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My Funny Story About Reaching a Goal

My Funny Story About Reaching a Goal

Understand Men

Reaching a goal can be motivated by the funniest things! My story begins with an email from a woman who has been checking out my website.

“Why should I listen to you about setting goals and working out? You’re fat and ugly!” We’ll call this woman Jill. 

I don’t think she had read any of my books. But she seemed compelled to write me and tell me I was fat. I contacted her back after my assistant Kirbie warned me not to. I understood her deeper problem. When someone is that ugly to you, they don’t feel very good about themselves.

I couldn’t help but write back, despite the warning. I’m not thin or fat but am in excellent shape from doing P90X. In my reply, I said I couldn’t do anything about my looks, but I could prove that I was in very good shape. I told her I’d send her a video of me doing 25 chin-ups, followed by 50 pushups. That’s not easy for a 50+-year-old guy! That’s not easy for an 18-year-old guy!

To Jill’s credit, she emailed me back saying that I was brave to email her, but just because I could do those exercises didn’t mean I wasn’t still fat. She didn’t mention my ugliness!! That was the end of our email exchange.

But she got me thinking. I should be thinner. I’m five foot nine, and my weight should be 170 lbs, but I was 196. I have big arms and shoulders, but I had a little paunch.

So, you know what? I decided Jill was right! 

Here is where it gets good! I want to use my story to help you because many of us have difficulty losing weight and taking criticism. I set to work reaching a goal.

reaching a goal

Setting and Reaching a Goal

My goal was to lose twenty-five lbs in two months. I entered my boal into my system:

Plan: Lose twenty-five lbs. in two months!
How? Nutrisystem. My Mom used it with success, and I don’t have to cook
Why? My knee is killing me, and this should help. Plus, I want to look better and lose the gut. I will have more energy and ripped abs when I hit Florida!
When: Start Jan.15th when my food arrives and weigh 170 by March 15th
Affirmation: “It feels great to be 170 lbs. again!”

I have a few more steps, but you get the gist.

BAM! I still weigh 168 this morning!

But, what’s your point, Gregg?

Don’t Get Angry, Get Motivated!

My point is this: Instead of being hurt by what someone says, use their words as motivation to improve yourself!

I could have gotten angry and upset at Jill, but I chose not to. Confident people take negative energy, turn it positive, and use it for their gain. The ultimate way of getting even is to show the world, or Jill, in my case, their words motivate you, and then do it!

The more negative stuff I hear, the better!!

  • People told me not to open my own construction business. DONE√
  • Others laughed when I decided to pursue being a dating coach. DONE√
  • They laughed at me for writing books to help people date. DONE√
  • Jill said I was fat. DONE√
  • Gregg, you will never camp out on Mars (Ok, this could be more difficult)

This afternoon I am working on my ugliness…I put a bag over my head and emailed Jill…hahaha!

So if I can do it, so can you!!

Oh, I almost forgot…thank you, Jill.

Workouts for Women at Home

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way! 

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!

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5 Rules To Follow on Your Journey to Catch Mr. Right

5 Rules To Follow on Your Journey to Catch Mr. Right

Build Confidence, Date Great Men

How to Know if You Found the Right Guy?

In To Date a Man, You Must Understand A Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy, Gregg says, “Cast a net off your boat and fill your bucket with men. Then throw back the losers and keep a few in your koi pond.” So how do you know if you should reel him in or cast him overboard?

It’s Tiffany today to remind you that you are the CHOOSER! It’s all up to you to decide whether or not he’s a keeper. And it’s not that hard to figure out, once you have the right gear. I’m not talking fishing poles and actual nets, but solid tools and rules to follow on your journey to catch Mr. Right.

Write It Down

So, you’ve been on a few dates and you have him firmly in your net. Before you go any farther, stop and write down at least ten sentences that detail exactly how you want to be treated by a guy.

Do you want a man who puts you first? Someone who makes you laugh? Someone respectful? Thoughtful? Romantic? Once you have a solid ten, narrow it down to a good three to five items that are non-negotiable.

Now promise yourself you will not fall for the guy unless he proves — consistently, through his actions — that he is the quality man you are looking for. No exceptions. If he doesn’t realistically meet your standards, cast him overboard.

Take A Step Back

When we are really into someone, we tend to view everything with blinders on. It’s hard to assess the relationship clearly when we only see the good. But is he truly a decent guy?

Or is he just hot, without any real substance? In Who Holds The Cards Now? 5 Lethal Steps to Win His Heart and Get Him to Commit, Gregg Michaelsen advises us to slow down and take a step back to discover his true worth.

This is especially important before sex gets in the way, and clouds our minds even more. Remember, YOU hold the cards. Keep it in lock-down mode until you are sure he is a man of value.

Have Your Friends Meet Him

You may have blinders on, but your friends surely don’t! Good girlfriends have your back, and can help you see if he’s the real deal, or just a blowfish. Try not to get defensive when they give you their unbiased opinion.

