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Conversation Starters for a First Date

Conversation Starters for a First Date

Conversation starters for a first date can be a real challenge, but today, Pauline Plott has a few to share. Pauline is a London-based blogger on DatingSpot, and her bio is at the end of the article.

There you are, sitting down for dinner with a person you hardly know. You exchange pleasantries, talk about the pasta, and then it hits you…

SILENCE.

You’re thinking, “This is not good.” 

Suddenly you’re so tongue-tied that you have nothing to do but look down at your food. “Make it end!” you beg internally.

We’ve all experienced it before, but part of being prepared for a date is coming up with a list of conversation ideas that ensures you’re never caught bereft of speech.

Let’s explore some of my favorite conversation ideas for a first date. They are guaranteed to inspire, compel, and even build rapport. But first, let’s go over some discussion basics…

Conversation Starters for a First Date | Listen More Than You Speak

The point of a first date is to get to know the person you’re with. It’s pretty hard to do that if you don’t allow them to do so. Listening more than speaking is a good rule to abide by, but it is essential on a first date.

You’ll enjoy a reasonably even exchange if you both follow this rule. A good indicator of a relationship “clicking” is the ability to volley a conversation back and forth like a ping pong match.

Be Genuinely Interested

No matter how your first date goes, it’s essential to give it your best effort. Part of this can be achieved by showing genuine interest. Even if your date is not the most exciting person in the world, you should still take advantage of this unique opportunity to learn about this person’s unique perspective.

You may find that your concerted effort to act interested makes you curious.

Avoid Taboo Subjects

There are specific topics you should always avoid on a first date. Many of these are apparent, but I have been on innumerable dates where these topics have come up. More often than not, when these issues come up, it is ‘one and done’ for me:

  1. Past relationships
  2. Money and how you spend it
  3. Intimate or sexual details
  4. Marriage plans
  5. Politics

First dates are meant to be lighthearted and fun. Mixing in this kind of discussion makes it neither of those. Of course, that leaves plenty of topics that you CAN broach.

Here are just a few…

conversation starters for a first date

Conversation Starters for a First Date

After reviewing the basics, how about some great conversation starters for a first date? Feel free to expand on these and even come up with some related to things you discussed during the online dating process. Of course, you should prepare your responses to these questions too. Inevitably, your date will say, “And what about you?”

1. Who has been the most significant influence on your life?

This question is pretty typical and seemingly innocuous, but it says a lot about who a person is and what they want to be. If your date talks about a family member, they probably come from a healthy and loving home. If they choose to talk about a famous figure, they have a passion for things outside their world.

2. Where is your favorite location on earth?

This is a good question for learning about where someone has been and can lead to a much deeper discussion about travel. You can also use this response for the planning of dates later on. For example, if your date says their favorite location is Niagara Falls, you can take them on a picnic to a local waterfall.

3. Conversation Starters for a First Date | What is your favorite movie ever?

As far as conversation starters for a first date go, asking about movies and pop culture is a great way to connect with someone. It’s so pervasive that everyone has something to say about movies, TV shows, and celebrities. Once again, the answer to this question can lead you down a conversational path that is rich, interesting, and capable of creating some friendly side discussions.

4. What is your biggest goal?

Similar to question one, the answer to this question can tell you a lot about a person. Goals are an indication of drive, and people who can immediately identify their most important goals are often those who don’t need to go on dates to begin considering the matter.

5. What do you hate most about dating?

Nothing brings people together better than a mutual dislike of something. Dating isn’t always fun, and everyone has something to say about the matter. Talking about your frustrations together is a surprisingly good icebreaker.

6. What should I know about you that I wouldn’t think of asking?

This final question is my favorite and is another of the best conversation starters for a first date! The things someone chooses to voluntarily reveal about themselves that may be quirky can say a lot about them. Like all of the other questions on this list, it can also lead to even more interesting and unexpected questions that result, ideally, in both you and your date having a fantastic night.

These Conversation Starters for a First Date Should Get the Ball Rolling

As you may have noticed, one commonality these all share is that they are not ‘yes or no’ questions and require a little thought. Each can tell you a lot about a person, their expectations, and their dreams.

You may find that you connect with many of the answers and perhaps do not.

I recommend a second date if you think it’s worth continuing to suss things out.

