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How to Save a Long-Distance Relationship from Falling Apart

How to Save a Long-Distance Relationship from Falling Apart

In today’s dating environment, full of websites and apps that can connect people who live anywhere from next door to thousands of miles apart, the idea of a long-distance relationship isn’t that far-fetched and yet it can be challenging if you don’t have the proper tools in hand. Learn how to save a long-distance relationship from falling apart.

What is a Long-Distance Relationship?

I suppose before we start talking about how to have a successful long-distance relationship (LDR), we should get on the same page about what one is.

A long-distance relationship is most often defined as a relationship between two people who live more than 125 miles apart. This means your man probably lives a little more than a two-hour drive from you, at the very least.

Your distance could be temporary, such as when one or both of you are in the military and are away for a while, or even if one or both of you are in college in different cities. It could also have a more permanent feel.

This might come into play if you met online and you both have lives that include jobs, family and friends in separate cities.

Regardless of why there is distance between you, the fact remains that it’s there.  How can you manage the situation if you can’t be with the one you love?

The “We Met Online” LDR

If you met someone online and he lives far away from you, the first consideration you need to make is whether you’re willing to engage in this type of relationship. Deciding to include someone in your life, long-distance or not, is a big decision.

Since you have never met this person before, this type of decision should be delayed until you’ve spent some time together. You may meet in person and discover that all the attraction is gone. The spark you felt online just isn’t there in person.

This happens more often than you can imagine. There are things you can do, before you meet, to avoid this, however sometimes, there’s no avoiding it. The trick is to acknowledge it and move on, rather than cling to something that isn’t working just because you feel disappointed.

The “We Moved Apart” LDR

In some cases, you may originally have lived near one another, but something causes one or both of you to relocate. This happens when someone graduates from college or advanced study, when one person gets a new job, or when someone is deployed as part of their military duty.

In this instance, you should engage in an honest discussion about how you feel. Putting this much distance between you can put a strain on an already strained relationship, or it can add a layer of mystery to a relationship that’s thriving.

There is no right or wrong answer that anyone other than the two of you can come up with.

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how to save a long-distance relationship from falling apart

Starting from Ground Zero | How to Save a Long-Distance Relationship from Falling Apart

If your long-distance relationship began online, meaning you met him online before you met him in person, there are some things you need to know about making sure your first meeting has the best possible outcome.

Sure, as I mentioned above, there is still a chance that your first meeting might fall flat, but let’s see if you can’t take some steps to avoid making that happen first.

Don’t Overshare

The easiest thing to do when you meet someone online, whether there’s distance between you or not, is to overshare.

It goes something like this…

Hey Ashley!

I’m so glad you replied to my first message! I really loved how you included your dog, Arthur, in some of your photos! I’m a dog person too and he looks like he’s a great companion.

Do you have other pets? How long have you had him?

I don’t currently have any pets, but I’d love to get either a dog or a cat soon. I think having a pet helps to keep things entertaining.

What type of career do you have? Do you have a degree? What’s it in?

I’m an engineer right now, but I’d like to move into more of a management role. I’m kind of bored just looking at drawings all day long so I’m taking some classes to help me get the promotion.

Does your family live close? I live about two hours away from my family. They actually live closer to you than to me. They’re about an hour from you I guess. I’d love to be closer to my family some day. Are you close to your family?

…and it goes on and on with him sharing small pieces of his life and asking questions.

While this type of email seems exciting, it’s a HUGE red flag waving right in your face. Not because he seems like a schmuck. He actually seems like a decent guy. He told you what he liked about your profile pictures. He seems to be gainfully employed and he’s looking for a promotion. All signs of a great guy.

BUT, he’s asked way too many questions for a first email. How do you manage this without coming off looking as if you have something to hide?

Perhaps something like this…

Hey Jeff,

Thanks for noticing Arthur. He’s very special to me and a huge part of my life for sure! And yes, I agree that pets can be very entertaining. Just last week, he got himself wedged behind the TV stand because his ball had rolled back there.

