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The Top 9 Reasons to Try Online Dating

The Top 9 Reasons to Try Online Dating

Are you having trouble finding a good match? Do you want multiple men lined up at your door, just to have a chance to meet you? Would you like to pick out the perfect guy for you from a gigantic pool of men? Then maybe it’s time to try online dating! Anna here. And no, I haven’t lost my mind. If the thought of online dating makes you shudder, think again.

Learn my latest online dating secrets HERE!

According to statisticbrain.com, 49,250,000 single people in the US have dipped their toes in the online dating pool this year. That’s a big pool. And more than half of them are men! According to Gregg Michaelsen, Boston’s top dating coach and best selling author, it’s “the way of the world.” So keep an open mind, and keep reading to learn more.

Love is in The Mouse

Maybe you have tried online dating before, or maybe you never even considered it. Regardless of your single situation, they key to successful online dating is knowing the RIGHT WAY to do it. In Gregg’s first online dating book, Love is in The Mouse, he covers everything you need to know — your profile, pics, screening out the losers, being safe, and actually going on a date with someone you met online. It’s like having the ultimate Wingman! Click the link above or the cover to buy your copy now.

The 9 Advantages of Online Dating

Chances are you know at least one person married to or in a committed relationship with someone they met online. Honestly, I can name quite a few! But if that’s not enough, and you still need convincing, here are the top nine reasons to try online dating.

  1. On many sites, men outnumber women by four to one. That’s why some sites are FREE to women.
  1. Online dating gives you options and the power to date multiple men. You can easily fill your bucket with as many fish as you want. If he is wrong for you, toss him back in the pool. If he’s a great catch — keep him!
  1. With online dating you can experiment and meet different types of men than those you normally gravitate towards. You may surprise yourself, and fall for someone you would not have considered before, but someone perfect for you.
  1. Get a boost in confidence by having multiple options, and multiple men telling you how awesome you are! And if one guy happens to not take interest, it’s no biggie. You have backups waiting in the wings.
  1. It’s just a date. One of many. Both of you know you are just testing the waters with each other, so there’s no pressure (and no settling out of desperation).
  1. With online dating you can learn what attracts you and what you really value in a man. You will also learn what turns you off, and what you don’t want in a man. If your date turns out to be a jerk, you can excuse yourself, and block him from contacting you again.
  1. Online dating keeps you busy, and at the least, you get to go out and have a good meal. And if it’s not a love match, you might still make a new friend.
  2. Guys crave a challenge. With online dating, you become instantly more attractive and desirable because men know they have to compete to win your heart (think The Bachelorette). You become the bait!
  1. When men compete, they are forced to step up their game. Need I say more?

Now that you’re in the know, why not give online dating a try? After all, there’s nothing to lose if it doesn’t work out — and a lot to gain if it does!

In his second book on online dating, Gregg hits it again with even more tips on profiles. This book helps you know when you’ve snagged a catfish (a guy with less than honorable intentions), it helps you write a great profile with free bonus material, and it helps you navigate getting the relationship offline and the first meeting. Click here or click the cover to buy your copy today!

The Beginner’s Guide To Online Dating

The Beginner’s Guide To Online Dating

Online Dating 101 for Women

If I had a dollar for every person I’ve met who found their perfect match online, I could buy myself a cute pair of Jimmy Choo sling-back pumps, and I wouldn’t be the only one with a new pair of shoes.

According to a recent survey by the Pew Research Center, online dating is more popular now than ever before.

A whopping 41% of American adults say they know someone who uses online dating, while 29% know someone who has married or entered a long-term relationship with someone they met online.

It doesn’t hurt that most of the people who use online dating sites in the US are well educated and fairly affluent.

Face it, online dating works, and there is proven research to back it up.  It’s a great tool for meeting new people, and there really is no reason to shy away from this proven method of dating.