There are 100 more things to discuss with a potential new boyfriend HERE!

About the Author

Pauline Plott is a London-based blogger who became a dating guru after learning the psychology behind modern romance and signing up for every dating website in pursuit of relationship bliss. She shares her reviews and opinions on DatingSpot.

To date a man, you must understand a man. Men and women do almost everything differently, and sometimes for different motivations. To a man, his financial status indicates how well he can take care of you and your family. It's a source of pride for him to be able to do so, even if you make your own money and can support yourself.

It's how he was raised.

Men also love differently. Many relationships breakup for the simple reason that a man is showing a woman how much he loves her, but he isn't saying the words she longs to hear. He's taking her car to get the oil changed, building the shelves she desires in her office and helping with the outside chores. You're probably missing many of these signs that he loves you.

You gain so much insight into the male mind that you'll be amazed at what you suddenly see and understand in the behavior of all men around you. Not just the man you're in a relationship with, but the men you work with and those in your family.

Read more about the book here or click the buttons to buy it today!

The Top 5 First Date Do’s and Don’ts for 2016

The Top 5 First Date Do’s and Don’ts for 2016

The Top 5 First Date Do’s and Don’ts

It’s the start of a new year, and the perfect time to talk about first dates. Going out with a totally new guy can be both exciting and nerve wracking at the same time! You can’t wait to hang out with him one-on-one, but all the while, your mind is full of what-ifs and worry.

It’s Tiffany today with some helpful advice in this department. I’m here to help you stop stressing with the top five first date do’s and don’ts for 2016!

DO: Be Yourself

The best way to ensure a second date, and possibly a successful relationship in the future, is to be real. Trying to be something you are not, in the way you act AND in the way you present yourself, will only backfire and lead to disaster.

Don’t wear a fancy dress and heels if you’re a jeans and boots kind of girl, and don’t say you love skydiving if you’re not prepared to jump out of a plane. It’s as simple as that. If he doesn’t like you for who you are, he’s not the right guy for you.

DO: Be On Time

There’s no such thing as fashionably late. If you are meeting him at 8PM, it does not mean leave the house at 8PM. It means be there at 8PM, or slightly earlier. After 30 minutes, he will probably think you’re a no-show and take off.

If he does wait for you, at the least, you’ve been just plain inconsiderate. If it normally takes you two hours to do your hair and get ready, plan accordingly.

DO: Keep Comfort in Mind

On a first date, or any subsequent date for that matter, you want to be able to focus on the conversation, and spend your time enjoying his company and getting to know him better. You don’t want to be distracted by shoes that pinch your feet, no matter how sexy they are.

For more First Date Tips for Women Click HERE!

Avoid worrying about things popping out that shouldn’t by choosing your wardrobe wisely. You can look great and still be somewhat comfortable. Remember, you need to be able to walk, talk and breathe.

DON’T: Be Wishy-Washy

If he asks you what you want to do, be decisive and involved. Don’t say. “I don’t know, whatever you want to do is fine.” You may just end up at some freaky movie that scares the crap out of you and eating sushi when you’re allergic to fish.

You’ll both end up feeling bad about how the date went if you let him make all the decisions and things go awry. How long can you really keep up appearances? Wishy-washy can get old real fast for everyone involved. Guys tend to like a girl who speaks up.

DON’T: Starve

If he orders steak and you want steak, order steak. If you love pasta, order pasta. Don’t just poke around a side salad and pretend that’s all you need. Guys will tell you there’s nothing more uncomfortable than a girl who won’t eat on a date.

Besides, you may end up “hangry” (hungry/angry) if you starve yourself, and that’s probably not the best way to make a good first impression. If you’re worried about a goodnight kiss, keep some gum or mints in your pocket for later.

DON’T: Overshare

Some of us tend to talk a lot when we’re nervous. Let him get to know you, but don’t over share or monopolize the conversation. He does not need to know every last messy detail about your life on a first date.

Ask him questions about his job, his friends and family, his hobbies, and favorite bands or TV shows to keep the conversation naturally flowing back and forth between the two of you. Don’t interrupt what he is saying, even if something awesome and relatable pops in your head, it can wait until he’s done.