You sure are an inquisitive type, aren’t you? 

If you don’t mind, I’d like to share pieces of myself with you a little slower. I think it’s important for us to save some things for when we meet for the first time, don’t you? I’m excited to find out more about you too, but I can wait for the real deal!

As a reward for your nice comment about Arthur, I’ll give you one answer. I have one other pet, if you can call him that. It’s my pet Beta fish, Stan. He’s more of a blue color and mostly he’s a lot quieter than Arthur.

When you get a chance, how about you write me and tell me about the pet you’d like to get. I’d love to hear more.

Ash

In this reply, you acknowledged the good things he said, and you playfully told him he’d been a little too inquisitive. There’s no need to be mean and the smile emoji helps him know you’re just poking a little fun in his direction.

When you’re communicating through a typed format, it’s easy to misunderstand the words. Be careful of this when you read his replies to your messages and try to make sure that if you’re being playful, you let him know in some way.

If Something Feels Off, It Probably Is

Your gut doesn’t fail you. If something about the person you’re chatting with feels off, block him. Check out the experience Katy had recently.

Katy met Bill online and he seemed like a great guy. He claimed to have kids that were around the same age as Katy’s and, after she pressed him hard enough, he provided photos of three kids. After a few emails, Bill said he was heading out of the country and he’d have limited access to email for a few days.

Katy didn’t mind, but then, things started to smell pretty fishy! Bill sent her an urgent email. He had been in a cab and claimed his wallet and briefcase were stolen. He was out of cash and needed her to wire him $100 so he could get by for a day or so.

Katy immediately smelled a rat and blocked Bill from everything. If he was indeed in trouble, he needed to go to closer friends and family before he tried a stranger. She suspected it was all a game, so she didn’t feel an ounce of guilt.

This story is all too common, unfortunately, and people keep doing it because it works. They latch onto someone with low confidence or someone who believes the best of everyone and the next thing you know, they’re schmoozing them out of their bank account.

NEVER give someone access to your bank account or send them money until you’ve met them in person and have spent enough time with them to know they’re not out to rob you blind. Don’t be afraid to look them up on social media. Ask to meet their friends. Look up the photos they send you on those fake image apps. Be sure before you put yourself in danger.

If He Seems Too Good to be True, He Probably Is

Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself, “He seems too good to be true” but you marched on anyway, only to find out later that Mr. Goodguy turned out to be a loser of the highest order?

When your dating confidence is low, usually due to some negative dating experiences or awful things people have told you in your past, you’ll fall for any line and you’ll easily overlook Mr. Goodguy’s obvious flaws, all because he likes you, or so he says.

Before you go out looking for your next guy, if you don’t currently have one, be very careful of the guy who seems too good to be true. He listens well. He does all the things you think you want a guy to do, but in the end, he’s a true player or loser.

I know a new relationship can be exciting and a guy who seems to be perfect can feel like a huge relief. Finally, a guy who listens.

It’s the same rule that applies in all other areas of your life. If it/he seems to be too good to be true, he probably is.

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how to save a long-distance relationship from falling apart

Don’t Date with Marriage in Mind

What I mean by this is don’t go on a first date, feel all the endorphins of a chemical attraction and go out to buy a Bride’s magazine after.

This can be especially challenging in a long-distance relationship. You only get to see one another every few weeks, most likely, and each meeting can stir those endorphins all over again. There’s a chemical attraction between you.

Still, it’s important to give a new relationship time to blossom. A chemical attraction doesn’t automatically mean you’ll fall in love and get married. Think back to other relationships that started with tons of heat. Where are those guys now?

I’m not trying to be mean. I’m trying to make sure you date with your head instead of your heart. When you’re first dating someone, you shouldn’t plan to be monogamous, nor should you expect him to be. Date other guys until you feel that one relationship that clicks, not just with chemistry, but with other areas of attraction as well.

