The Purpose of Making a Decision

Men like to make decisions without consulting others. They want to get to the bottom line.

Women prefer to consult with others and reach a concensus on a decision.

The Man

Men think women ask too many questions. They prefer to make decisions by thinking them through, not by asking others.

When a man hears a question, he inteprets this as a request for a plan of action, which he then sets out to supply.

His objective is to get to the finish line and solve the problem.

The Woman

When a woman is trying to reach a decision, she begins by asking questions with the ultimate purpose of building a concensus. Women are in no hurry to solve the problem. They feel that taking time to solve the problem is essential, so when a man provides an immediate solution, she can feel frustrated.

The Bridge

When she asks a man a question, since he sees this as a request for a plan of action, he will provide one, but he will be upset when the woman continues to ask questions. This causes him to feel rejected. He will be frustrated because the woman continues asking questions. She will feel frustrated because he has rushed to a decision, in her mind, without gathering all of the necessary information.

The bridge, then, is to gather your data before having a discussion with your man. If you need to go on a fact-finding mission, do it before you ask your man for his decision. He is going to come to a decision much more quickly than you will and if you keep asking questions after he has done so, he’s going to feel rejected.

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