10 Tips - Your Game Plan

A Synopsis of Top Dating Tips for Women

Control Your Emotions

Women are emotional and this creates a vulnerability that wet kittens will exploit. In order to survive in a relationship, you need to learn to control your emotions.

I’m not telling you that you can’t ever cry again or be hard as nails, but I am suggesting that you remove that target on your back that wet kittens zero in on – you know that target – it’s there, exposing all your vulnerabilities.

There are two crucial periods of a relationship when you need to make sure your emotions are in check – the beginning and the end, if it comes.

Men cannot handle a lot of emotion, and those are two times where you are most likely to be showing your weak underbelly. 

Try instead to vent your emotions to someone else like a friend or family member. If you direct your emotions at your guy, he’ll run – and fast!

How to Handle Your Emotions – Mind Mode

  • Recognize that your emotions are running a little high
  • Ask yourself this – what would he do or what is he about to do?
  • Do that, but do it first

Why does it Work?

  • You surprised him by not becoming emotional
  • You’re acting like a man – like he acts with his friends
  • Your actions, which are mimicking his, tell him that something is wrong, and he will seek you out to talk further
  • Showing less emotion to him makes you mysterious

Shift into Man Mode

First, you learned Mind Mode. Now you’re going to learn Man Mode.

In Mind Mode, you reacted with your emotions like he does. Man Mode takes this a step further. You’re going to treat him as if you’re a guy – you’re going to speak his language without him realizing what’s going on.

He will want you more, without knowing why.

  • Encourage him to hang out with his friends, then go hang out with yours; this will make him want to be with you more and his friends less
  • Offer to buy your own way sometimes; this tells him you’re not after his money
  • Have your own hobbies and encourage him to have his, but from time to time, show interest in his hobbies
  • In an argument, less is more; say less, walk away first without shouting or screaming (Mind Mode)
  • Rather than complain and whine to get his attention, confront him head-on with little emotion or withdraw from the situation (a guy move also)
  • Tell him like it is, don’t sugar coat things; this is how men talk to men – “Hey Dan, dude your fly is down”…women will stammer and either say nothing or go find a guy to tell him

Why does it Work

Men understand man talk. Think of it as the same as learning Spanish or French. You’re learning a new language, except you don’t need to learn how to conjugate verbs! In fact, in this language, you learn to speak less. When you back off, use fewer words and act like his male friends, he gets it and realizes quicker that he needs to take action!

Increase Your Experiences

When you have many life experiences, you’re more interesting. Imagine going on a first date and the only thing you’ve done in your life is work and go to college.

No hobbies, no interest in sports, art, theater, travel or anything else. After a few moments of getting to know one another, what will you have to discuss?

  • Life experiences give you things to talk about, other than yourself
  • When you have hobbies and outside activities in your life, you’re less likely to make a man your hobby
  • Quality  men are thinking long-term, but without outside interests, you’ll become boring to a man in a short period of time; you’re a Rest Stop
  • When you attract a man with your mind, you will make him want to get to know all of you

Why does This Matter to Man?

A man will be intrigued by you when you start talking about something you’re passionate about and your experiences. it’s especially important to have these interests after you’re in a relationship. You can tell your man to go off and enjoy his hobbies and you can enjoy yours, making sure he knows you’re doing so. You will soon find him more interested in staying home with you!

Leave Your Baggage Behind

Everybody has baggage. Everybody! Whether it’s past failed relationships, kids, financial woes or other issues, you have baggage. The key to starting a relationship is to either get rid of your baggage before you enter into a relationship (except the kids, of course) or be honest about it when the time is right. The honesty will be refreshing to your new beau and will make him actually feel better about his own baggage.

  • Not sharing baggage soon enough leaves a man wondering what else you’re hiding; share early
  • Keep things light-hearted when you share; don’t make a mountain out of it and let him know you’re working on fixing the issue;
  • There is no need to share minor stuff

Don’t directly ask a guy about his baggage. Observe him in different situations to determine what it may be. Observe different circumstances.

  • When you’re in a restaurant, observe how he treats the wait staff and others
  • Does he open doors for you and hold your chair?
  • Does he drink too much?
  • Is he impatient and rude?
  • Is he a tightwad or a complainer?
  • Observe how his friends treat him – this will tell you a lot about the baggage he may have
  • Observe him around his family  – what types of things do they share about him?
  • Hang out with your friends – they will be honest with you and see things you may not
  • How is he when he drinks?

Why this is Important

Exposing baggage before the relationship gets too far along helps you know and understand one another. You can make informed decisions about whether you can deal with each other’s stuff and move forward or leave the relationship before things go too far. This will save a lot of heartache later on. Keep your eyes wide open and don’t be blind to his baggage, but be sure to share yours as well!

Get Busy

This is different from having past experiences. You not only need to have those past experiences, but you need to continue to build new ones. What does a busy woman look like?

  • She is a college student
  • She’s working to advance her career
  • She’s engaged in hobbies
  • She has pursued something for a while and mastered it
  • She has little time for extra stuff – a guy needs to get on her schedule early

Why does this Work?

As you build mastery in different things, you build confidence. Men are very attracted to confident women! A confident woman is a Keeper, versus a Rest Stop – a woman men date for a while until a Keeper comes along.

A confident woman is a woman who chooses which man will be allowed in her life. She doesn’t settle for a wet kitten! She attracts high value men and will be more likely to engage in a successful relationship than a series of relationships that turn into one screwed up mess after another.