Listen to what they have to say and trust that they want what’s best for you. If the guy isn’t all that, they can help you give him the heave ho. Cast him overboard. But if they think you found the right guy, reel him in!

Is He Mr. Right?

Meet His Friends

This can be a real game changer. If he doesn’t want you to meet his buddies, there is something wrong. Cast him overboard. If he wants you to meet his buddies, and wants to show you off — great! Take this time to find out what they have to say about your man.

Do they respect him? Is he a reliable, stand up guy? Or is he a girl chaser? Is he a slob? Also pay attention to how your man behaves in this situation. Is he attentive to you? Is he confident and relaxed? Does he put you first? Or is he always siding with the guys? Is he nervous? Insecure? Clingy? Is he crudely checking out other girls? Is he an obnoxious drunk?

Does his personality change in a negative way when he’s with his crew? Remember, if his friends are immature, or if they are all players, chances are he is too. If you find that’s the case, get rid of him — fast!

Follow Your Intuition

Does he make excuses all the time? Does he fail to step up when you need him? Is he too busy to meet your family and friends? Is he controlling? Self-centered? Rude? These are all red flags!

Whatever the behavior may be, if it gives you those uneasy vibes, it’s wrong! When in doubt, follow your intuition. We women are famous for it, so use it — and lose him. Cast him overboard!

On your way to “The One,” you are bound to catch a few bad fish. But remember, there are plenty of men in the sea, so keep casting your net and reel in the good ones! Who knows, you might just score the catch of a lifetime!

Hi, I’m Tiffany — the new girl! Gregg has summoned my powers to help his blog grow by leaps and bounds. Gregg, Kirbie and I will help bring you the complete gamut of ideas, solutions and issues we all face in the name of love.
Getting into that “Little Black Dress” – aka DIET is a 4 Letter Word

Getting into that “Little Black Dress” – aka DIET is a 4 Letter Word

Build Confidence

Hi ladies, Kirbie again. Gregg has been a writing fool – and I can tell you, after just finishing my first reading of his new book, that you’re gonna LOVE it!!! I was hooked right off the bat! It made me think, chuckle and have hope.

Now, for the topic at hand. As I was reading Gregg’s new book, a peeve topic came up – DIETing. Why is this a peeve topic? Because I hate the word DIET. Gregg and I work very well together because, in many instances, we come from the same ‘place’.

I hold workshops sometimes, and they focus on things like leadership and personal development. In one workshop on goal setting, I was explaining why people don’t often achieve their goals, and one man asked, “Is this why people often fail at dieting?”. Well, I smiled, took a deep breath and said “No, but since you asked, let me give you my take on dieting.”

You didn’t ask, but here it is anyway.

D-I-E-T is a four letter word – no denying that, right? Diet is also a word that we think of as a temporary activity to lose weight. Diet, as defined by Mirriam-Webster, however, goes something like this:

a: food and drink regularly provided;

b: habitual nourishment;

c: the kind and amount of food prescribed for a personal or animal for a special reason;

d: a regimen of eating and drinking sparingly so as to reduce one’s weight;

If we follow the real definition of diet, then, it just means eating. The trick to losing weight is to change up what and how you eat – not temporarily – permanently. Several years ago, I went from being a carnivore to being a vegetarian. I really didn’t like meat so why eat it? It wasn’t some animal rights decision or anything like that – just a preference. About 18 months ago, I was forced to begin eating vegan due to allergies. The result? About 20 lbs gone. Why? I changed how I was eating.

Once you switch to eating more fruits and vegetables instead of cakes, breads, high-fat meats and dairy products, your body starts burning up all of the fat you had stored away. Another benefit I discovered was that I got sick less often, and when I do get sick, it’s not usually as bad.

The point of that is this – in order to get into your little black dress, or your regular-sized black dress, which is more reasonable for someone my age, you are going to need to change how and what you eat.

How to ‘Git ‘er Done’

Eat smaller portions – did you know you should only eat a piece of meat that is the size of a deck of cards? When was the last time you did that? Did you also know that something like 3/4 of your plate should be grains & veggies, with a small portion being meat or protein? Eight ounces of milk is a serving, not the whole 12-15 ounce glass.

I highly recommend joining Weight Watchers, even for just a month. They will teach you portion control and they will do it fast! This program runs on a point system – not denial. You can have that 16 ounce steak or that big hunk of chocolate cake, but it’s gonna cost you about 2/3 of your WEEKLY allotment of ‘points’, leaving you with very few options for the remainder of the week. I’m now very mindful about reading labels – how many shrimp are in a serving? WOW only 6 and I once ate 10?

Of course, it goes without saying that you can lose weight by changing how you eat, but don’t forget the exercise component. I’m not going to drag on about it here, mostly because I’m not a traditional exercise type of person – too many artificial and ‘shored up’ joints. Instead, I like to do things like taking walks in the early morning after it has snowed or, like today, shoveling my driveway or running around the house chasing my granddaughters like a monster.