Think of it this way, while there are just a handful of potential boyfriends at any given bar or bookstore coffee shop, there are endless possibilities in the cyber dating world.

You can have your pick of men online, and you can bet your confidence will sky rocket when you see just how many guys are into you!

Sounds wonderful, right? But, it still doesn’t change the fact that online dating can be scary and intimidating, especially for the beginner. Knowledge is power, and this helpful Beginner’s Guide to Online Dating can equip you with the information you need to get started on this modern path to love.

Online Dating 101 – Profile

There are many online dating sites to choose from, and it’s up to you to determine which one is the best fit for you. Once you do, it’s time to set up your profile. You want to put your best foot forward, but you may not have a clue how. Here are seven helpful tips and smart rules to follow.

  1. The Photo Dilemma: Sorry ladies, that selfie of you with the giant eyes and pouty duck lips (that got so many likes on Facebook) is not going to cut it. Try to avoid crazy angles that distort your features. Yes, you want a photo that makes you feel beautiful, but if he can’t recognize you when you finally meet, it’s false advertising. Instead, choose a great photo of yourself that actually looks like you, and showcases your awesome personality.
  1. TMI (Too Much Information!): Don’t reveal too much about yourself. Write what you would feel comfortable sharing with a guy you just met at a bar. You wouldn’t empty the contents of your purse on the bar top, so don’t do it online. Give a little something to pique his interest without over sharing. Guys like a little mystery, and besides, you still have no idea what kind of guy he is, so why should he know all about you?
  1. Good To Know: With that said, there is certain information you may want to mention in your profile, like favorite movies, bands, and books, or your interests and hobbies. After all, you want to meet someone you are compatible with, and having these things in common will give you something interesting to talk about on your first date. Write about things you would want your ideal date to respond to.
  1. Keep Your Options Open: You’ve probably heard the old adage, “Don’t put all your eggs into one basket.” It’s been around for a long time, but it is still good advice today. When it comes to online dating, you can’t pin all your future hopes and dreams on one person you’ve just met. He may seem like the perfect guy right from the start, but things don’t always work out in the end. It’s best to line up a few dates and narrow the field as things progress.
  1. Let It Go: If you find yourself just not feeling it, don’t be afraid to walk away. After a few emails back and forth, you should feel some sort of connection. He may be a really nice guy, but if he’s not for you, it’s OK to bow out and stop corresponding with him. You may even find yourself needing a break from dating altogether, and that’s fine too. Sometimes a few weeks are all you need to come back refreshed and ready to try again. Yes, there are duds out there, but there are extraordinary men as well. So do what you need to do, but don’t get discouraged.
  1. Meet Cute (and Safe!): If you do find someone you really hit it off with online, there will come a time to meet face to face. This prospect can be both exciting, and horrifying! He may be a wonderful man, but you need to be safe. Always meet in a public place! This cannot be stressed enough. If he really is the wonderful man you think he is, he will understand.
  1. Hello, Goodbye: If the date just isn’t what you expected, don’t be afraid to call it short. Maybe the sparks you had online just aren’t there in person, or maybe you really just aren’t a good match. And that’s okay. Not every guy you meet is going to be your soul mate. But remember, it only takes ONE. Online dating does work, but it is a process — so be patient.

Is Mr. Right out there, floating on a cloud somewhere, just waiting for you to come along? You’ll never know if you don’t give online dating a try!

The Top 5 First Date Do’s and Don’ts for 2016

The Top 5 First Date Do’s and Don’ts for 2016

The Top 5 First Date Do’s and Don’ts

It’s the start of a new year, and the perfect time to talk about first dates. Going out with a totally new guy can be both exciting and nerve wracking at the same time! You can’t wait to hang out with him one-on-one, but all the while, your mind is full of what-ifs and worry.

It’s Tiffany today with some helpful advice in this department. I’m here to help you stop stressing with the top five first date do’s and don’ts for 2016!

