Who Holds the Cards Now https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com Gregg Michaelsen - Confidence Builder. Dating Coach Ace. Mon, 29 Jun 2020 16:37:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.4.2 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/cropped-android-chrome-512x512-1-32x32.png Who Holds the Cards Now https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com 32 32 Seven Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem When Dating https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/seven-ways-to-improve-your-self-esteem-when-dating/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Wed, 17 Jun 2020 18:05:07 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=18448 The post Seven Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem When Dating appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

how to improve self esteem in relationships

Guest Post Written By Lana Otoya

Lana is a professional dating coach for successful women at Millennialships.com. She helps successful and confident women meet successful and confident men.

When you are dating, things can get tough. You go on date after date, only to discover that the men you like the most are never interested in you.

Even the most confident person in the whole world might start to question their attractiveness if this keeps happening. 

The key here is not to get discouraged. When you give up on dating, you lose your chance to find a loving and supporting relationship. 

Here are seven ways for how to improve your self-esteem when dating.

#7 – Know Where Confidence Comes From

Confidence is a key aspect of dating because it helps you attract men, and also feel better about the whole process.

The interesting thing about confidence is that you can get it from multiple sources. Most people get self-confidence from “track record” or “history”. This is when you look to your past experiences to help you determine if you are good or bad at something.

For example, if you always get A’s on all your math tests, you are going to be pretty confident that you are a skilled mathematician.

If you’ve had bad relationships in the past or never seem to get into a long-term relationship, your track record is not providing you with the confidence you need to attract a man. So how can you be confident if your track record is tainted?

The good news is that you can tap into your self-esteem. Self-esteem, although similar, is not the same as self-confidence. Self-confidence is often felt as a result of external validation, much like the math example. Where self-esteem is something that comes from within you. It’s something that you feel rather than something you see.

 Self Confidence vs. Self Esteem:

Here is a nice explanation of self-esteem from Psychology Today:

“Self-esteem is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act, and reflects and determines our relation to ourselves, to others, and to the world.

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to prop themselves up with externals such as income, status, or notoriety…On the contrary, they treat themselves with respect and look after their health, community, and environment.”

As you can see, healthy self-esteem comes from believing you are worthy, and respecting yourself despite any negative situations that life may present to you.

When dating, just remember that rejection and struggle happens to many people while they are looking for their long-term partner. You only need that one person to make everything worth it, so don’t tell yourself you don’t deserve love when you know it’s not true.

#6 – Have Realistic Expectations

Another way that you can help yourself feel confident during dating is to have realistic expectations. The online dating process is slow. You will message a lot of men who don’t message you back. You will go on dates with men who are losers. You will start to see a guy who seems really nice, only to have him ghost you after a few dates. I know this is a harsh reality but going in with these expectations helps you realize that it’s not you. This happens to everyone.

Even the most attractive, model-like women have trouble dating and finding a partner. This is because finding a partner only has so much to do with appearance and attraction, and much more to do with meshing two personalities together.

Sometimes it can take a while to find two personalities to really fit, but you only need to find one person and when you do, it’s really an amazing feeling!

#5 – How to Improve Self Esteem in Relationships: Move Slowly

When you are in a new relationship with someone who is really fun and awesome, you can be tempted to move things too quickly.

As a dating coach, I’ve seen many women get so excited about a new man who she tells her friends all about him, deletes all her dating apps and stops communicating with all men. Then, she realizes a few weeks later that he’s not interested in a long-term relationship.

There’s nothing wrong with getting excited and enjoying the honeymoon phase, but cutting off all other ties and letting all your friends know that you found “the one” can make the feeling of rejection much worse than it needs to be.

Always keep your options open until the two of you are on the same page.

#4 – Don’t Take Things Personally

Even if someone rejects you, it’s not really “you” that he is rejecting. It could be many different things.

There are seven billion people on this earth, and no two people have the exact same personality.

When dealing with so much variety in preferences, hobbies, values, etc., there are going to be people who clash. If you feel like things are going well with a man and then suddenly, he changes his mind, it could be any one of these little things that are not matching up. Maybe you live a little too far away from his house or maybe he’s not ready for a relationship.