Think about it this way- when was the last time you heard someone say “Yeah I’ve been doing Adkins now for 10 years and I feel great!” More likely, they tried it for a couple of weeks and blammo, they got sick of eating that way and gave up, yo-yo’d back to their original weight, or worse – higher, and maybe tried another ‘fad’ diet only to have the same results.

Set a goal today to begin eating better. No vow to start another diet or anything like that, just get healthy. Oh and one final thing – when you DO fall off of the wagon for a day, don’t beat yourself up. It’s over and done with, you know it won’t contribute to your goal of 10 more pounds, but stop beating yourself up over it – you ate it, move on.

 

Confidence for Women – Build Yourself and He Will Come

Confidence for Women – Build Yourself and He Will Come

Build Confidence

Confidence for women is something you might not even be aware of as an important issue in your life. If you’re lucky, you were raised by confident parents who instilled a sense of independence and confidence in you from a young age. Unfortunately, most people don’t get that kind of childhood.

So how do you build your confidence? I’m so happy you’ve asked!

confidence for women

Confidence for Women – Practice Self-Compassion

Use Kinder Words

While most of us would never dream of saying something mean to a friend or family member, we have no trouble saying mean things to ourselves.

It’s time to listen to what you’re saying to yourself. Even things that seem harmless, like “I’m so clumsy” add up over time.

Instead of finding fault with yourself time and time again, be kind. Listen to all of those negative things and stop saying them. Write them down and figure out something you can say to yourself that’s kinder.

Practice Self-Care

Along with being kinder to yourself with your words, practice self-care. This is something that is finally gaining some ground with both men and women and I’m so happy about that.

Why You Need Self-Care Sunday

How does self-care help you build confidence?

It shows that you value yourself enough to take care of yourself. Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted doesn’t make life fun. It makes it drag and feel like everything is insurmountable. When your recognize that you’re worth taking care of, your confidence grows.

Take Care of Yourself

Along with practicing self-care, you need to take care of yourself in other ways, like getting into a good workout habit, getting plenty of rest, and eating healthier. Each of these three things contributes to a healthier life.

Work Out

A workout routine doesn’t need to be a three-hour trip the gym five days a week. It can be as simple as a twenty or thirty minute walk most days of the week. People hate to hear the word workout, but make it what works best for you. Throughout my life, I’ve fit workouts into different places. Now that I’m an old retired guy, my workout is walking along the beach each morning. When I was still living in Boston, though, it was the P90X workout.

Get Plenty of Rest

Sleep is also something people don’t give enough thought to. Everyone works so hard and for so long every day that sleep is almost incidental. While there’s no right answer to how much sleep should you get, there is an amount that works best for you. You probably even know what it is. You know when you get seven or eight hours of sleep, you feel better rested and able to tackle the day.

Track your sleep for a couple of weeks and note when you feel the most rested. Once you know how much sleep works for you, aim for getting that much sleep every night.

Adopt a Healthier Lifestyle

And lastly, eating healthy is something we should all do. I read a recent study that indicates a new type of diabetes – Type 3. At this time, Type 3 diabetes is an unofficial term for a link between Alzheimer’s disease and some aspects of Types 1 and 2 diabetes. One of the risk factors for Type 3 diabetes is excess body weight.

I don’t know about you, but that’s reason enough for me to keep myself in shape! Being overweight poses other risks to your body, puts stress on your heart, and makes it more challenging to do activities you want to do.

confidence for women

Confidence for Women  – Be a Learner

I love to learn, whether it’s a new skill or just a fun fact about someone or something. Growing your skillset, regardless of what aspect of your life it’s in, will build your confidence.

It might be past time for a definition of confidence, so let’s do that now.

Confidence is your belief in your ability to do something.

Now, you can see how developing a skill, or learning a new skill will help you build your confidence.

The better at something you become, the more confident you are in your ability to do that thing, but it also transfers to your overall confidence level.

Additionally, it shows you that you can grow and become better at something, which gives you more courage to try more new things. It just builds upon itself and keeps growing and growing!

Of course, I haven’t even mentioned how much fun it is too.

Build Confidence by Starting with Small, Achievable Goals

Create your life plan today.

As you set and achieve smaller goals, you also build your confidence. It’s like learning new things. Once you see that you can master something, you feel more confident to try something else.

Once you see that you can reach a small goal, you’re more likely to try to reach bigger goals, each one growing your confidence a little more.

Smaller goals will build your confidence in small ways, and that’s still good. Larger goals achieved grow your confidence in an even larger way. By achieving a few smaller ones, you aren’t waiting months and months for the reward of achieving the goal.

My funny story about reaching a goal

Confidence for Women – Hang Out with Confident Women

It might be time to assess your friend list. We tend to draw people to us who are most like us, so if your confidence has been low for a while, your friends may also lack confidence. When you all go out together, it might go something like this.

You meet for girls’ night at a local hangout. Immediately, someone starts talking negatively about either a friend who isn’t there or a woman you don’t know who’s also at the venue. Who she is doesn’t matter.

