to do anything silly—like confront him on these on your next date night. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Things Your Boyfriend Won’t Tell You | Secret #1: He WILL lie about your cooking

You may think you’re an awesome cook, but that meatloaf of yours…yeah, he’d rather go to Burger King. I wouldn’t look too deep into this. If he says he likes it the first time, don’t ask him ten more times.

You’ll get the same answer and you’ll both be grumpy about it. Give him a couple of options, and if you notice he never wants one of those options, chop it out of your dinner rotation. Problem solved.

Secret #2: He’s not going to stop watching porn (no matter how nicely you ask)

But you knew this…or at least I hope you did. Your guy loves having sex with you, but he also loves watching sex from time to time (too much, he may have a problem.)

The more you ridicule him into thinking it’s wrong, the more likely he’ll resent you. Besides, this isn’t about you. I’m sure you’re fantastic in bed. But no matter how crazy the sex, a guy is going to feel the need to get off without you from time to time.

Secret #3: He’ll never tell you that you look fat—EVER

You could be wearing a moo-moo and closing in on 400 pounds, he doesn’t dare say it, not ever. He knows that the minute he says something, you’ll go through your entire wardrobe before you two can leave the house.

things your boyfriend won't tell you

On top of that, you’ll force him to watch as you try on everything you own. If he really thinks you look better in something and says so, you probably won’t believe him – and he knows it.

Secret #4: He doesn’t feel like chit chat after sex

I think a lot of you read this and know about it, but it still doesn’t stop you from getting angry when your guy falls asleep in the middle of one of your monologues. Sorry, but our brains shut down.

We want to play a video game or turn on Netflix but the last thing we feel like doing is chatting. Don’t blame us. Blame biology.

Secret #5: Steamy sex dreams (that don’t involve you) aren’t leaving the confines of his head

He’ll never mention it…ever, especially if it has to do with an ex. Sex with other partners in a dream says nothing about his own desire for you so you shouldn’t feel threatened by it. He’s not going to call his ex up just because he had a dream about her.

Secret #6: He’ll hide the fact that he doesn’t feel like having sex with you (at the moment)

It’s easy for girls to tell their guys to bugger off if they don’t want sex. That’s pretty normal in a standard relationship. Society, however, doesn’t apply that same logic to men denying women sex.

Your guy is so nervous about saying something that he’ll probably just run with it anyway—regardless of whether he’s stressed out, tired, annoyed with you, or a whole slew of other things.

Secret #7: Yes, he’s looking at other women – and enjoying it

He’s sneaky about it, too. For every time you’ve caught him looking at another girl, he’s done it another 10 times without you noticing. When he’s hanging out with friends, it’s even worse.

Can we agree that there are other pretty women out there? He’s not going to have sex with them (if you are a catch – and you are) so don’t sweat it. And the more you get on his case about it, the more he’ll just feel nervous around you. Trust your man and understand that it’s nothing personal.

Things Your Boyfriend Won’t Tell You Final Thoughts

If you’re in a great relationship, none of these little secrets are important. He still loves you and wants to do what’s best for the relationship. I would strongly suggest you not bring these up, even if you have in the past. Give your dude some space. Trust me, he’ll appreciate it.