4 Ways to Bring Out the Hero Instinct in a Man

Unlock the Hero Instinct in Men

The hero instinct in men is something you may dismiss as silly or unimportant, but it’s an essential aspect of your relationship.

Allow me to explain.

Men Show Love in Different Ways

Before we dip into the hero instinct in men, we need to get on the same page about men and how they show love.

While a woman waits, sometimes impatiently, for a man to say I love you, she misses the signs that he loves her. Many breakups occur because of this very fundamental misunderstanding.

A man shows his love by doing and fixing things for you. He mows the lawn before your big birthday party with your friends. He repairs the leak under your sink. Your car maintenance is taken care of. He builds the shelves you want in your office.

Those are signs of love.

So is being your hero.

As children, we all have a hero. For boys, it’s often a superhero like Batman, The Hulk, or a sports figure like my hero, Bobby Orr. Girls might view Wonder Woman as a superhero or another woman like Maya Angelou, Mia Hamm, or Oprah.

Even though we grow up, men still long to be a hero in their life. They fantasize about being heroes in their everyday lives, saving an older adult from an attacker or swooping in to save the world from terrorism. Okay, maybe a regular guy like me isn’t going to save the world from terrorism, but a guy can dream.

And we do dream of being your hero. It makes me feel great when my girlfriend treats me as her hero, adding to my attraction to her.

You’re a strong woman who doesn’t need a hero, but your guy still needs to be your hero. You want to give him everything and ask him for little in return. You want to take care of him. But this usually attracts players, not heroes.

hero instinct

Trigger the Hero Instinct in Men to Find Your Perfect Man

Compliment Him

Everyone loves to be complimented when they’ve done something, even men when they’ve done something extraordinary, even men. But it’s essential to deliver a meaningful compliment, not just an off-hand compliment.

If you compliment a carpenter on his excellent woodworking skills, he’ll think, “Eh. I hear that all the time.” But if you tell him how you admire how considerate he is to people he meets, you just triggered his hero instinct.

The caution to this tool, and the others you learn on this site, is to use them sparingly. A compliment every day loses its value, just like complimenting a carpenter on his woodworking skills. Something said too often has little positive impact.

Compliment him in areas of his life where he’s less likely to receive them from others, and they will be more meaningful, mainly because you’re the only one saying them.

Challenge Him

Superman doesn’t just show up for every disaster. He shows up when nobody else can save the world from evil. Your job is to trigger this in him, but maybe less dramatically.

Challenge him to a game of racquetball or a bowling match. Have a race at the grocery store to see who can get all the items on their list first. See who can ski to the bottom of the hill first without falling.

Help him put on his cape and defeat the enemy.

Ask for Help

There is no shame in asking for help. I know that women are viewed as strong and independent in today’s culture, and I’m all for it. But your guy wants to help you. Remember, it’s how he shows his love for you.

So when you dismiss his offers for help, you’re not allowing him to show his love for you. I beg you, for the sake of Gotham City, ask him for help!

Men like to fix things, move things, maintain things and even pick up the dog pooh. No, it isn’t as romantic as bringing you flowers or chocolate, but it’s how men protect and save you from the evil world outside.

Ask him for help from time to time. Unless he really is all thumbs, encourage him to replace the pipe under your sink. Enlist his help in painting the bedroom before your parents come to stay.

Just don’t forget to compliment him on a job well done too!

hero instinct in men

Hero Instinct – Make Him Work for You

Nothing worth having comes without a fight. Those are important words and apply not just to material things but to relationships.

If you’re too easy to get, a man will quickly lose interest in you. Make him fight for you.


Don’t be available for every date request he throws out there, especially if it’s last minute. But, when you decline his invitation, suggest another.

“I’m sorry, Dan, I can’t go to dinner with you tonight, but I was thinking about hiking this Saturday. Would you like to join me?”

“No, I’m sorry, Steve, but I’m not available for a movie tonight. I have Yoga. Can we move it to Tuesday?”

There are other things you can do to make him work for you:

  • Break your routine – when he zigs, you zag!
  • Change your look; who doesn’t love a new hairstyle?
  • Stay positive even when the world around you is constantly in misery.
  • Be open to all ideas and be open to trying new things
  • Thrive outside your comfort zone
  • Take on new hobbies and adventures, so you always have stories to tell!

The Hero Instinct in Men

Now that you better understand the hero instinct in men use it to your advantage. Your confidence shines through when you do the things you just learned, and great men love confident women.

A man who doesn’t feel he’s your hero will begin to look for a new woman eventually, and that’s unfortunate because encouraging his hero instinct is so easy.

Relationships without the hero instinct fail more often than not. Don’t become part of that statistic!

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It's how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!

Pin It on Pinterest