Too often, when confidence is low (for either the guy or the woman), they immediately start thinking long-term. This is really an attempt to shore up their own confidence. If this person will make long-term plans with me, I must be worthy of this relationship.

Date a guy to learn more about him. Do different things together. Go different places. Plan different types of dates. If you’ve met a guy online and you go to visit him, don’t stay at his place. Stay somewhere else. There is no reason to expect to sleep together on your first few visits.

Dating is about seeing if you fit. Being engaged is about planning a wedding. Date to find a good fit.

Meet Him in Public

It should go without saying that if you meet someone online, your first few meetings should be in public. Don’t go visit some guy who lives two hours away and go to his home. Meet him in a restaurant, bowling alley, movie theater or wherever, but don’t meet him at his home and don’t invite him to yours.

This should be the case for your first several dates. Do what you can to check him out. Become friends with him on social media. Stalk him a little to see what he’s up to and what type of friends he seems to have.

If you have any suspicions, dig a little deeper. It’s not a bad thing to do a background check on someone if you have doubts.

Your safety should be your biggest concern when you’re meeting someone new. Don’t go into it blindly because he seems like a nice guy online.

Take Things Slowly

Our instinct with new relationships is to move quickly. In a long-distance relationship, you’re not able to see one another as often as if you lived in the same town. You might not see one another for two weeks or even a month. Then, when you do get together, it might not be for very long. You shouldn’t plan to spend every waking moment together, just because you’re in the same town.

But the brakes on and take your time. If he’s really the one, you have all the time in the world. If he’s putting on the full-court press to get you into his bed, take another step back. This might be all he wants from you, regardless of how far away you live.

Sleeping with a guy too soon screams of low confidence and him begging or, heaven forbid, demanding that you sleep with him too soon says he’s a player or a loser whose confidence is low, and he just wants a notch on his bedpost. He doesn’t care any deeper than that.

As I said in the last section, plan very public and different dates. This is how you learn about someone, how you build memories and intimacy together, and how you find out if you’re a good fit. When you go to visit, don’t arrive in the evening, arrive around lunchtime and plan a lunchtime date. Plan to spend the remainder of your day doing something else, or if you live close enough, return home.

Daytime dates have a lower chance of sex. A great guy who’s into you will agree to daytime dates because he just wants to spend time with you. A player wants a nighttime date, in a bar or somewhere he can fill you with alcohol to lower your inhibitions.

You’re in control. After you’ve seen one another several times and you’ve dug into him a little online, you can start planning more romantic outings.

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What to do if You Can’t Be with The One You Love

Sometimes, situations force you to move apart. Maybe a great job offer comes along for one of you and it’s too good to pass up. One must stay behind because of kids, jobs, property or a host of other reasons. Military deployment also forces couples apart and usually with some fear, depending on where the deployment is. In other circumstances, you may move apart due to college or family obligations.

Regardless of the reason, there are some things you should do before the distance comes between you.

Before any decisions are made, you should engage in at least one honest discussion about how you both feel. One of you may be very excited about a new opportunity, while the other may be apprehensive.

Talk about the distance. How often can you meet, if at all? In military deployments, this is most likely not an option. Click here for some great tips on managing your relationship during a military deployment.

Determine if you can stand to be apart for that long with just Facetime or Zoom chats? Of course, if you’re getting into a relationship with someone in the military, you should make these considerations before you get too deeply involved.

Talk also about how long you’ll remain distant. Can the person who isn’t relocating relocate eventually? Is this a temporary displacement for the person who’s moving? Set a plan for when you’ll be reunited in the same city.

Also set expectations. You’re going to want to talk to him more often than he will want to talk to you. This is just because men aren’t talkers most of the time, like women tend to be. Decide whether you’ll talk every evening, every other day, or whatever. You can even go so far as to set a timeframe. That way, you can both make sure your schedules are clear during those times.