This type of behavior breeds more bad behavior and gossiping. The problem is that this type of behavior shows a lack of confidence and also often highlights what each person feels is inadequate or ‘wrong’ with their own bodies or lives.

Someone who picks on another person because they’re overweight often feels they’re overweight too. If you choose to pick on her clothing, you don’t feel comfortable in your own. It isn’t always true but pay attention to how you and your friends act around one another, as well as what you find wrong with other people.

As you work on building your confidence, work on finding friends who will support you, regardless of where you are in your journey. Maybe one or two of your current friends do this now. They’re keepers.

Don’t hang out with people who spend more time gossiping than they do working on their own lives. Definitely don’t hang out with someone who don’t support you in your life. Good friends cheer you on and build you up.

confidence for women

Build Your Confidence with Mindfulness

When you’re mindful, you’re living in this moment right here. While you’re reading, you’re just reading, you aren’t also watching television, listening to the radio, or thinking about what you need to do next.

Live in each moment. Don’t look back and don’t look forward. You can’t change the past so there’s no point in reliving it.

When you stay present in this moment, you avoid experiencing stress and anxiety, both of which are caused by living in the past or future.

Take some time and just sit. What do you smell? What do you see? What do you hear? Enjoy each one. Notice your surroundings. How do the surroundings make you feel? I could argue that this is a form of self-care, which is a bonus!

Try to focus less on worrying about things that have already happened or things that might happen. Those thoughts steal your joy and push you into regret and anxiety. They do you no good.

Confidence for Women – Walk the Walk

Anyone who understands confidence can spot someone with low confidence right away. I was recently in a local retail shop and needed to speak to the person at the register. He never once looked me in the eyes, telling me he lacked confidence.

Some other signals of low confidence include:

  • Hair covering your eyes or wearing dark glasses
  • Slouched shoulders
  • Shying away from conversations
  • Arms folded across your body
  • Speaking critically of yourself
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • An undying effort to be perfect all of the time
  • Trouble accepting compliments

Even if you don’t feel confident yet, try to walk tall without hiding your eyes. Make eye contact, even if just for a moment, with people you walk by. Flash a smile for bonus points. Also, be more aware of your body language. When you catch yourself crossing your arms, just gently allow them to fall to your sides.

This is how confident men and losers decide who they’ll approach in a bar. The loser will approach the woman who’s sitting a little away from her friends or isn’t engaged in their conversation. The confident man will approach the woman who’s laughing and having a great time, totally engaged with her friends.

Dress Confidently to Be More Confident

How you dress tells people, in particular men, a lot about you. I remember being out with a few friends a couple of years ago. I watched a woman in her fifties walk into the restaurant and immediately knew she had low confidence. How?

She was wearing an outfit that was entirely too revealing. Her cleavage was very exposed and her dress was entirely too tight, and short. I later saw her with her date, and I could gather from the conversation I heard when walking by that it was a first date, probably an online find.

Men like mystery. If you’re showing off your body, you’re leaving nothing to their imagination. On top of that, it tells a man that you don’t believe you have any attributes to hold his attention aside from your looks. It also, falsely or not, may send a signal that you’re open to sex on a first date, which is also a sign of low confidence.

Be Confident in Who You Truly Are

How are you living your life right now? Is this the life you dreamed of, or is this the life someone else thought up for you? Are you afraid that if you be yourself, people won’t like you?

I can guarantee that if you can figure out who you really want to be and you can start living like you’re that woman, people will be drawn to you.

With social media as predominant as it is now, being genuine has gained some traction. People don’t want to deal with those who feel the need to be fake. They want the real deal and they’ve learned how to sniff out the fakes.

Outside of that, why wouldn’t you want to be yourself? Wear the clothing you like. Enjoy the job you really want to do. Live in the surroundings that make you happy. If you don’t like something, work on replacing it.

When you work to be someone you think people will like instead of being yourself, you’re the one who suffers the most. You’re depriving people who love you, or could love you if they knew you, of the wonderful woman inside!

Confident women aren’t fake. Their attitude is love it or leave it. It’s someone else’s loss if they don’t want to hang out with you, not yours!

Confidence for Women – Chase Your Passions

What lights you up? What energizes you and makes you want to act? Life without passion is flat and unexciting. If you don’t have something you’re passionate about now, it’s time to find something!

When you’re passionate, you can’t be weak. The two cannot co-exist. Not to mention that people sense your passion, and they want to come along with you, wherever you’re going. My assistant encouraged me for several years to do videos. She said I was so passionate and that I should show you that passion, so you’d know how much I want to help you.

She was right. After I did the first couple of videos and got the hang of it, I loved it. And she’s right, I love talking about the topics I choose to speak with you about. I get energy when the two of us brainstorm a new book or a new idea for you. I have passion!

To find your passion, try different hobbies. Volunteer for different causes. Get involved in charities. Look for local groups that are doing things you’re interested in. You’ll find it if you try!

confidence for women

Take Charge to Feel More Confident

Who’s running your life these days? You might think it’s you, but is it? Or do you live in a way in which others will accept you. In other words, do you do things because you think others will like you if you do, or do you do them because you want to?