Regardless of the reason, just know that if a man is not a good fit, you’re much better off without him.

#3 – Rejection and Shame Happen to Everyone

Researcher Brene Brown determined the feeling of rejection you experience when others do not accept you is a global feeling. This means that it happens to every human unless they have a serious mental disability. We are tribal animals whose evolution has made us want to fit in with the crowd. It is vital to our survival.

When you get rejected by someone, you have an intense feeling of shame. You purposefully analyze and critique yourself to see what might have gone wrong. This is a survival instinct because your brain is trying to help you fit in better next time.

The truth is though, you don’t need to fit in with everybody anymore. You do not rely on a certain caveman tribe in order to get your food and shelter. If someone rejects you, you can still live a perfectly happy life and not have to worry that you didn’t get along with just one person.

#2 – Focus on Self-Care

Dating can be a roller coaster of emotions. When you’re dating, you should be sure to have a structured and regular self-care routine. This allows you to remind yourself that you are the source of your own happiness, not anyone else.

#1 – How to Improve Self Esteem in Relationships: Have Fun

The pressures of finding a partner and all the swiping and texting rules can really be a downer. It’s best to pull back and remind yourself that dating should be fun. Instead of thinking, “I hate being single”, “This date is going nowhere” or that you  would rather be in your pajamas, remember – it’s just drinks.

You’re not being forced to speak in front of one thousand people or run a marathon. You’re just sipping on some cocktails with a new person. Even the most horrifying dates can still be fun. They can be a learning experience or simply an excellent story to tell your friends!

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My Boyfriend is Not Romantic https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/my-boyfriend-is-not-romantic/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Fri, 27 Mar 2020 20:07:47 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=16071 The post My Boyfriend is Not Romantic appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

My Boyfriend is Not Romantic

I have received many emails from women who were headed for divorce, based solely on their husband or boyfriend not being romantic enough.

I grew up in a family that didn’t show love. I have three older sisters and I am the only son. I never saw my mom and dad kiss, and we never said, “I love you” before bed or when we said goodbye. I learned from my parents not to show love in emotive ways and took this unromantic behavior into my relationships.

I personally decided I needed to change because I was being accused of being an unromantic boyfriend, and that sucks!

Showing love didn’t compute back then.

Today, I try hard to express my love because I am aware that this does not come naturally to

And even more importantly, I have learned that dating a romantic guy is important for
many women.


Because women can generally express their feelings better than men. As a woman, you were encouraged, growing up, to show your emotions.

The opposite is true for boys. Boys
are taught to hide their feelings; Never cry, be tough, win.

Given these cultural and familial caused flaws in men’s behavior, I feel it’s important to look for the other signs and ways an unromantic man shows you he loves you.

Here’s how an unromantic man shows you he loves you

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An unromantic man shows you he loves you by being chivalrous.


Here are some examples of chivalry:

  • He protects you when you are in public
  • He does things for you
  • He takes out the garbage and fixes the things he can fix
  • He’ll stay home when you are sick or at least check on you throughout his day

Now, taking out the garbage isn’t quite as romantic as flowers and “I love you”, but it is a way in which an unromantic man shows his love.

I think it’s important for women to realize that men show love in very different ways. Most of
us dread Valentine’s Day and birthdays because we are afraid we will let you down!

I’m not saying to give a lazy man a pass because he forgot your birthday.

I am saying to root for him – guide him on how he can make you happy. Reward him for his
behavior even if it’s a bit shy of your grand expectation.

If you do this, he will get better; I will get better; all men will get better!

If you scold him for not being the romantic boyfriend you saw in the movies, you will never
be happy with his efforts, and this will soon lead to anger and contempt.

Both men and women need to stop blaming the other for their shortcomings and start
understanding and listening to how the other thinks and what he or she is going through. When you are able to do this, amazing things can happen.

Being a romantic boyfriend is just one example.

My focus is to help women fully understand how men think so they can navigate situations
like this easily and effectively by creating a win/win for each side.