When you set expectations, discuss how often you’ll visit one another. If where you live is home base for him, meaning he has family and friends there, he may want to come visit you most of the time so he can see others as well. It will also be nice, though, to go visit him and get away from friends and family. Decide now what your visit cadence will be. These are all smart steps to take when you can’t be with the one you love.

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Top 5 Tips on Having a Successful LDR

Exercise Patience

Remember, you’re not the only one who’s being inconvenienced. If where he lives is not his home base, he may really find himself missing his friends and family. He may feel isolated in his new location, especially if he doesn’t really know anyone there yet.

When men are struggling with emotions, they tend to retreat. If you feel he’s doing this, it probably doesn’t have anything to do with you and your relationship, so don’t take it personally. Let him crawl inside and lick his wounds. He’ll be back.

After a couple weeks there, he’ll begin to make new friends and he’ll start to feel better. Meanwhile, be patient. If you talk during your pre-arranged time and he seems to want to end the conversation earlier than normal, just say good night and let him be. Don’t make an issue out of it. He will appreciate your patience and he may even share with you what he’s feeling if he trusts you with his vulnerabilities.

Continue Living Your “Regular” Life

Just because you’re now separated by distance, it doesn’t mean you should stop living. This is the time to step up your game. Continue to enjoy girls’ night with your friends or start having girls’ night with your friends.

Pick up an old hobby or start a new one. Get busy doing something to occupy your time. This will help you continue to build your interesting story it will add a layer of mystery to your relationship, especially when you share with him that you just finished a class on how to cook his favorite Asian dish or how to make candles or whatever.

It will also keep you from sitting alone, missing him and wallowing.

At the same time, allow him to find a new life where he is. Let him find new friends and explore new hobbies. Then, when you go visit, you have people to hang out with and things to do together.

If you’re the one who’s relocating, don’t just sit in a lonely apartment wishing you were back home. Explore your new city. Join Meetup groups that focus on things of interest to you. Meet new people. Form new friendships. Even if you’re there temporarily, everyone can use new friends. Join a workout club. Pursue a hobby. Do something, anything, to keep yourself busy and growing.

Practice Radio Silence Throughout the Day

I recommend this for all couples, whether they live together or apart. Don’t text all day with mundane messages about your day.

“Oh geeze, Stan just came into my office wanting me to do an emergency project for him…again!”

“I miss you so much! I can’t wait to see you later.”

“Hey babe, let’s have Italian for dinner this weekend. I’ve got a real craving for lasagna.”

Text him in the morning with a “Good morning. Hope you have a great day” text and then let it go until you speak that evening. This gives you something to talk about and also keeps you from getting aggravated when he can’t respond right away, or vice versa.

Respect the Reason for Your Distance

There is a reason why the two of you live apart right now. Whether that’s because you met online and haven’t committed yet to a relationship or a job or deployment has caused you to separate for a while.

Regardless, there is a reason why there is currently this distance between you. Respect that reason and don’t try to force changes in the situation before it’s time.

You’ll have days when you think you’d be better off to quit your job or drop out of school and join your partner. Resist that urge. If you’ve just met, the time will come when you can plan to be together, if it’s meant to be.

If you had a relationship before the distance entered the equation, there’s a reason you both felt was valid enough to cause the separation. Respect it. Understand that neither of you wants to be apart, but this is the truth of your situation at this time.

Instead of hating the reason for separating you, be grateful for it. This separation has caused you to challenge your relationship in new ways. You’ll have to get and be creative to find ways to spend time together.

When you’re apart from one another, focus on the areas of your life that don’t specifically include your partner, like your job, friends, hobbies or family commitments. Then, when you’re together, you can dedicate your time to one another.

Be Supportive of One Another

One of the best ways to shore up your long-distance relationship is to be supportive of each other during your separation.

