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Is He Right For Me?

Is He Right For Me?

Ming Asked, Is He Right For Me?

Gregg, I have a great 2 ½ year relationship going but I am worried, and I am hoping you can guide me and help me decide if he is right for me.  I am 33 years old and he the same. My guy is awesome in many ways – he treats me well, he showers me with love and he has the same family goals and timing as I do. The sex is great and my family loves him too.

So what’s wrong, you ask?

I just don’t feel that he is my soulmate. We don’t “click” quite as well as I think we should. I have dated crappy men that were more compatible with me it seems. Our highs were higher, if you will, then they are with my current guy. Of course, our lows were terrible.

Am I making any sense? Is he right for me? Am I just getting cold feet? Is there a way that I can get him to work on this and “get me” more?

Your avid follower,
Ming

Hi Ming, thanks for your question. It’s a dandy!

As a dating coach who concentrates on women and their dealings with men, I have come to learn one thing: A woman needs to trust her intuition!

How to Know if you Found the Right Guy?

If he takes care of you when you are sick – he is the right guy!

If you are asking me this question, then something is wrong. Granted you told me very little in those 150 words but they screamed that this is the wrong guy to spend the rest of your life with. If you are worried now, then how will you feel after 2 more years?

Probably not the answer you wanted to hear but I must be honest. Compatibility is super important. Chemistry arrives on day one, and a woman should know that her guy is the right man to spend the rest of her life with soon thereafter.

How to Know if you Found the Right Guy?

I find many women just don’t want to let a guy go because they feel their man is such a great catch and they might not be able to find a better man. They don’t want some other woman to have him.

That’s not good enough.

That leads to a divorce and misery in, say, three years. Chemistry comes naturally and can’t be “fixed.” Sure, he could grow on you, but don’t you think he should have by now?

I would prefer that the sex be just fair – that is something that can be improved upon, compatibility less so.

Dig deep Ming. Really think things through and ask yourself, “Is he right for me?” before you walk down the aisle. There is no rush. I would highly recommend that you take some time out from this relationship and seek clarity from the outside looking in. If you do, I bet your situation will become clearer.

Is He Right for Me? Ask Yourself these 4 Questions:

Do You Share Core Beliefs?

Opposites do attract – but not too opposite. A guy is right for you if the important stuff aligns. If you believe that giving back to society is important and you spend hours per week doing it, then volunteering is something you strongly believe in.

Just met him and you think he could be the one? Learn How to Ask a Guy Out HERE!

I highly doubt you would consider dating a man who thinks your volunteer time is money, that could be spent on the two of you purchasing material items.

Are You a Team?

A team is synchronized. For example, you say something, and he finishes your statement. Or you may say the same things or do similar actions at the exact same time.

My girlfriend and I camp a lot. We both love it and you can see it from the moment we start to pack. She handles the food and all the sleeping stuff. I handle the gear and loading the truck. We are a fine-tuned machine.

We are a team.

No communication is necessary while we get ready. Yes, we laugh and have fun while packing but there is never any arguing over what needs to be done.

Are Disagreements Handled with Respect?

Is He Right For Me?

He is not right for you if this is how you argue!

You know he is right for you by how you handle disagreements. Each side listens to the other and realizes that they could be wrong. They want to hear the other’s opinion and come to a compromise.

Do You Call Each Other Out in Public?

I remember being out with my buddy Glen and his wife. Glen was a bit upset at our waiter for delivering our food cold. Glen’s wife ripped Glen in front of everyone. Even other patrons heard her.

Although Glen could have handled the situation better, Glen’s wife was totally out of line for shaming him in front of everyone. That should have been handled privately.

They are divorced today.

Is He Right for Me? Wrapping Up

Hopefully, Ming’s letter, my answer, and the 4 questions I asked you will answer your question, Is He Right for Me?

5 Rules To Follow on Your Journey to Catch Mr. Right

5 Rules To Follow on Your Journey to Catch Mr. Right

How to Know if You Found the Right Guy?

In To Date a Man, You Must Understand A Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy, Gregg says, “Cast a net off your boat and fill your bucket with men. Then throw back the losers and keep a few in your koi pond.” So how do you know if you should reel him in or cast him overboard?

It’s Tiffany today to remind you that you are the CHOOSER! It’s all up to you to decide whether or not he’s a keeper. And it’s not that hard to figure out, once you have the right gear. I’m not talking fishing poles and actual nets, but solid tools and rules to follow on your journey to catch Mr. Right.

Write It Down

So, you’ve been on a few dates and you have him firmly in your net. Before you go any farther, stop and write down at least ten sentences that detail exactly how you want to be treated by a guy.

Do you want a man who puts you first? Someone who makes you laugh? Someone respectful? Thoughtful? Romantic? Once you have a solid ten, narrow it down to a good three to five items that are non-negotiable.

Now promise yourself you will not fall for the guy unless he proves — consistently, through his actions — that he is the quality man you are looking for. No exceptions. If he doesn’t realistically meet your standards, cast him overboard.

Take A Step Back

When we are really into someone, we tend to view everything with blinders on. It’s hard to assess the relationship clearly when we only see the good. But is he truly a decent guy?

Or is he just hot, without any real substance? In Who Holds The Cards Now? 5 Lethal Steps to Win His Heart and Get Him to Commit, Gregg Michaelsen advises us to slow down and take a step back to discover his true worth.

This is especially important before sex gets in the way, and clouds our minds even more. Remember, YOU hold the cards. Keep it in lock-down mode until you are sure he is a man of value.

Have Your Friends Meet Him

You may have blinders on, but your friends surely don’t! Good girlfriends have your back, and can help you see if he’s the real deal, or just a blowfish. Try not to get defensive when they give you their unbiased opinion.

Listen to what they have to say and trust that they want what’s best for you. If the guy isn’t all that, they can help you give him the heave ho. Cast him overboard. But if they think you found the right guy, reel him in!

Is He Mr. Right?

Meet His Friends

This can be a real game changer. If he doesn’t want you to meet his buddies, there is something wrong. Cast him overboard. If he wants you to meet his buddies, and wants to show you off — great! Take this time to find out what they have to say about your man.

Do they respect him? Is he a reliable, stand up guy? Or is he a girl chaser? Is he a slob? Also pay attention to how your man behaves in this situation. Is he attentive to you? Is he confident and relaxed? Does he put you first? Or is he always siding with the guys? Is he nervous? Insecure? Clingy? Is he crudely checking out other girls? Is he an obnoxious drunk?

Does his personality change in a negative way when he’s with his crew? Remember, if his friends are immature, or if they are all players, chances are he is too. If you find that’s the case, get rid of him — fast!

Follow Your Intuition

Does he make excuses all the time? Does he fail to step up when you need him? Is he too busy to meet your family and friends? Is he controlling? Self-centered? Rude? These are all red flags!

Whatever the behavior may be, if it gives you those uneasy vibes, it’s wrong! When in doubt, follow your intuition. We women are famous for it, so use it — and lose him. Cast him overboard!

On your way to “The One,” you are bound to catch a few bad fish. But remember, there are plenty of men in the sea, so keep casting your net and reel in the good ones! Who knows, you might just score the catch of a lifetime!

Hi, I’m Tiffany — the new girl! Gregg has summoned my powers to help his blog grow by leaps and bounds. Gregg, Kirbie and I will help bring you the complete gamut of ideas, solutions and issues we all face in the name of love.

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