You understand that he does love you – he’s just not able to show it in the way that you want him to, due to learned behavior.

Now you aren’t resentful. Instead, you reward him for showing what he can and, maybe soon, he does things better.

See? He really is a romantic boyfriend ?


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Help! I’m Dating a Quiet Guy https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/help-im-dating-a-quiet-guy/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Fri, 21 Feb 2020 12:42:46 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=14989 The post Help! I’m Dating a Quiet Guy appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.


5 Things You Need to Know About Dating a Quiet Guy

Quiet guys can be great men to date, if you understand just how they tick. I’ve worked with a lot of men, and although every guy is different, I have found that quiet guys have certain attributes.

Follow my tips below and thrive with your quiet, shy guy.

They listen…a lot

Dating a quiet guy can be the perfect remedy for your bad day, incident with your cat, or exciting train ride you took to NYC.


Because quiet guys are excellent listeners. They want to hear about your day. They might be too shy to talk about their day but, trust me, they have honed their listening skills to the max.

So, go ahead and rant about hairballs while your shy guy smiles ear to ear.

Quiet guys remember facts

Remember the last player you dated – the one who forgot your birthday? That won’t happen with Mr. Quiet Guy. He listens and he imprints important things in your life.

He knows your favorite color is orange and that your Mom’s secret recipe involves lamb-chops. Feel free to tell him these personal facts – rest assured that they will not be forgotten

Worried about keeping your quiet guy? I have a great book deal for you!

He makes you feel special

Have you ever dated a guy who really seemed to get you? He looked deep into your eyes, said wonderful things, and made you think he was the one. Then, you watched as he looked deep into your girlfriend’s eyes and did the exact same thing.

Yeah, that sucks. Dating a quiet guy is better because he only opens up to you. He is not necessarily comfortable around people he doesn’t know well, so this attribute is reserved only for you.

How refreshing!

When he talks, people listen

I’m a loudmouth. I bellow over my friends. Therefore, what I say seems to get overlooked. I get it. I say so much that it’s too much to handle.

The quiet guy doesn’t say much because, well, he’s shy. Therefore, when he does say something people really listen! It’s like when Forrest Gump finally stopped running and everyone was waiting to see what he had to say.

When your quiet guy has something to say, listen to him intently and ask him questions. You’re going to learn something worth knowing and you will grow closer to him.

He’s not going to fight back

This is a good thing. That fighting with your ex was not healthy, even though you might have enjoyed it at times. Many women welcome, and even need drama in their lives. Dating a quiet guy puts an end to this.

A quiet guy is not going to fight back. He is more apt to listen and make his point hours or days later, after he reflects on your conversation. And when he does, it will be eye opening.

Realize this and start “fighting” like he does – listen more! You’ll find that it is much more conducive to solving your issue.

He likes his quiet time

Great news for you! This means he’s fine when you go out with your friends. He wants you too because he needs his introverted time alone. When you return, you’ll have stories to tell that he wants to hear. This is a win/win for both of you!

Dating Quiet Guys

OK, so maybe dating a quiet guy will not light your hair on fire, but quiet guys can be great men to date if you understand how they tick. Think about the five attributes above and realize how awesome your relationship can be if you take advantage of his qualities.

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Do I Like Him or The Idea of Him? 5 Questions to Ask Yourself https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/do-i-like-him-or-the-idea-of-him/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Sat, 15 Feb 2020 14:17:14 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=14983 The post Do I Like Him or The Idea of Him? 5 Questions to Ask Yourself appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.


How Do I Know If I Like Him or the Idea of Him?

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why the f**k am I with this man?”

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she must evaluate if the man she is with is the right man for her.

What are the reasons I’m dating him? Does he complete me?

Sometimes we like the idea of being in love over loving the right guy. The thought of children running around on the perfectly manicured lawn with the swing set in the backyard might overtake your choice.

If this is your reality, ask yourself a few questions to gain perspective.

What exactly do I like about him?