More First Date Do’s and Don’ts

  • DO: Put your phone away — status updates can wait
  • DON’T: Run to the bathroom every five minutes to check your hair and makeup
  • DO: Pay attention and be a good listener
  • DON’T: Mention other guys
  • DO: Offer To Pay or Split the Bill. If he declines, at least leave the tip or pay for the popcorn. If he accepts, be prepared to actually pay
  • DON’T: Drink too much
  • DO: Send a quick and casual, “Had a great time, thanks again!” text afterwards
  • DON’T: Send him a long and intense, “I had the best time, you are the perfect guy for me, I can’t wait to see you again and introduce you to my family and BFFs, how does tomorrow sound XOXOX?” text afterwards and stalk him until he responds

Here’s To A Happy (and Romantic) New Year!

How to Make a Great First Impression on a Date

How to Make a Great First Impression on a Date

Hi Ladies, Tiffany today. Do you want to know how to spark an instant connection with someone new? Here are some simple to follow dating tips that will help you make a great first impression! Of course you want to make a great first impression when you meet someone new, especially when that someone is a handsome potential boyfriend. It’s actually easier than you would think! Here are four simple dating tips to help you shine….

Nix The Narcissism

It’s easy to get caught up in a one-sided conversation, where you talk non-stop about yourself in an effort to impress, especially when your nerves take over. Sadly, this tactic will usually backfire, leaving him disinterested, and leaving you wondering why. The next time you meet a new man, avoid the temptation to over-share. Instead of making it all about you, keep the conversation flowing back and forth. Of course, don’t interrogate him with questions. But do encourage him to talk about himself now and then. Respond with genuine interest, and really get to know each other!

Stay Cool, Calm, And Collected

It’s normal to feel a little anxious and jittery on a first date. But don’t let your nerves get the best of you! Take a deep breath, relax and focus on him. Chances are he’s just as nervous as you, so make him feel at ease and the conversation will flow naturally! Speaking of conversation, remember to speak slowly and clearly. Rambling on is a sure sign of insecurity. Men are attracted to confidence, and if he feels comfortable when he’s with you he will want to spend more time with you!

Be Mindful Of Body Language

According to Psychology Today, being in sync with another person is attractive. If you adjust your posture to match his, and follow his gestures, it will make you infinitely more alluring. To establish an instant connection, mirror the tilt of his head, make eye contact, smile when he smiles, and shift your body along with him. We can communication volumes with our bodies! Occasionally lean in toward him when he says something interesting. Keep you feet pointed forward towards him, with your legs uncrossed and comfortable. Arms should be also be uncrossed in a natural position with your hands relaxed and open. And be a bit flirtatious by playfully touching your jewelry or your hair. This is all considered positive body language, a hot topic when it comes dating advice for women!

Keep Things Real

We all know and love Gregg Michaelsen, Boston’s tops dating coach, and best-selling author of dating advice books. If you’ve read any of his books, you know self-esteem is a key issue in his dating advice for women. Gregg reminds us over and over again that we are quality women, and we should never change ourselves for anyone or give up who we are, especially for a man. Don’t lie and say things just to impress a guy. Be open and honest about your likes and dislikes right from the start, and let him get to know the real you, and how amazing you are! If he doesn’t like you for who you are, or if you don’t have anything in common, he’s not a good fit for you anyway! Don’t sweat it. You can have your pick of men, and your perfect match may be just around the corner waiting to have an instant connection with you! If your new acquaintance doesn’t heed this advice, cut him some slack if he makes a less than stellar first impression. Nerves can get the best of him too, and there may be a great guy hidden beneath all that narcissistic, insecure rambling. Now if he still makes it all about him when you meet again, that’s a whole ‘nother story! Labor Day Sale – One Day Only! Get “To Date A Man, You Must Understand a Man” for $2.99! That’s a savings of 40%! Eligible to USA readers only.
Going on a First Date? 3 Keys to Eliminating the Stress

Going on a First Date? 3 Keys to Eliminating the Stress

Going on a first date is kind of a big deal! Will I like him? How about his personality? Will it go well or be a complete waste of time? What will we talk about? And most importantly, what will I wear?! For most, first dates are very stressful, but if you follow these tips, you could have fun on a first date instead! It’s Tiffany and I’ve got some things for you to take to heart before your next first date.