DO: Be Yourself

The best way to ensure a second date, and possibly a successful relationship in the future, is to be real. Trying to be something you are not, in the way you act AND in the way you present yourself, will only backfire and lead to disaster.

Don’t wear a fancy dress and heels if you’re a jeans and boots kind of girl, and don’t say you love skydiving if you’re not prepared to jump out of a plane. It’s as simple as that. If he doesn’t like you for who you are, he’s not the right guy for you.

DO: Be On Time

There’s no such thing as fashionably late. If you are meeting him at 8PM, it does not mean leave the house at 8PM. It means be there at 8PM, or slightly earlier. After 30 minutes, he will probably think you’re a no-show and take off.

If he does wait for you, at the least, you’ve been just plain inconsiderate. If it normally takes you two hours to do your hair and get ready, plan accordingly.

DO: Keep Comfort in Mind

On a first date, or any subsequent date for that matter, you want to be able to focus on the conversation, and spend your time enjoying his company and getting to know him better. You don’t want to be distracted by shoes that pinch your feet, no matter how sexy they are.

For more First Date Tips for Women Click HERE!

Avoid worrying about things popping out that shouldn’t by choosing your wardrobe wisely. You can look great and still be somewhat comfortable. Remember, you need to be able to walk, talk and breathe.

DON’T: Be Wishy-Washy

If he asks you what you want to do, be decisive and involved. Don’t say. “I don’t know, whatever you want to do is fine.” You may just end up at some freaky movie that scares the crap out of you and eating sushi when you’re allergic to fish.

You’ll both end up feeling bad about how the date went if you let him make all the decisions and things go awry. How long can you really keep up appearances? Wishy-washy can get old real fast for everyone involved. Guys tend to like a girl who speaks up.

DON’T: Starve

If he orders steak and you want steak, order steak. If you love pasta, order pasta. Don’t just poke around a side salad and pretend that’s all you need. Guys will tell you there’s nothing more uncomfortable than a girl who won’t eat on a date.

Besides, you may end up “hangry” (hungry/angry) if you starve yourself, and that’s probably not the best way to make a good first impression. If you’re worried about a goodnight kiss, keep some gum or mints in your pocket for later.

DON’T: Overshare

Some of us tend to talk a lot when we’re nervous. Let him get to know you, but don’t over share or monopolize the conversation. He does not need to know every last messy detail about your life on a first date.

Ask him questions about his job, his friends and family, his hobbies, and favorite bands or TV shows to keep the conversation naturally flowing back and forth between the two of you. Don’t interrupt what he is saying, even if something awesome and relatable pops in your head, it can wait until he’s done.

More First Date Do’s and Don’ts

  • DO: Put your phone away — status updates can wait
  • DON’T: Run to the bathroom every five minutes to check your hair and makeup
  • DO: Pay attention and be a good listener
  • DON’T: Mention other guys
  • DO: Offer To Pay or Split the Bill. If he declines, at least leave the tip or pay for the popcorn. If he accepts, be prepared to actually pay
  • DON’T: Drink too much
  • DO: Send a quick and casual, “Had a great time, thanks again!” text afterwards
  • DON’T: Send him a long and intense, “I had the best time, you are the perfect guy for me, I can’t wait to see you again and introduce you to my family and BFFs, how does tomorrow sound XOXOX?” text afterwards and stalk him until he responds

Here’s To A Happy (and Romantic) New Year!

Casual But Cool Christmas Gifts for A New Boyfriend

Casual But Cool Christmas Gifts for A New Boyfriend

You have a new man in your life and he’s the perfect package. He gives you that warm holiday glow from the top of your head to the tips of your toes (and everywhere in between)! I bet right about now, you’re wondering what you should get him for Christmas. The relationship is still new, so you don’t want to go too extravagant. At the same time, you want to be thoughtful and let him know you care. You can’t just run to the drugstore and pick up any old thing. That won’t do. But what are appropriate “casual but cool” Christmas gifts for a new boyfriend?