If your first thought is “Wait, do I even like him?” Houston, we have a problem! You should be able to rattle off a few reasons without much thought. They should be good reasons too. Like ‘I love how he makes me feel when we’re together’, or, ‘The way he took care of me when I was sick was amazing!’

If you find you’re telling yourself that you’re with him because you don’t want to be single like your best friend, dig a little deeper.

Do I like him for who I think he can become?

This is one of the most common signs that you like the idea of him more than you actually like him! Often a woman will take in a stray kitten of a man, think she can clean up his matted fur, and make him into the man of her dreams.

Instead, she gets a wet kitten who won’t pee in the litter box! Love a man for who he is and not for who you think he will become. Anything else will only lead to disappointment and misery. Too many women have gone down this losing path.

If these questions lead you to thinking about finding a new guy then I have a GREAT offer for you!

Do our core values and goals gel?

You want kids but he thinks he might someday. You save money while he spends like a fool. You feel you are independent, but he is needy.

These things are a big deal and cannot be overlooked. If you do, do so at your own peril. You must get the big things worked out before marriage or you are simply liking the idea of him and not him!

How much do I know about him?

Have you dug into his past or run a criminal check? Do you know what his family and friends think of him? Does he love animals? What’s he passionate about?

If you don’t have these answers, you probably don’t know him well enough to be in love with him. You might just be infatuated with the idea of him. Or maybe you don’t care to know about these things. This too states that you might just like the idea of him and not him.

Am I ready for love?

A woman is ready for love after she is confident in her ability to be one half of a great relationship. This means she’s happy alone without the need of another person in her life. A man simply completes her and adds the “cherry on top” to her already complete life.

If she is not ready for love, he will become her only hobby. This will constrict him and potentially ruin the relationship.

Do I Like Him or The Idea of Him?

Ask yourself these five questions as you evaluate what he truly represents to you. If your answers confuse the heck out of you – then reevaluate your motives behind dating this particular guy.

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How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/how-to-apologize-to-your-boyfriend/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Fri, 07 Feb 2020 12:35:44 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=14946 The post How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.


The Do’s and Don’ts of Apologizing to Your Boyfriend

You know I’m not a big fan of apologies unless you purposely ran over your boyfriend’s dog – which I know you would never do.  I prefer acknowledging the mistake, fixing it and moving forward. But, there are times when you mess up big-time. Maybe you had too much to drink and you flirted with the waiter, or you called out your mother-in-law’s bitchy behavior. I get it. So what are some tactics to apologize to your boyfriend? It’s as much about what you do say as what you don’t. Check these out.

How can I make it up to you?

Acknowledge that you were wrong and do something good to make your boyfriend happy. Maybe it’s under the sheets, or it could be making his favorite chili. While executing something nice, make it clear you were wrong, and that it won’t happen again.

Put yourself in his shoes

This can really help. Say, “If you were flirting with a hot waitress I would have reacted just like you did. I understand and now I see where I was wrong.” This type of language diffuses the situation quickly.

How to apologize to your boyfriend: Don’t explain away your behavior

This gets dangerous. The very moment you start to justify your actions, you’re preparing to start an even bigger argument. “Somebody had to tell her that her chili sucks” “You were flirting with the bartender earlier, remember?” These will never work. Apologizing to your boyfriend by putting it back on him will backfire. Swallow your pride, own your mistake and move on.

Leave it be

Once you apologize let it go. Do not keep apologizing! This just reminds him of the incident and puts him back into his bad mood towards you. Now, he will get jittery the next time you are out drinking in public. I see this often – a woman will feel so bad that she keeps apologizing over and over. Her apology becomes meaningless, and it’s a signal of low confidence. Show your strength by saying it once and letting it go.

Be your best

Get back to being the woman he loves. Laugh, have fun and do the things he likes to do. Get his mind off his anger. Displacement works very well in these apologetic times! But, don’t go overboard or be fake about it. Overdoing it won’t help either. It just becomes an empty gesture.