When you don’t feel very confident, there’s a tendency to make choices that you think others will find acceptable. You may choose trendy clothing, even though you’d rather be wearing something else.

You might get the current haircut style, even though you prefer your hair to be longer or shorter. You may even live in an area you don’t particularly like because it’s the place to live, never mind that it costs a lot and you can barely afford it.

Being confident means not caring what other people think. You’re being your genuine self. People need to either like you for who you are or not, and if they don’t, it’s their loss, not yours.

Acceptance is something we all strive for, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of who you truly are inside.

So, it’s time to take charge of your life and decide what hairstyle compliments your features, what hair color you like, where you want to live, and what you want to wear. Work at the job you want to have, not one that everyone thinks is awesome.

Take charge!

Growing Confidence for Women by Building Others Up

When you focus your energy on building others up, it helps you as well. Confident women want others to succeed too. A confident leader will be sure to lift up her employees. A confident parent will lift up her children. A confident employee will help her coworkers.

How can you do this?

Offer Encouragement

Encourage someone to reach a goal or even set goals. Ask someone if they need help, or if you see they do, just step up and do what needs to be done. Some folks are afraid to ask for help, but grateful to receive it.

Share Knowledge

Kindly sharing what you know with others is a great way to encourage, as long as it’s done in a helpful and compassionate way. Help a child learn a new skill, or help a coworker learn a new aspect of their job.

Be Supportive

People often hide what they’re going through, but if you know someone well enough, you can see when your support might be helpful. If someone comes to you with a problem or concern, be a great listener and offer that encouragement where they need it most.

Forgive

People think that if they forgive someone for something they did that it makes what happened okay. The truth is that forgiveness is for you. A confident woman doesn’t hold grudges and she doesn’t give other people space in her head. When you forgive someone, you aren’t saying that what they did was okay. You’re saying you are a big enough person to forgive them. In fact, you don’t even need to tell the other person that they’re forgiven. Just say it to yourself.

Institute a Zero Gossip Rule

Gossip is for people with low confidence. Finding fault with others means you’re ignoring the things that need to be repaired in your own life. Aside from that, gossip is catty behavior and beyond that of a confident woman. When you’re confident, you don’t want to spend time criticizing others because you’re too busy living your life. Gossip isn’t building up, it’s tearing down.

Give

Giving to others is a great way to build someone up. Whether you give a financial donation, the gift of your time or energy, or something someone needs, like groceries or furniture you aren’t using, giving makes everyone feel good. Giving is a selfless act that shows empathy and encourages others in their time of need.

Confidence for Women – Do Things Alone

I wish I knew where the stigma of being alone came from because I’d wipe it out at the root. There is nothing wrong with going out to dinner by yourself or going to a movie alone. Who cares what other people think? You’ll never see those people again anyway. The first time you do it, it might feel a little intimidating, but just facing that will help you build confidence. Get comfortable doing things alone and you’ll feel much better!

Admit it When You Just Don’t Know Something

It’s okay not to know something. It’s the sign of confidence when you’re able to admit you don’t know something and are willing to ask for help.

Many feel it’s a sign of weakness, and even fear they’ll lose their job if they don’t know how to do something, but your boss will respect you more if you admit you don’t know and ask for assistance.

That’s a Wrap on Confidence for Women

The truth is that confidence doesn’t grow without effort on your part. It’s also true that if your confidence is really low, you might need to seek professional help to get the ball rolling.

There’s no shame in it and quite frankly, these steps might be more than you can handle right now. They’re tools to put into your toolbox, but if you find them difficult or insurmountable even, seek professional help.

Confidence improves all areas of your life. The changes you’ll experience are amazing, but you must do the work. It isn’t something you can work on today, then skip a few days. Each day, doing something to grow your confidence will help you get where you want to be.

I know that sounds like a lot, but really, some of the things I’ve shared with you above are things that might take a few minutes each day, not hours. Knowing that you need to build your confidence is a great first step.

Consider getting a journal so you can write every day about your journey. In six months, if you’ve been working on these things by yourself or with a professional, you should see a profound difference.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Be sure to check out the resources you’ll find on this page for more help!

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way! 

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!

BUY NOW IN THE US
BUY NOW IN THE UK
BUY NOW AUDIBLE
Create a Life Plan and Life Your Best Life

Create a Life Plan and Life Your Best Life

Build Confidence

Consider this as we talk about how to create a life plan: most people spend more time planning a vacation than they do planning their lives. In fact, I believe it’s fair to say that many people don’t give having a life plan even one second of thought.

Most folks are actually wandering aimlessly through their lives, hoping for a bright future, wanting to plan that great vacation, wishing they had a better car or lived in a better part of town, but they don’t have a plan on how to realize those dreams.

Before we talk about how to create a life plan, let’s dig a little further into why you need one.

create a life plan

Why Do You Need to Create a Life Plan?