This means encouraging him to find new friends and then being agreeable to meeting them when you visit. It means being supportive when he’s having a rough day, even though it’s by phone or text.

It means sharing things with him about your adventures and encouraging him to have adventures too. If he picks up a new interest that means you have to reschedule your regular chat time once or twice a week, tell him it’s okay and encourage him to participate.

The best thing you can do for one another is to continue to be supportive. If he were living in the same town and wanted to join a rec basketball league, you probably wouldn’t hesitate to say yes, even if it forces you to change which night is date night for a couple months.

Be that same supportive wife or girlfriend now. This will help him feel more supportive of you as well. This type of supportive attitude breeds more supportive attitude and it blossoms into a wonderfully successful LDR.

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Long distance relationship date night ideas

Long-Distance Relationship Date Night Ideas

I’ve already tossed a few date night ideas out there, but there are so many more. It isn’t really important what you do on a date night. It’s more important that you plan them at regular intervals, especially during your time apart.

Prepare a Meal Together

If the two of you enjoy cooking together, why not prepare a meal together when you’re apart? You can either give him his own grocery list and send him shopping or have the ingredients delivered to him by a local store. Then, make sure he has all the recipes he needs and plan a time to start cooking.

If you really want to make it meaningful, you can also send him candles and a tablecloth to match the one you’ll be using. Send him a bottle of wine and make sure he has a wine glass like yours. The more “together” you feel, the more special this date will be.

Use a video chat app like Facetime, Skype or Zoom to share this time together. You can even have music playing in the background.

Plan a Stargazing Date

This one might take a little more planning, since stars aren’t always out, but try to choose a day in the near future when you’ll both have clear skies. Make sure to have your favorite warm or cold beverage, depending on the weather, and a nice place to sit and look at the beautiful night sky.

Share with one another what you see and the atmosphere around you. What do you see? What do you hear? Is it chilly? You can even get a book that helps you see the different constellations, so you’ll really know what you’re seeing.

This type of date is more about spending quality time together than it is about the other things, like what you see, but being able to describe the intricacies of your environment helps you feel as if you’re a part of one another’s space.

Play Board Games

Yes, you can do this long-distance. All you need to do is make sure you both have the same games. You each end up moving both your own pieces and your partner’s pieces so your game boards look the same, but otherwise, you play just like you would if you were together.

The possibilities are endless on what games you can play. My family plays cut-throat Monopoly, but I know a couple who loved to play backgammon together. Some people prefer games like Scrabble or Yahtzee. It doesn’t matter what you play. The important thing is to spend that time together doing something fun.

Heck, you could even do something like Wii bowling or another video game activity. Some even offer the ability to play with others online, so if video games are your jam, this can be a great date night idea.

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Is He Cheating on You?

First of all, if you’re constantly worried about this, chances are you need to shore up your confidence a bit. You’re not so much jealous as you are lacking confidence in your ability or deservedness to be loved.

However, if something happens to cause you to think he might be cheating and this isn’t a feeling you have frequently, it’s worth investigating. Here are a few signs that he might be cheating in your long-distance relationship.

I should also say again, however, that if your relationship is new, dating other people is okay and this isn’t an issue for you. He isn’t cheating. He’s trying on different women to see who fits and you should be doing the same with other men.

But, if your relationship is older, here are some signs to look for.

Cheating Isn’t More Common in LDR’s

Let’s begin by stating that just because the two of you live apart doesn’t mean there is a greater risk of cheating.

Cheating relates more to the status of your relationship, regardless of where you both live, than it does about the distance between you. If someone is going to cheat, the distance won’t matter.

What Constitutes Cheating?

Ultimately, this is between the two of you, but generally speaking, cheating is more about whether or not a layer of secrecy and intimacy with someone else develops. Someone’s expectations about the relationship were violated.

What truly matters when it comes to cheating is what matters to both of you. Generally speaking, people consider it cheating if there is a sharing of emotions, feelings, thoughts or bodily fluids with someone other than their partner.