Fix the issue

Many people apologize the right way but do the very same thing again and wonder why the relationship ends abruptly. If you drink again and overtly flirt with another waiter, I’m gone! Instead, handle the apology and then have a talk with yourself. Do I have a drinking problem? Do I need help? Am I flirting because I am not happy with him? Am I a hot, jealous mess and therefore I feel I need to flirt? Is my confidence in the dumpster? He doesn’t need to know this part, but you do – and you need to fix it before it bites you in the ass again!

How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Conclusion

These are very simple but powerful tactics! Don’t underestimate the damage you may have caused to the long-term health of your relationship. Take time to own what happened, put in the energy to fix what might be broken inside and move forward to a healthy, happy relationship.

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What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/what-do-guys-really-want-for-valentines-day/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Fri, 31 Jan 2020 12:00:22 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=14928 The post What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.


What Does a Man Want for Valentines Day?

Ah, the stress men face when Valentine’s Day nears. For me, and many men, it’s as tough or tougher than Christmas because it needs to be romantic. It needs to be right or we are screwed!

But what about men? What do we want? I mean it’s our day too right?

Well, I got on it and I surveyed my vast network of guys and here are the surprising results.

Make it about us too

Surprised? I wasn’t. Getting some nice cologne is okay, but if I must then shower you with gifts the rest of the night, well that doesn’t seem fair. We want it to be our day too. Somewhere along the way, Valentine’s Day became more about women than men. At least that’s how my guys felt. Don’t shoot the messenger!

Okay, okay. How about 75% you and 25% us? That will work.

Spend quality time

Yep, we want to be together alone too. You and me against the world! A cool restaurant maybe, with white linens and candles glowing. The real ones, not those fake plastic flickering things. It’s fun to look around at other couples enjoying themselves and think just how lucky we are today.

Many guys I talked to live in cold climates and they loved the idea of cooking at home together and snuggling up around the fireplace.

Others were fine doing whatever their significant others wanted to do as long as it was quiet and intimate. Yes, I’m talking about men!

What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day | Recognition for their effort

This may sound odd, but the guys told me that they get worried about not spending enough or doing something that every other guy does like getting flowers or chocolates.

Gary said, “I worry about Beth looking disappointed at me because I didn’t make it special enough.”

It’s important for women to realize that most of us are not good at this romantic stuff. We try, but we still need your help to make us better. Tell us that we made you happy and recognize the effort. If you do, you’ll find that we can and will get better.

Go for it in the bedroom

Let’s face it, sex can get a bit boring after years together and three kids running around. Make tonight special for both of you and mix it up this year! Spend some extra time doing some fun stuff with your hands and your tongue. Set a new precedent in the bedroom by teasing him.

He should be in as a romantic state as he ever will be on this day so go for it!


This is my favorite. I’ll take a massage without having to reciprocate (I know, selfish) over a gift any day. And most men agreed with me. Follow up with a some oral givings and we will be in heaven!

What Do Guys Really Want for Valentine’s Day

My big takeaway is this: Valentine’s Day should be fun for both of you, but through the years, it has become a chore for men. Yes, that is our fault but help us be better won’t you?

And on behalf of all the men that screw up on Valentine’s Day, let me say, “There is always next year to get it right!”

Check out my great infographic and get some ideas churning for the big day!

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Why You Should Never Stop Dating Your Husband https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/dating-your-husband/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Mon, 27 Jan 2020 01:39:41 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=14915 The post Why You Should Never Stop Dating Your Husband appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.


Learn How to Date Your Husband All Over Again

When you first meet a new guy, you’re excited for every date. Each time you get together, it’s special for both of you. For you, you’re taking the temperature of the relationship. For him, he’s enjoying the mystery he considers to be you.

However, after you’ve settled in, maybe even moved in together or gotten married, you stop dating each other.

This is a mistake.

Falling into a routine where you exist among one another without really spending quality time together becomes detrimental to your long-term relationship success. Instead, settle into a routine of a weekly date night!

Why is date night so important?

It Helps You stay out of a Rut

It’s so easy to fall into a rut. You put your lives on autopilot and just go. You wake up every morning, get ready for and go to work, come home, fix dinner, watch some television – maybe even together, and go to bed.

This is boring – Spice it up!