Getting to know someone new, especially someone you are attracted to, can be a daunting task! You keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best. You pray this first date will be better than your last date, which was just crappy. But, having the right frame of mind going into it can make a huge difference in how the date goes, weather he’s a keeper or another dud. Let’s review a few tips which will start your date off on the right foot — whether you decide to wear flats, or stilettos!

Key #1: Take the Pressure Off

If you are like most women, you stress about a first date for days. When it’s finally time to start getting ready, you get serious jitters. In his relationship advice, Gregg always body language says just as much as words, so be careful not to let nerves get the better of you. Confidence is attractive! Good conversation will flow naturally if you are comfortable. A genuine smile right off the bat always helps make a good first impression.

Even if he’s not “the one” for you, you can still have a great time and maybe make a new friend. When you take the pressure to impress off the table, things will go more smoothly for everyone. Remember, he’s in the same first date boat as you! If he feels at ease around you, he may just fall in love with you!

Key #2: Be Your Authentic Self

When going on a first date, and in life, it’s important to be your authentic self.

  • Don’t change your personality or the way you dress because you think it will impress a guy
  • Don’t say you love skydiving as much as he does if you’re afraid of heights
  • Don’t show up in a sexy dress covered in bling if you’re a jeans and cute t-shirts kind of girl
  • Wear something comfortable something which best represents your own personal style

Let him get to know the real you, your interests, your likes and dislikes, even if they are different from his. How will you know if you are a good fit for each other if you are not honest from the get-go? It’s like false advertising. In the end, you will both be disappointed.

Key #3: Have the Right Mindset

Stop wondering if he could be “the one”. Don’t immediately consider whether or not you see yourself myself marrying this guy. Start focusing on how nice it is to get to know someone new and leave it at that. This is a first date and there is no rush, so ditch the checklist and keep an open mind. You might be pleasantly surprised to see sparks flying as you learn more about him, even if he doesn’t initially fit the mold you’ve created in your mind for the perfect man. Maybe you will never see this person again, and that’s okay too. At the least, you will walk away knowing a little more about yourself and what you want and don’t want. Going on a first date with a positive mindset means it won’t matter if it things don’t work out, and you won’t leave feeling discouraged.

First dates can actually be fun instead of stressful! Leave all your terrible first dates in the past, and take these three keys to heart going forward. Even if he’s not Mr. Right, when the next first date opportunity presents itself, go for it again!  Maybe this time the first date will lead to a second, or a goodnight kiss, or maybe even happily ever after!

Looking Great – Even if You Don’t Have Teenage Daughters to Dress You

Looking Great – Even if You Don’t Have Teenage Daughters to Dress You

It’s Kirbie again, coming to share some fashion tips with you today. I was blessed (depending on how old they were) with three daughters and one son. They’re all adults now, living their own lives, but they still manage to finagle their way into my day every now and then. It’s particularly heart-warming when one of them tears up because I dressed myself to their liking. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “Aww, Mom, you dressed yourself today and you’re so cute!” Not really as many as you’d think (unless you can see through my computer to me in my sweats and zippered hoodie). The first time it happened, it was kind of like a slap in the face! I thought, “Whatdda ya mean I dressed myself”?!?!?!” What do they think I did before they cared that there was no peanut butter on their collar? Truth is that I have a trick and it’s called….you guessed it…the Internet. HA! I stumbled onto it quite by accident one day while I was prowling around Pinterest. If you don’t have a Pinterest account yet, you need to click on over after you’re done here and get one! Anyway, I digress. I was on Pinterest and I saw these adorable combinations of clothes – maybe a cute top with a snazzy scarf, a jean jacket or blazer with a cute pair of jeans, the purse, shoes and other accessories all right there in one Kirbie-proof photo. Of course, I clicked it, ’cause I’m sharp like that, and it took me to a site called Polyvore. Maybe you’ve heard of it. Basically, their purpose is to sell stuff, but not their stuff, other people’s stuff (think Amazon-ish). Their way of doing it is ingenious – put together adorable outfits and post the whole shebang. You can ‘sign up’ through Facebook, but you don’t need to in order to browse. They also have a mobile app, but I haven’t checked it out…yet. Okay, I hear you – you can’t afford to go out and buy a new wardrobe. I’m right there with ya sister! Here’s the thing – most of what they are pairing is basic staples – white button downs, jeans, boots, jackets of one sort or another, sweaters, etc. I use it as an idea generator. Light bulb moments, if you will. Then I hop, er mosey, on over to my closet to see what I can come up with that is similar. I can usually come up with something that mimics what they were shooting for in the photo. This is a GREAT resource if you’re getting ready to go on a date – especially a first date – and you’re nervous about putting together something that says “I’m smart, good looking, and I have a sense of style.” The outfits on Polyvore range from your basics to stuff that’s pretty snazzy and dressy – shorts and sneakers to heels and sequin dresses. It’s a great boredom buster late at night, and also it can be helpful if you do win the lottery and get to go on a big clothing shopping spree! I’m much more attentive to scarves and other accessories when I’m out shopping now and sometimes I even remember to wear those cute things that I get. There are a lot of great sources for low-cost accessories today too! I don’t know how wide-spread some of these are, but try Charming Charlies, FiveBelow, Forever 21 (there are sometimes things for those of us well over 21) and even Target. I’ve found great things in all of those places – without my daughters. If you don’t care for Polyvore, below are a few other similar sites that I found. I will say that the models are pretty young and thin in some these, so I do prefer Polyvore myself. There are more no doubt. Maybe you can share a site you found a site similar to Polyvore. Have you used Polyvore? Where do you go for your sense of style?
Want to Make Your First Dates Better? Try These Tips