Things you feel should be exclusive between you. Again, this is in a committed relationship and not a new one.

When you set expectations for your relationship, after you establish that you have one, clear those things up. In a committed relationship, you should feel comfortable sharing your feelings and vulnerabilities with one another. This comes with trial and error. You share something small and test the waters. He’ll do the same. Then, when you feel comfortable, you’ll share something bigger.

Those things build intimacy and it’s when intimacy is shared with someone else that cheating most often can be defined. If he’s hanging out with a group from work that happens to include women, he probably isn’t cheating. If, however, he starts spending time with one of those women on a regular basis and things seem to be close between them, it might be time to ask a few questions.

Be sure to have open communication, after you’re in a committed relationship, about what you each consider to be cheating and then be careful not to cross those lines.

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how to save a long-distance relationship from falling apart

Subtle Signs of Possible Cheating

His Behavior or Patterns Change

Be mindful of changes in his patterns or behavior. If he always sent you a “Good Morning” text, but now those have dropped off, you have a warning sign. This doesn’t mean he is cheating, but it’s one sign that something might be up. It could also be that he’s been working late and his mornings are busier because he’s not able to get up and moving as fast.

Other signs of behavior or pattern changes include:

  • Not sharing as much about his day-to-day life
  • Not talking about your future together any more
  • A reduced call/text/email schedule from your usual agreed upon schedule
  • Not coming to visit as often
  • Less interest in sex, whether in person or apart
  • Less frequency or a compete drop-off in “I love you”, if you’ve said that already

He’s Too Busy for You

In a long-distance relationship, your time together is the reward for suffering the time apart, however, if he seems to be squeezing you into his life or he starts changing your visits to be less often, something might be amok.

His “busy-ness” might also happen throughout the week, when you’d normally be having a date night or chatting on the phone. If you feel as if you’ve become a much lower priority in his life, chances are someone else may have risen to the top.

Again, this is less true in a new relationship where dating others is still expected.

His Communication Drops Off—A LOT

Sure, there may come a day or two when he can’t chat with you at your predetermined time, but if, all of a sudden, his unavailability becomes more frequent, there could be someone else he’s spending his time with.

Make sure there isn’t a valid reason, like a work project or family emergency that’s keeping him away before you jump to conclusions, but this is definitely something to note.

Another way this may show is if he stops answering your calls. Not being able to chat during normal working hours is one thing, but if you know he’s not at rec league basketball and you were scheduled to chat, he should be picking up your calls. One time doesn’t make him a cheater, but repeatedly ignoring your calls might.

Things Feel Rushed When You Call

When he calls, he seems relaxed and ready to chat with you, but when you call, he can’t get you off the phone fast enough.

This should give you a reason to consider cheating. Why does he want you off the phone so fast when you call? Perhaps because he either has someone with him or he’s expecting someone to show up soon.

When he calls you, he has control over his availability. He can call you when he knows he won’t be busy with someone else.

Like the other signals, one instance of this isn’t a reason to worry, but repeated instances is.

All Your Calls are When He’s in Transit

He calls you on his way to work or on his way home. He calls you when he’s at work or on his way home from the grocery store. He never calls you any more from his home.

This could be because someone else is there and he can’t talk. If you’ve just met a guy online and he’s pulling this, he may already be married. If you had a relationship prior to the separation, you need to consider that there’s someone else cleaning his shower.

He Doesn’t Socially “Share” You

A guy who’s in a committed relationship is happy to share her with his friends. He won’t be wary of posting pictures of the two of you together. He’ll accept that “In a Relationship” Facebook status.

He will invite you to hang out with him and his friends when you’re together.

A guy who won’t share that he’s in a relationship with you is a guy who has something to hide, or a guy who isn’t as serious as you are about the relationship. If it feels like he’s hiding you, chances are he’s hiding something else too.