Men don’t survive well in boredom, and many women don’t either for that matter.

As humans, we crave excitement and adventure, and yet this can feel risky and frightening. It’s when you push past the fear and experience that excitement and adventure that you begin to feel alive!

When you do this together, it’s such a bonus for your relationship! You get away from the daily distractions of work, kids and other responsibilities and spend a couple of hours focused on one another and your relationship.

Dating Your Husband Again Helps Build Intimacy Between You

Intimacy isn’t something you build between the sheets. It’s built-in the special moments you share together. It’s in that excitement and adventure you share together.

Early on, romantic moments and opportunities to build intimacy come frequently, but somewhere along the way, you begin to try less. It’s not intentional. Other aspects of life just creep in and take over.

When you go on dates, you take the time to remember what it is you love about one another, what drew you to each other. This helps keep that flame burning.

You Build a Stronger Foundation

Connecting on a weekly basis helps you build your relationship. Not every date night will happen during the best moments of your relationship, but if you have a regularly scheduled date night and you stick with it, no matter what, you have the opportunity to sit down in a quiet space and work it through.

Date nights shouldn’t be about arguing or disagreeing with one another. They should be about working through solutions without the distractions that often get in the way.

Working through your problems in a calm, patient way helps you improve your communication skills. This builds a strong foundation to fall back on when things get tough.

If you take the time to work through the small things as they come up, to communicate with one another in a healthy way, more difficult challenges will be easier to overcome.

Dating Your Husband | You Experience Fun and Playful Moments Together

A great way to interject good moments into your relationship is to have fun together. Go putt putt golfing or zip-lining. Go hang out at a comedy club with some friends or just get silly together. Make a game of grocery shopping or bake together and make a competition out of it.

This type of investment in your relationship is HUGE and definitely makes a positive impact on your long-term relationship success!

While the correlation between fun and relationship success is big, it’s an even bigger deal for men, according to studies conducted over time.

Overcoming Date Night Hurdles and Excuses

There are many excuses couples use for not practicing a regular date night routine. Most of these are just excuses, and using them is like laying down the bricks to divorce court. IF you want your relationship to be successful, take my advice and overcome these hurdles!

Excuse #1: It’s too expensive to go on a date night every week

Date night does not mean going to a five-star restaurant. It might be something as easy as taking a walk around the neighborhood together or heading over to the beach if you have one close by.

Date night can also be staying home and watching Netflix or something on a DVD or your cable DVR. You can stay home and do something you both enjoy together like cooking or even entertaining friends.

You can have a game night or find a book to read together in whatever genre you both enjoy.

Excuse #2: We’re both just too tired to go out on a date

In this instance, choose something low-key. Light a fire, snuggle up on the couch together and talk. Set the cell phones aside, turn off the television and give one another your undivided attention.

This is another instance where reading a book together can be great. Take turns reading aloud to one another.

Think of date night as a form of self-care. It’s a great way to experience some much-needed downtime while also making time to connect with one another.

Even though you’re both tired, a workout can be a great way to recharge. It releases endorphins and makes you feel energized again.

Excuse #3: I always have to plan everything and I’m sick of it

Yes, this can always land on one person, but then I suggest that you make a game out of it. Challenge him to come up with a better date night plan. You plan one and then challenge him to do better.

Men love a challenge! Of course, it’s up to you to participate in whatever he plans. Even if it scares the heck out of you. You’ve issued the challenge so it’s up to you to play.

If you make a game out of planning date nights, he’ll be more likely to participate. He might not want to participate because you haven’t found something that piques his interest yet.

Sit down together and come up with some ideas together. He’ll be more likely to participate in the planning if he gets energized and excited about the process.

Excuse #4: He never wants to do anything

Chances are, that’s half of the sentence. He might not want to do anything you’ve suggested so far. Again, plan a date night you think he will enjoy, even if you won’t, and then challenge him to come up with something more fun.

Another thing you can do to keep dating your husband is involve his friends. Plan a couple’s date night with one or more other couples. This might be a great way to get him involved in the beginning, and then when he discovers that he enjoys spending this time, you can transition into some date nights for just the two of you.