Create a Life Plan to Prioritize

When you wake up every morning, do you have a list of priorities for the day? Your boss probably has a list for you. Your children might need things from you that day, and your partner might need you to do a few things for him a well.

But what about you? What are your priorities for the day?

When you create a life plan, you know what’s important every day. All you need to do is refer to your plan to know what you should be doing.

Having a Life Plan Helps You Say “No”

Saying “No” is so difficult for many people, and it seems like demands on your time and energy are non-stop. You can’t prioritize anything for yourself because you have no time for yourself. You’re always doing for someone else.

Allow me to suggest this: being unable to say no is often an indicator of insecurity and low confidence. You’re afraid that if you say “No” to someone, they won’t be your friend anymore. They won’t love you anymore.

When you create a life plan, you have your own things that are important to you, and you can prioritize things properly. Maybe it is more important to take your child to the doctor than to take that class on creative writing. That’s okay. Learning to say “No” doesn’t mean you always say “No”. It just means you are able to weigh the request against your own priorities and decide based on that versus fear of losing a friend.

Create a Life Plan for a Better Future

This seems obvious I suppose. When you create a life plan, you’re thinking about your desired future. You envision that new car you want, the neighborhood you’d like to live in, the job you want.

When you have a life plan, you recognize where you are today so you know what steps you need to take to get where you want to be.

Imagine you want to take a trip across the country. What’s the first thing you do? You get a map, right? So you can chart your course. You plan.

Creating a life plan is the same thing. You’re creating a map of your life – you’re charting the course.

Develop a Sense of Balance with a Life Plan

Many people lack a balance between their work life and their personal life. They work far too many hours and spend little time with friends and family, all in an effort to get ahead.

The problem is that if you’re working without a plan, you may as well be playing one of those match-three games on your iPad. The result will be the same. Time wasted on something that got you nowhere.

When you have a life plan, your time is more mindfully allocated to things that are part of your plan. For example, if part of your plan is to develop a wonderful relationship with a loving man, and another part is to advance your career, you can allocate the appropriate amount of time to each because you now understand the value of both things in your life.

A life plan establishes priorities and priorities enable you to allocate your time.

CREATE YOUR LIFE PLAN

To help you get your life plan moving along, I’ve created a workbook that’s FREE for you to download TODAY! There are more than 30 pages to help you think though your life plan so your next year can be the best ever!

Start Today!

Create a Life Plan to Recognize Where You Are Today

Many people don’t want to create a life plan because they don’t want to take an honest look at their lives as they currently are.

Nobody wants to look at their finances to see that they owe thousands in unpaid bills. Nobody wants to see that they’re fifty pounds overweight or that their career has been stuck in the same place for years.

And yet, in order to get somewhere new, you need to know where you’re starting out.

If we go back to the trip across the country (and ignore tools like Waze and Google Maps for a moment), imagine taking that trip without knowing exactly where you are on the map today. Maybe you started out yesterday and got lost and now you don’t know where you are. How can you chart your course without knowing where you are right now?

You can’t.

Life Plans Eliminate Regret

I think many people have heard of the book written by a nurse who worked with dying people. She asked them what they regretted and many of them said opportunities missed, or things they didn’t do.

You don’t want to be one of those people who reaches their 80’s or 90’s still holding onto a list of things you wish you’d done. Having regrets brings about a sense of disappointment and discouragement. You start wishing you were younger so you could go back and do life differently.

Instead of having those regrets, why not change things now? Even if you’re in your 60’s, it’s not too late to change course and create a plan. Who knows, you could live into your 100’s. That means you’ve got 40 years left!

create a life plan

When You Create a Life Plan, You Have That Roadmap

Now let’s imagine that you want to drive from New York City to Sacramento. In fact, let’s say you want to drive from the Upper West Side of New York City to Sacramento. THAT is something you can map out.

With a life plan, you can look at your life today, maybe as a server in a restaurant for example, and see that in order to own your own restaurant, you need to take some important steps.

You can research what you need to do, be, and have to own a restaurant. You can create a plan to take classes, get a second job to save money, and any other steps that are required.

Perhaps you’ve been in your job since college, maybe six or seven years, and you’ve come to realize that you hate the career path you’ve chosen and wish you’d gone into something else.

A life plan helps you create the map for that new career. What classes do you need to take? What changes in your lifestyle might you need to make to afford making this massive change? Who can help you?

Having a Life Plan Turns Dreams into Reality

We’ve been tapdancing around this throughout the last few paragraphs, but here it is. How many times do you catch yourself sitting at your desk daydreaming of a different job or a better life?

How many times have you wished for something?

Those are dreams and without creating a life plan, that’s all they’ll ever be. With a life plan, those dreams can become a reality! How awesome would it be to work your dream job? How great would it be to drive the car you’ve always wanted? How cool would it be to feel confident and hopeful instead of disappointed?

And Finally, Having a Plan Creates a Realistic Timeline

People often underestimate the amount of time it will take to reach a goal.

I can lose 30 pounds in a month!