Hi, Tiffany here. It’s the most wonderful time of year, and you have someone special to share it with. Your first Christmas together should be joyful, not stressful! We’re here to help with some gift ideas for your favorite guy (besides Santa Claus, of course). Keep this guide handy while you do your holiday shopping this year!

Top 10 Christmas Gifts For A New Boyfriend

In-Ear Headphones: You can’t go wrong with a good pair of earbuds, especially for the guy who loves music (or listening to podcasts). You can find them as cheap as $5, but for a nice pair, prices range from $30 to $300. High-performance earbuds are comfortable and lightweight, drown out external noise, and have amazing sound quality. Check out CNET’s list of Best Earbuds (In-Ear Headphones) of 2015.

Mini Pro Lenses: Forget the selfie stick. Snap on wide angle and telephoto lenses are a great gift for the guy who loves to use his smartphone as a camera. Prices run about $25 each lens.

Portable Bluetooth Speaker: Lightweight and compact, portable Bluetooth speakers use vibrations to amplify sound. That means he can stream music wirelessly while in the shower, at work, or just about anywhere! Prices range from $40 to almost a thousand, but you don’t have to spend a fortune for a quality speaker. Shop around and find the best sound and features at a price you can afford.

E-Tip Gloves: Baby, it’s cold outside! Scarves, hats and gloves are always a nice gift this time of year. But if you want some thing a little more unusual, go for tech-friendly e-tip gloves. That way he can text you love notes while he’s braving the winter weather!

Sunglasses: Guys love sunglasses. And he will look hot enough to melt snow in a slick pair of aviators, so it’s a win-win! You can spend as little or as much as you want, depending on the brand.

Netflix: So a new flat screen might be a bit much, but a subscription to Netflix is just right for a new boyfriend. He will love snuggling on the couch with you and binge-watching movies and TV shows. Throw in a matching set of PJ’s and you’re good to go! A Netflix Streaming Plan is around $8 a month.

Digital Photo Frame: A digital photo frame would look so nice on his desk at work or bookshelf at home, and you could add some photos of the two of you together. It’s a great way to keep you on his mind. The price of a nice digital photo frame is around $50.

Craft Beer: Create a 6-pack just for him. Retailers like World Market allow you to mix and match unique craft beers from around the globe. Or visit your local microbrewery and pick up a few growlers in seasonal flavors. Prices vary, depending on the beer. Better yet, set him up with his own home brewing kit and make your own beer together!

Tickets: He will be filled with joy when you give him tickets to a sporting event, play, convention, or concert — especially because it is a gift he can share with you! Start planning an amazing date night now, just in time for Christmas!

Homemade Treats: Homemade treats take time, and are made with love. Besides, the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So bake up a batch of your famous brownies and you will have him melting in your hands (chocolate is an aphrodisiac after all)!

Looking for the ultimate Christmas gift? Enter our “Cutest Couple Photo Contest” and you could win a romantic getaway at Rockland Maine’s premiere luxury bed and breakfast, The Berry Manor Inn (awarded the 2015 Certificate of Excellence by Trip Advisor and named in the Top 10 Be and Breakfasts in the US by Yelp). Visit Gregg Michaelsen / Coach on Facebook for more info and to submit a photo!

How to Know If A Guy Is Playing You

How to Know If A Guy Is Playing You

You’re ready to go out and meet a great guy, but you’ve been burned before, so now you want to discover how to know if a guy is playing you before you become emotionally invested.

What should you look for? What are the signs that the guys you meet are either good guys or creeps?

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | He’s Full of Compliments

This can go one of two ways.

Either he’s always complimenting you, like always, or he’s always complimenting himself. While compliments are nice, they can be overdone.

It’s great for a guy to tell you how nice you look for your date, but ten more compliments in the next hour is going a bit overboard.