“Rules” of Date Night

When you and your guy are having a date night, it’s important to try your best to follow a few simple ‘rules’:

  • Turn off cell phones, or if that is impossible due to being on-call or having children, at least keep the use to those situations
  • Practice good listening skills
  • Try to avoid arguing with one another – work on more positive problem-solving skills
  • Plan the next date night while you’re together

Dating Your Husband Wrap Up

Falling into a routine where you exist among one another without spending quality time together becomes detrimental to your long-term relationship success. Stop the downward slide and start making you and your spouse the most important part of your world again. Settle into a routine of a weekly date night!

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How to Stop Liking Someone | 5 Simple Tactics https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/how-to-stop-liking-someone/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Mon, 20 Jan 2020 18:11:39 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=14890 The post How to Stop Liking Someone | 5 Simple Tactics appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.


Stop Liking Someone You Aren’t Dating!

Have you ever jumped into a hot tub only to have the water spill over the edge? This is called displacement. That water spilling over the edge will never make it back into the hot tub…or it shouldn’t unless you allow it to return.

We’ve all been there. Crushing on some guy or gal that we shouldn’t be. He is married, a player or simply a lousy fit. He only calls you when he wants to get laid or he borrows money from you all the time but never pays you back.

Heck, I’ve gotten questions from women with all the above issues and it was long distance to boot!

Stop the madness. Learn the ways to stop liking someone that has no place taking up space in your life and brain.


Take the time that you are spending with him or thinking about him and fill it up with something you like a lot. Notice, I said a lot. If you fill it by jogging four miles and you hate jogging, you will simply cry about him while jogging.

But if you love horse back riding and you are on the back of an appaloosa – then BAM…displacement!

The more time and the activities you can attend, the better you will feel as time works its magic.

Reasons I hate your Ass

You’ll enjoy this one.

Make two columns. On the top left write in bold letters: “Reasons I hate your ass.”

On the top right, write: “More reasons I hate his ass.” I like having two columns the same ?

OK, hate may too strong so go with “why he’s not a good fit” if you like.

Start writing. Really think about the hurt you will feel if you continue down this road that your gut, family and friends are warning you about. Look over your list whenever you start thinking about him or he texts you (late night) to join him.

How to stop liking someone – Don’t sit idle

This is when it hits. You’re staying home on a Saturday night when all your friends are out and you start thinking about him again.

Get back out there! Meet new people. Have fun with your friends and go easy on the alcohol. Flirt with new men you meet even if you have little interest. The confidence boost will feel great.

Block him

If you are allowing him to see you on social media, you aren’t letting go. Block him. Make it clear to your friends that you need to let go so they stop talking about him, even if they have nothing good to say about him.

What happens is that just when you begin to heal, he will contact you to say hi and the feelings start to flow again. Take this option away.

And finally – Break your routine

Rearranging your day is exciting! It makes you think more. Routines are programmed so you don’t think. Exploring a new Mexican restaurant instead of your usual dig will have you more engaged in the moment.

To stop liking someone means making a conscious plan. It’s like taking Theraflu right when you feel your first symptoms – you’ll heal faster!! Embrace being single – more and more woman are choosing this option

The post How to Stop Liking Someone | 5 Simple Tactics appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Are You Selling Yourself Short in Your Dating Life? https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/selling-yourself-short/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Sun, 08 Dec 2019 14:00:03 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=14854 The post Are You Selling Yourself Short in Your Dating Life? appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.


Selling Yourself Short in Life is the Result of a Toxic Past

Have you ever had a friend tell you that you are selling yourself short when it comes to men and dating?

I have said to someone from time to time and it hasn’t gone over well at all, unfortunately.

It’s no wonder relationships fail at the high rate they do – people sell themselves short.


It’s all about self-worth. If you don’t think highly of yourself, there is a greater chance you will pick a mate who doesn’t have much self-worth either. Likes attract likes.

The negativity of your inner game reminds you of how average you look, how incapable you are in life and how awful your attitude is.

Is this the right way to go into a relationship?

selling yourself short

No. Friggin. Way.