Perhaps if you don’t eat anything for a month you can, but otherwise, this is most likely an unrealistic and unhealthy goal.

I want to get a new job by the end of the year. This is a nice goal, unless it’s December 15. Getting a new job can be very challenging for a variety of reasons, but if you’re unrealistic about what’s involved in the process and how long it will take, you’ll become discouraged and disappointed way too soon.

I want to get a nursing degree next year. This is a great goal if you’re already in a nursing program and have just a year to go, otherwise, it’s a little unrealistic as nursing school is not a one-year program.

As you read previously, when you create a plan, you acknowledge where you are right now. The next thing you do is decide where you want to be.

I weigh 200 pounds today. I want to weigh 130 pounds.

Now, we’re getting somewhere! You have a beginning and an end. If it were me, I’d research some healthy weight loss goals. Then, I’d research what things will help me reach that goal – probably a healthier diet with smaller portions, more water, less sugar, and exercise of some sort. I might even look into hiring someone to help me, like a personal trainer.

With all of that in hand, I can now create a timeline to lose seventy pounds in a healthy way.

create a life plan

How to Create a Life Plan

Now that you have some ideas as to why you need to create a life plan, we can look at some ways to go about it.

I have created a template for you to use. You can download it here.

Steps Toward Creating Your Life Plan

Start with Where You Are

The first thing to do in creating a life plan is to acknowledge where you are right now. This doesn’t just mean noting how much is in your savings account or what your weight is.

It also means taking a look at what isn’t working for you right now. Where are your pain points, literally or figuratively? What frustrates you? What do you wish was different?

Setting goals around those things can be easier because you may be more motivated to make those areas of your life feel better.

Take an honest look at the key areas of your life and be real about where you are today. Don’t worry yet about where you want to be. Just focus on where you are.

The first activity in the life plan template will help you get started.

Remember, getting real with where your life is isn’t being negative about yourself. It’s about being honest with yourself. If you struggle with this activity right now, get a journal and write about your daily life. Things will rise to the surface.

Uncover Your Values

This is another thing most people don’t give a lot of thought to, and that’s one reason why their lives feel scattered and confused.

Whether you realize it or not,  your values are your compass, and if your life isn’t following those values, things feel out of sorts.

For example, you may value family, but you spend 16 hours a day at work or working at home, leaving little time for your family. Your life isn’t aligning with your values and you aren’t happy.

To determine your values, look back in your life to when you were happiest. What made that time feel so great? Next, look at the times when you were most proud. What was going on? Your next task is to identify the times when you felt the most fulfilled and satisfied. What was going on? Who was around?

Your values can be found in these moments. If you were happiest when you were working on your creative hobbies, you may value creativity.

The next page in the free life plan template will help you with this step.

Define Your Ideal Future

This life plan is about creating your ideal future, so it’s time to think about what that looks like. The template has boxes to help you brainstorm, and then fill in what you want your life to look like six months, one year, three years, and five years in the future.

It might feel a little foggy at first, but if you brainstorm for a few moments, things will come. Don’t judge your thoughts. Write it all down, regardless of how unattainable it might feel right now. You’re just brainstorming, not signing a contract.

CREATE YOUR LIFE PLAN

To help you get your life plan moving along, I’ve created a workbook that’s FREE for you to download TODAY! There are more than 30 pages to help you think though your life plan so your next year can be the best ever!

Start Today!

Call Them Goals Now

You’ve written where you want to be in the future and you know where you are now. If you’ve put this step off, it’s time to complete it. I know it can be scary to take an honest look at your life, but if you want to change, you can’t allow fear to get in your way.

Based on what you’ve written down for where you want to be in six months and beyond, pluck out the goals.

For example, if you want to be in a new job in six months, the goal might be to find a new job. If you want to be in a new career in five years, then the goal may include some education or training.

You don’t need a full plan yet, but it is time to determine what goals you can extract from your ideal future.

As with the previous steps, the life plan template will help.

create a life plan

Turn Them Into SMARTR Goals

What you wrote on your goals page is a great start. You probably wrote things like “weigh less”, “change jobs”, and so on. Those are great, but you need more details so you can create a life plan!

SMARTR goals are similar to SMART goals with an added and important kicker.

S stands for specific. Your goal should be very specific so you know exactly what you’re shooting for.

M stands for measurable. Every goal needs to be measurable so you will know when you’re making progress.

A stands for either attainable or achievable. They mean essentially the same thing. You must feel as if you can actually reach this goal. If you earn minimum wage as a server, a goal of saving $1M in three years might not be attainable.

R stands for relevant. Your goal should light you up. It should mean something to you. It should also align with your values. When you think about your goal, you get excited!

T stands for time-bound. You want to achieve your goal in a set amount of time. Again, this is a way to keep track of your progress.

R stands for rewarded. Many people leave this element out of goal-setting, but it can be a real motivator. In upcoming steps, you’ll create your plan and milestones for longer-term goals. Those milestones should have rewards. They motivate you and keep you excited about your goal. Just be sure the reward doesn’t counteract the goal. For example, any reward that requires you to spend a ton of money on a savings goal probably is not a great idea.