He Suddenly has an Entirely New Group of Friends

It’s fine to make friends at work or even as a result of joining a team or a Meetup group, but if he suddenly gains a collection of new friends outside of those circumstances, chances are they came with a new woman. They’re her friends.

Taylor and Brad had been together for a couple years. They’d even recently bought a house together, but suddenly, Taylor started noticing that Brad was bringing around a new group of friends. Sure, he’d just started a new job, but these weren’t friends from work, and he grew up in a different city, so they weren’t childhood friends either.

Still, Taylor didn’t think a lot of it until one day when she saw a text come through on Brad’s iPad. She didn’t work until later and he was already at work. The text was from one of the women in the group, and there was no doubt that Brad and this woman were more than casual friends.

That was the end for Taylor and Brad. She left that day, they sold their house together and both moved on. Looking back, it really got to Taylor that this woman had visited their home together several times, as “one of the gang.” This was what hurt her the most.

His Stories Don’t Align

When you start lying to someone, it gets challenging to keep your story straight. He may have told you last week that his new softball team practiced on Monday nights, so he couldn’t chat with you then. Now, he can’t chat on Tuesday and he claims that’s practice night.

He might tell you he was hanging out with friends last Saturday but then when you ask how it went, he draws a blank until the memory of his lie pops back and he’s able to recover.

Watch for these inconsistencies. Liars add lots of details to make their story seem plausible, but they often can’t recall all those details later. This doesn’t mean you start acting like a game show host, quizzing him about the details. Just be aware of a pattern of inconsistencies.

He Overreacts

If you sense inconsistencies or that something is wrong and you ask about it, he might overreact if he’s cheating.

This can be out of guilt or his own inability to handle conflict. He may even turn the situation on you. “You’re always so suspicious” or “You overreact to everything I say” or whatever.

When you have a good relationship and you raise a concern, his first reaction shouldn’t be an overreaction, accusations or paranoia. In a solid relationship, he will hear your concerns and reply with something in a way which shows his compassion and concern for your feelings.

What to Do If You’re Suspicious

First of all, all of the signs mentioned above can be explained in other ways besides cheating. It’s important that you don’t jump to the wrong conclusions too fast.

Instead, you need to facilitate a conversation that is as open and honest as it can be, without getting defensive or turning into a shouting match.

Ask him about his work – have things been busier than normal? Is this why he hasn’t called as often? Be patient and unaccusatory. Ask questions that probe without being downright negative.

It may be that if he’s cheating, he will feel greatly relieved to tell you and get it off his chest. At that point, you can decide what your next steps are. If he’s cheating and you can’t accept him back, that’s completely reasonable. Take the steps you need to dissolve your relationship including shipping his stuff to him and getting your own stuff back.

If he denies cheating but you still suspect, you’ll have to do some detective work on your own to uncover the truth.

I have two alternative solutions.

The first is to try to get him back. For that, you should read my best-seller, How to Get Your Ex Back Fast.

The second is to let him go and work through the loss in a healthy way. To do this, you should read another best-seller I wrote called He’s Gone, Now What?

To be honest, you should read He’s Gone, Now What in either instance as it helps you work through the emotions of a breakup, regardless of who initiated it or what caused it. How to Get Your Ex Back Fast will help you deploy powerful tactics that will have him begging you to be his girlfriend again.

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how to save a long distance relationship from falling apart

What to do if You Can’t Be with the One You Love – Wrap Up

With today’s technology, there are many ways in which you can make a long-distance relationship work. Of course, there are pitfalls to any relationship, but if you go into a long-distance relationship with a set of reasonable expectations that you work on together, it should be smooth sailing.

Of course, like any relationship it takes time to allow it to grow and become the relationship you both dream of, but if it’s built on solid ground, this won’t be a problem.

If you’re willing to put the time and energy into this relationship, just as you would with a relationship in which you live closer together, you can learn how to save a long distance realationship from falling apart.