Get Yourself in Shape

I catch a lot of crap for this one, but that’s because people misinterpret my message. Please read on before you dismiss this one!

You might think I’m going to tell you that skinny girls get all the great men, but that isn’t my point at all!

Working out makes you feel great! A chemical process is set off when you work out and you experience a natural high. It’s also a great way to build your confidence.

While you’re working toward being healthier, don’t forget to manage your diet too! I’m not being some prejudiced guy here who only likes fit women. This is for your own good. Your overall fitness is of no consequence to a guy, if you’re interesting. The value here is to you, your life and your longevity. How can you get fit?

  • Take a 30-minute walk every day
  • Get a gym membership
  • Find a friend and get her to exercise with you
  • Do Yoga
  • Get yourself a bike and start riding to work
  • Be consistent

Why is this Important?

Honestly, I don’t care whether you weigh 120 pounds or 320 pounds, but you’re here, on this website, reading my dating advice books, so you need my help! This is one of the ways in which you can become more attractive to a man, not because of how much you weigh, but because of what working out and eating well does to your life.

  • Working out makes you feel good about yourself, regardless of how much you weigh
  • It will give you new life experiences
  • Working out helps you build confidence
  • Working out keeps you busy, and didn’t we just talk about being busy? Hmmmm

Take a Risk!

Before you panic and flip back to the book, hang with me.

Taking risks is a great way to accomplish many of the things I’ve already mentioned here. It gives you an experience to talk about, it keeps you busy and it might help you get fit, and it builds your confidence

Why is this Important?

I think I just covered it, but to summarize:

  • You will feel better about yourself
  • You will grow your confidence
  • You will keep busy
  • You’ll be adding new experiences

Dump the Losers!

Don’t settle for someone you determine to be a loser! You either already are a high value woman or you’re well on your way to becoming one.

You don’t need to settle for some alcoholic jerk who lives with his parents and doesn’t do much other than play video games and hang with his friends. I don’t care how old you are.

This guy is not marriage material and he’s certainly not someone you want as the father of your children! How do you determine which guys are not the losers?

  • Trust your intuition – your gut will tell you – you just need to listen
  • He communicates – he calls you back or returns a text within a reasonable amount of time
  • He has a good job, or he’s working toward getting one
  • He’s happy, not depressed or whiny
  • He has limited baggage

Why is this Important?

Losers are a suck on  your life. They’ll suck your energy, your positive emotions and your money. They bring very little of value to the relationship and plan on continuing to suck off you for as long as you’ll put up with it.

You are a Woman of Worth and you deserve much better than this guy! I don’t care how cute he is or what he says, he’s lazy and he doesn’t deserve a WOW like you!

Dump him! If you don’t, you’ll be emailing me in a few weeks, wondering what happened and what you could have done differently.

Don’t date him! You’ll be much happier in the long run!

Power Date

Dating multiple men is something I definitely recommend. Before you decide to date just one, try a few on for size! Date a type of guy you think you wouldn’t be interested in, just for fun. There are many benefits to doing this.

Women often want to be monogamous very early in a relationship. While a man might verbally agree, chances are his online profile is still up and he’s dating more than one woman.

This is okay! You don’t have a commitment and you might not even find you like this guy after a few dates. Give it time before you make things just the two of you. When you power date:

  • You stay busy
  • You get to compare different types of men and find out what you really like
  • You have multiple options, different types of men to compare
  • You get a few free meals (but offer to pay)

Why is this Important?

Life is full of choices. You go to the grocery store and choose one watermelon over another or one ear of corn over another.  You select the best looking meat, the freshest bread. Why do you not choose between multiple men?

Experiencing different personalities and types of men allows you to make an informed decision. That guy you think you’d never date may be the one and you wouldn’t have found him if you didn’t power date!

Determine Which Guy is “the One”

You have power dated and one or two men stand out as possible keepers.

Now what?

How can you narrow the field to the one?

  • Come up with a list of 10 things you want from a man and stick to it; you might not find a guy who will hit all 10, but you want a man who will come close
  • Give him a little test – tell him you need help with something, a ride somewhere or some other sort of help – how does he respond? If he steps up and tries to help, he’s probably a keeper, if he hems and haws, he’s not your guy
  • Make him a little jealous – see how he responds; if he really gets angry and jealous, he needs to be replaced
  • Let your family meet him and tell you (later) what they think – they will see flaws
  • Meet up with his family and see how they treat him, if they treat him well and he’s not a momma’s boy, unless you don’t mind that, he might be a keeper
  • Plan a lunch date; players don’t like lunch dates because they’re probably not going to get any sex after and it’s a limited time frame; but a high value guy will have a lunch date with you
  • Ask him to join you in something you’re passionate about but he isn’t – a high value man will step up and try it, a loser will whine and complain and ultimately, he won’t go

Why is this Important?

Choosing a guy to spend the rest of your life with is something many women don’t give enough thought.

A low confidence woman will just settle for the first guy who shows interest in her, an action which will eventually led to a divorce with children as the carnage.

You are a WOW and you have choices! Make an informed choice and find happiness for the rest of your life. Make a hasty decision, or one based on looks or money, and I’ll be talking with you again in a few months, after you email me about a horrible breakup.

I enjoy speaking with you, but I’d like to even more if you find a great guy!

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