This is a tactic players use to distract you and make you feel good about yourself. If you’re feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, you’re less likely to notice his slimeball ways.

On the other hand, he might spend all his time complimenting himself. He puts all his effort into convincing you of what a great guy he is. This isn’t something he needs to tell you; his actions speak louder than his words.

Your Dates are Booty Calls

He texts you late at night and wants to come over, but all he’s looking for is sex.

Players want something from you. Usually, it’s money, sex, or status. Many times, it’s sex, but not always.

One way to tell what his true intentions are is to take note of when he contacts you. If he’s into you, he won’t wait until late at night. He would reach out during the day to check-in.

If it’s money, that will become obvious soon enough. He’ll forget his wallet or be a little strapped this week. That’s bull. Money is important to good men because they want to provide for their loved ones. Good guys don’t spend all their time borrowing from you.

If it’s status, he’ll show you off to his friends, all while making sure they know what it is you offer, “This is Stephanie. She’s a doctor at..” Or he’ll want to show off your car, your home, or whatever it is that you have that he wants.

how to know if a guy is playing you

You Know Nothing About Him

The opposite of him blowing himself up to you by way of overdone compliments is that he shares nothing about himself. He doesn’t want to get attached to you, so he doesn’t share things with you.

Oh, you might learn his favorite color or his favorite restaurant, but nothing deeper. He probably plans to end things with you sooner than later.

And, by the way, what he tells you is probably false. That’s his favorite restaurant to take you to because none of the other women he’s seen or already dismissed are there. Soon enough, he’ll need to find a new restaurant in a new town.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | Your Relationship Doesn’t Progress

At first, it’s fine to date other people. You have no commitment to this guy and it’s a great way to know for sure who you want to make that commitment with.

But, as time progresses, you’ll both naturally start weeding people out and getting closer to one another.

A player won’t allow a relationship to progress. It’ll stay in that initial dating other people stage of the relationship. He’s not interested in advancing any relationship. He’s very active on dating sites and in the local bars and hangouts.

Do You Get the Feeling You're Being Used?

Do you feel like the man in your life is using you or is up to something he shouldn't be? This is a great article to help you figure it out, but there are others. Click the link below to read those.

You Feel Like You’re Walking on Eggshells

A relationship with a player can feel tenuous. You may feel like you’re walking on eggshells, and you can’t quite figure out why.

It’s your natural gut instinct that the relationship isn’t a secure one, and your gut is probably right.

You feel like you must watch what you say, and you feel like he’s controlling the relationship. A feeling of unease settles over the relationship, and you aren’t yourself.

This feeling comes from how he’s reacted to things in the past. Maybe you said something you thought was funny, but he looked at you blankly.

This isn’t your imagination. He’ll make you work hard to regain his attention and whatever snips of attention he feels like throwing your way.

This isn’t how relationships work. You should be able to say what you think, and the balance of power should be relatively equal.

It Feels Like You Initiate Everything

He’s giving you scant little time for dates and time together. This is because he’s dating other women and he doesn’t have much time to give any one of you.

You find yourself asking, “When will I see you again?” because the time between dates feels too long.

You get time with him when he grants it, no more and no less. He’s in complete control of the dating schedule. This might force you to do things to get his attention but save your energy for a guy who’s worthy of you.

how to know if a guy is playing you

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | He Rarely Follows Through on Promises

He said he’d call after he got home from a late night at work, but the call never comes. You passed on a girls’ night with your friends to wait for his call and you got nothing.

He says he’ll pick you up at seven, but seven comes and goes with no phone call, no text, and no date.

Stop waiting for this guy. If your friends want to go out, tell him you’ll have to reschedule. Let him be the one who gets set aside. Unfortunately, this won’t land with the loud thump you hope for. It’ll likely mean nothing to him since he didn’t plan to come anyway.

