Are you tired of putting in the work and getting nothing in return? Is your motivation to keep the relationship going falling off? Has the sex dwindled? These are some of the signs that you are suffering from relationship burnout.
Relationship burnout happens when one or both of you start thinking about parting ways. Sometimes it’s not even the relationship that’s at fault – it’s outside forces like a mixed family or long work hours that strain a relationship. It’s like you are falling out of love.
Here’s what to do:
Face it Head on
This takes guts and confidence, but in a perfect world, this is how I deal with it. Sit his ass down and ask him how he is feeling about your relationship. He will squirm and may even eventually lie, so take the reigns and tell him that you have relationship burnout and you need him to help you.
Can you do it? It’s by far the best way. Guys feel the need to fix things and when you word it like this – directly, he might recognize and try to fix the situation.
He might say straight to your face, “Yep, we need to break up” but don’t look at this as a bad thing because it was going to happen anyway.
Remember, this is something you are both probably experiencing so it will be a relief to talk about it and see what can or cannot be done.
Take a break
A break can be a wonderful thing. This means a real break. No communicating for weeks or even months. No snooping. No checking in. And no asking later who dated whom.
This ‘breakup’ is for grownups who can handle the consequences of being single for a test period for the good of the relationship.
Accepting that the breakup needs to be permanent and that is a good thing for both parties.
Work through it
Discuss how each one of you will change or compromise going forward. If he is working long hours, he gives up 8 hours. You, in exchange, stop pressuring him to have another kid or exercise. Listen to the other side and feel what they are feeling instead of siding with your own needs.
Yes, this is called communication and it’s rare in many relationships, but it works! Too many times, the other party has no idea what their significant other is feeling until they put themselves in the others shoes.
Realize there could be something deeper
If your complaint is that he is too clingy, realize that something in his past might be triggering this trait. Maybe his mom or dad abandoned him early in his life.
When you start to listen and understand, you may be more inclined to allow his behavior to continue. You can also talk to him about it when it’s happening so he can help himself.
Relationship Burnout is real
Relationship burnout is going to happen. In some cases, it cannot be fixed but in many it just needs to tackled head on and with few a tips.
The worse thing that couples will do is nothing. Nothing builds contempt on both sides and almost always leads to the relationship ending…badly.
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