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Are you Counting the Days until you see your guy again? Do you wish for a long distance relationship that felt as if it could go that distance? This book helps you learn ways in which you can make the most of your time apart. You’ll learn new ways to communicate and share time together, even when you’re apart. It’s a great book for helping you find the answers to the probing questions people seem to have no problem asking.

You can learn more about the book here or you can buy it now by clicking one of the buttons below.

7 Things Guys Will Tolerate – For a Little While

7 Things Guys Will Tolerate – For a Little While

If a guy likes you, he’ll put up with a lot. He’ll say he doesn’t mind things that he really can’t stand. Why? Because he’s with you, that’s why! That said, once a relationship begins to settle down, you may begin to notice he isn’t as interested in, or tolerant of, certain things as he once was. That’s because he really wasn’t interested all along! Here are 7 things guys will tolerate – or do – only because they really, really like you.

Chit chat about everything that happened that day

You may have heard men are simple creatures, even dunces, but we’re cunning masters when it comes to making you believe we’re listening to you. In the beginning, we’ll hang on your every word, seriously! But as time goes on, even the most kind-hearted fella will start to zone out. Tricks to avoid this one: don’t go into heavy subjects while he’s reading, watching TV or relaxing. Don’t start with “I had a miserable day” every day and expect us to tune in to find out what happened this time.

Crying once a week…or MORE

Are you addicted to crying? Do you just love getting your guy in a corner and unleashing your sorrow on him? Is he the ear you can always count on? Well I’ve got news for you – he’ll be very intent on helping you through for a while, but if you keep it up, he’s going to start wondering what the heck is going on. Eventually he’ll take you for an emotional wreck and leave you. Tricks to avoid: cry to a friend over the phone. Get it all out and THEN talk to him about it.

Shopping at the mall

Of course you knew this already…but women will drag a guy into clothing stores anyway! In the early days and weeks of a relationship he’ll be more than happy to do this. But, unless he’s as serious about shopping as you are, his interest in it is going to fade away—fast. My suggestion: go with friends, not him. He’ll wonder what you’re doing and why you’re not hanging out with him, putting you in a position of power, which is right where you want to be.

Wierd dieting methods

We’ll profess to find your new diet fascinating, and even decide we want to do it, too! But if you’re bouncing around from Paleo to South Beach to Atkins we’re going to lose our minds. Guys you’ve been living with for a while will show extreme resistance unless their doctor tells them they’re going to die if they keep eating the way they are. In any case, find one diet, stick to it, and you may be able to keep a guy from going nuts.

A spiritual awakening

He’ll accept your decision to search the spiritual world for who you are and what the meaning of life is. He’ll even push you to make those life changes you want so much. But if you’re in a long-term relationship and you suddenly start going to incense-drenched yoga classes three days a week, don’t expect us to be too excited to join you.

Dinners out with your family

He’ll be happy to hang out with your parents and family if it means scoring points with you. But once he realizes it’s an obligation and not a point-scoring mission, he’ll be much less interested in joining you for the affair. My tip: be super nice to him, tell him how awesome he is for going, and give him great sex afterward. He’ll get so used to the attention you give him on those nights he’ll be more than happy to keep going.

Your taste in music

He’s going to tell you he loves One Direction and can’t get enough of Taylor Swift, but as soon as the relationship transitions into cruise control, he’d much rather be listening to Tool or Stone Temple Pilots. Tip: iPods and a pair of headphones is all you need!

Final Thoughts

I want to say this is partly our fault as men. We’re so happy to hang out with a girl we like initially and we’ll do just about anything to make her happy. It’s not lying so much as it is sidelining our annoyances until things settle down and we realize you’re not going anywhere! If you want to make sure this doesn’t happen, keep him on his toes in the relationship, keep him guessing about whether or not you’re sticking around for good, and reward him when he does something you want. Simple!

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