Build Yourself and He Will Come.

This is the tagline of my website and my business for a reason.

Having a man in your life is not the answer. A positive you is! What your mind tells you all day is not reality, it’s the false reality created by a hurtful past.

It’s not your fault. There was no class called “Life Coaching 101” in high school or college. So no wonder women choose the stiffs who use them and move on. They expect to get dumped.

It really is pathetic and sad but it’s not your fault.

What to do if you are selling yourself short

Be aware of all the words you say to yourself throughout the day. Be especially aware around the mirror at home. Lose “I can’t, I won’t, I look like crap, why did I” type of negativity and replace it with the opposite:

  • I look great today
  • I am deserving of love!
  • Let’s work out
  • What a beautiful day
  • I am thankful today for…

It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe what you are saying at first! Just start replacing the ugly with the positive and soon the magic will happen – you will believe what you say to be true!

Hocus pocus? I’m afraid not my friend. You have full control over your thoughts so learn to feed yourself positive thoughts and your result is amazing confidence. Feed it negativity and out pours depression, stress, lack of confidence and yes – unsuccessful relationships.

Today is the day to stop selling yourself short! If you’re doing this today and would like to delve deeper into how to make positive changes to live a happier life, please check out these two freebies below and my best selling confidence course, “Comfortable in Your own Shoes.”

These two things below have helped thousands of women begin their journey to building confidence:

  1. Confidence Info-graphic
  2. Also, I LOVE this Dove video – please view it at least twice – it is at the core of my books and coaching: Watch it here

The post Are You Selling Yourself Short in Your Dating Life? appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.

Why Online Dating Sucks and Sends Women Running for Cover! https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/why-online-dating-sucks/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss Wed, 20 Nov 2019 16:49:37 +0000 https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/?p=14843 The post Why Online Dating Sucks and Sends Women Running for Cover! appeared first on Who Holds the Cards Now.


Online Dating Will Suck No More

Online dating sucks for a variety of reasons. Fake pics, embellished profiles and guys living in the basement smoking pot with no career hopes are a few reasons.

Then, you get him out only to find out he is a total dirt bag. He’s actually ‘separated’ which means he is in an argument with his wife about his porn addiction and anger issues. Of course, you don’t find this part out until much later.

Basically, men lie because they can get away with it! That means you end up wasting your time with some loser which gets you friggin’ frustrated as hell and you give up. Then, coaches like me get yelled at.

I get it.

Why Online Dating Sucks

But online dating does work for the few women that know how to game the system! The facts don’t lie. Many folks meet and find love online. So how do turn the cards in your favor? You put a plan in place long before you join Match.com or whatever dating site you choose.

I’m the dating coach who games the system for you! And a quarter million books sold says I ain’t jokin’

Your plan has arrived! It’s the #1 HOT NEW RELEASE in Marriage on Amazon in and it’s only 99 cents for a few days only:

What To Do When Online Dating Sends You Running For Cover


If you’re like most of the women who email me, you’re tired of swapping emails with men, only to be ghosted or to meet guys who turn out to be real jerks in person, even though online they seemed really sweet.

I get it and hearing about your painful experiences makes me so annoyed with men!

The issue isn’t with online dating, it’s with not knowing exactly what type of man you’re looking for and then being able to articulate that in a way that weeds out the players.

I want you to have the relationship of your dreams. I want you to meet the guy who will be your dream guy online and in person. I want to help you overcome the frustrations of online dating and meet the great man you deserve!

That’s why I wrote What to Do When Online Dating Sends You Running for Cover!

Inside this book, you learn the skills you need to succeed at online dating, including:

  • Taking a deep dive into who you are and what you want out of your life
  • Higher confidence so you can attract that great man who’s just right for you
  • A deep dive into the male mind to help you understand why men behave the way they do
  • The best primer ever on building an irresistible online dating profile
  • Tools to weed out the players and losers
  • Sure-fire methods to get him offline and on a real date

Now longer will you utter the words, “This is why online dating sucks!”

Get it on Amazon Now!

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