Want to Make Your First Dates Better? Try These Tips

  I’m not here to tell you to take a shower before a first date and make polite small talk. Here are a few things often overlooked—but they make a big difference!

Try not to pepper us with questions

Women like it when men ask them questions but it doesn’t necessarily work the other way around. I get it if you’re nervous—trust me. Nobody wants an awkward silence on the first date. My best advice is to calm down, find a topic that you’re both interested in and then have a great conversation! Talk about what you think and he should follow suit (without you having to ask what he thinks about something every time.) Bonus tip: avoid the true terrors of first dates: dumb questions! “Have you ever traveled,” “What hobbies do you like?” and the truly ugly “What’s your favorite (enter food, color, etc. here)?”

Spice it up—ditch the restaurant!

Restaurants are go-to first date spots because they’re more or less neutral territory. But it may be a good idea to hit up something a little more ‘off-the-beaten-path’ like a hookah bar or a bookstore. Heading to Barns & Noble for a coffee and some book browsing is way better than sitting around waiting for your dinner—especially if you need to duck out early because your date has zero personality.

Keep some of the most interesting bits about you out of the conversation

This might feel like you’re not putting your best foot forward, but it’s an extremely good tip for two reasons. First, we all want to impress our dates and to do that we tell them about the cool places we’ve been and the interesting things we’ve done. But if we start blabbering on about it without any context surrounding it, it’s going to come off conceited, like you’re saying it just to say it. If you’re dying to tell him you snowboard, don’t blurt it out while discussing his family. And if the subject never comes up at all—keep it under wraps until the next date! Secondly, if you tell him all the coolest parts about you on the first date, it makes you a bit less interesting the next time you go on a date with him. If you speak Spanish and bring it up on date 4 or even later, that drives the point home: “wow, what else does she do that I don’t know about?”

Never call him after

It was sound advice decades ago and it remains the same today. Ladies, wait for him to call you after your first date. He’s going to find you more exciting if you don’t call him and if he doesn’t call, who cares? You’re not going to woo him on the second date if you didn’t knock it out of the park on the first. Wait for the call—it will keep the suspense going and make him that much more interested (as long as he was interested to begin with.)

Plan some conversation topics ahead

You don’t want to wind up talking about something you can’t stand. The best way to avoid this is to make sure you have some control over where the conversation is going. If you want to talk about skiing, make up something, like, “Yeah, I’m loving this weather, I’m such a snow rat.” From there you’re an inch away from a skiing conversation. Either he’ll bring it up with his response or you can shortly after. This ensures conversations are natural and flowing—and more importantly, on your terms. First dates are full of anxiety and nervousness. By following some of these tips, hopefully you can be more at ease and have a great time! Remember, we’re nervous too!

What kinds of first date disasters or successes have you had?

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