In the next worksheet in the life plan template, make each of your goals SMARTR.

Make a Plan

You’re in the homestretch now! You’ve done a TON of work but it’s about to pay off. You have goals and they’re SMARTR goals, so it’s time to make a plan.

How detailed or extended this plan is depends on the goal and your ideal future. This is the step during which you may adjust your timeline for the first time. As you create a plan, it sometimes becomes obvious that some steps need more time to complete.

For example, if you have a goal to move to a new career in which you have no education or expertise, and you originally stated in your ideal future that you wanted that in three years, you may discover that it will take an extra year to achieve the goal.

That’s okay! Goals should be flexible. Things happen and life sometimes takes you by surprise.

I know a college professor who’s had students with all sorts of issues come up. For example, he had a student last summer who had terminal cancer, but she was still working toward her degree.

Another student was due to have a baby during the third week of classes. She was in an online class and powered through.

As you create your plan, make sure to look for obstacles that can derail your timeline. Formulate a way around those obstacles now so you aren’t surprised later. For example, in the case of the student who was having a baby, she reached out to her professors and asked to move assignment and test due dates slightly so she wouldn’t miss anything.

If your goal involves weight loss, you may need to accommodate for holidays where there’s more eating.

If your goal is saving a specific amount of money, be sure to accommodate for emergencies.

Work Backwards From Your Goal

Some science suggests that you plan from the goal backwards. In other words, if you want to change your career from server to nurse, you need to look at it from being a nurse and plan backwards.

That might look something like this:

I am a nurse.

I have passed the state licensing exam for nursing.

I have graduated from nursing school.

I pass my nursing school classes.

I pass the classes I need to get into nursing school.

I have a job in the medical field, like a nursing assistant in a hospital or doctor’s office.

I’ve taken the classes to get a job in the medical field while I work on my nursing degree.

I’ve researched how to get into nursing.

I want to be a nurse.

This is obviously a simplified version of that timeline, but you can see how working from the goal towards where you are today can help you. Research the amount of time you need to complete each step so you can create an accurate timeline.

create a life plan

Boundaries

You might be wondering why we’re having a boundary discussion now. Do you remember at the beginning of the article when I mentioned that having a life plan helps you learn to say “No” to things?

The life plan is just one element of that. The second piece is that you need to set some boundaries.

This may be the most challenging part of your quest to create a life plan, but if you don’t take this step, you may have a few struggles with your life plan. Let’s look at an example.

We’ll imagine that you’re working toward a new career and you need to go back to school, The challenge is that you have young children at home and you need to work also to keep money coming in. This whole college thing is putting a real strain on your already precious time.

Don’t despair. This is still do-able. Think about your plan this way. By taking classes and setting boundaries with your family, you are teaching them to do the same. You’re showing them that hard work brings great rewards, and that people need boundaries.

What boundaries might you need? This, of course, depends on the age of your children. If they’re very young, you may need a babysitter. If they’re older, they will need to understand that when you’re studying, they can’t come up and ask to go to the mall, be dropped off at a friend’s house, and so on.

While you’re saying no to protect your study time, make a compromise with them. I can’t take you to the mall now, but if you let me study for another hour, we can go then.

Boundaries aren’t a way to be mean to people, but to show them how to treat you. Look at your life as it is now. Where do you feel the most frustrated when it comes to other people? When do you wish you could speak up and say what you really want to say? Those are probably places where boundaries can help.

Of course, I’m not going to leave you without a boundaries sheet in the life plan template! Would I do that to you?

Who Will Help You?

In an ideal world, we could do every single thing for ourselves by ourselves, but that’s not realistic. It can be scary to ask for help, but sometimes it’s necessary. In the life plan template, brainstorm who you may need to ask for help and how they might help you. People are often very willing to help you achieve your goals. True friends and family are rooting for your success!

It may also be that you don’t know exactly who will help. If you know you struggle with math but you need to take a few math classes for your new career, you can simply add in that you’ll need to visit the professor’s office hours or get a tutor.

Wrapping Up How to Create a Life Plan

This wasn’t like one of my usual articles in which I just share my sage advice with you. This time, you have actionable steps to take and a downloadable template to help you! I hope you find both the article and the template useful in your quest for a better life.

Let’s recap.

To create a life plan that works, you must start with the areas of your life and where you are right now. This can be a scary step, but it’s necessary!

Next, you need to figure out what your values are so you can align your goals with them for a happier journey.

After that, it’s time to brainstorm what you want and make your plan! Don’t forget to wrap up by determining what boundaries you might need to set and who can help you in your journey!

Best of luck to you as you move closer to your ideal life!

The first confidence building book for women and a best-seller, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes will prepare you to meet great men and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life. And not just any life, but a life you design for yourself. YOUR life your way! 

Are you ready to start planning that great life? Click below to get started today! There’s no time like now to live your life on your terms!

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