He’ll have excuses for his absence:

  • My best friend called and needed me to help him – it was an emergency
  • I got called back into work to help with something big
  • I’m so sorry, Babe, I completely forgot
  • My sister is in town, and I had to do dinner with the fam

The problem with all these excuses is that it takes about ten seconds to tap out a text and bow out. He isn’t telling you because he doesn’t value you enough to bother.

He’s Too Good to be True

What guy listens? I mean really. Show me one, and not your gay best friend. He doesn’t count. Show me a guy who will sit and listen to you cry about your last boyfriend and I’ll show you a player.

If that doesn’t do it, he has all the right lines. He’s smooth and delivers these lines with a finesse that takes your breath away.

This is because he’s practiced those lines so many times that he knows them by heart. He knows which lines work and he’s gotten rid of those that don’t.

He shows up as this charming, handsome, smooth talker who sweeps you off your feet. Your girlfriends are initially starstruck and wish he had approached them. They’ll see him for who he is before you do.

At first, he’ll treat you like a queen. He wants you to feel secure in his affection for you, but it’s all fake. It’s just part of his game.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | He Keeps You from His Friends & Family

He talks about his friends and family all the time. Whether he’s telling you the truth is immaterial because you’ll never meet them. In fact, he might say his mother passed away when she’s fine and living thirty miles down the road.

You won’t meet his friends either because they know who he is. Chances are they’re players too.

As for his family, he doesn’t want to hear, “She’s such a sweet girl; why can’t you settle down with someone like her?” That doesn’t fit his agenda.

He’s Not Looking for Anything Serious

This is the theme song for players. He’ll woo you and suck you in, then tell you he isn’t into serious relationships.

He’s not lying, for once. He isn’t into serious relationships because he’s incapable of that much affection unless it’s directed at himself.

Other guys will say they don’t like to place labels on relationships. This is the same thing said differently.

how to know if a guy is playing you

His Friends are Players

You might not see it in him, but it’s clear that his friends are players. Of course, this is assuming you do get to meet them. He might talk about their behavior, then you’ll see some of these red flags.

He doesn’t expect you to pick up on them, so he’s not worried about sharing those details with you.

He Texts but Doesn’t Make Plans with You

He might text or even call, and it’s all sweet and romantic, but he never plans a date with you. It’s all just words.

He’s getting an ego boost from the attention he’s getting from you when you talk, but he’s not interested in anything more.

The other possibility is that he’s stringing you along to see what happens in his other relationships. You’re a Plan B, C, or D.

A guy who’s into you wants to see you and spend time with you. He enjoys getting to know you and uncovering the mystery.

Your Dates are Uninspired

He’s not going to invest anything more into your relationship than he must, so your dates are more likely to be booty calls or binge-watching something at your place or his.

Of course, if you’re buying, he’s in, but if you expect him to spring for a romantic date, you’ll be waiting a long time.

He’s not into the romance stuff. For as good of a smooth talker as he is, he’s not very romantic. No more than he needs to be to get you hooked on him anyway.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | You Spend Too Much Time in Your Head

In the beginning, he’s all charm and attention. He texts all the time and seems like he’s falling as hard for you as you are for him.

Then things slow to a trickle and you end up wondering what you did wrong. What have you done to lose his attention? Why is he so distant?

You’ve done nothing, but he likes that you’re second-guessing yourself because you’ll dote on him more, thus boosting his ego. Of course, your efforts will be for nothing because he’s just in it for the ego boost and the sex.

When a guy is into you, he doesn’t leave you guessing, and he would never purposefully make you feel bad about yourself. You’ll feel good about your relationship and yourself because he works hard to help you feel secure in his affection for you.

He Isn’t Interested in the Real You

He’s asked all the right questions to learn about you superficially, but he’ll never ask real questions about you. He doesn’t want to become attached to you, or more likely, he’s afraid he’ll get attached to you and you’ll leave. His insecurities are always in play.

Guys who are into you want to know all about you. They love the quest of discovering who you are, which is why I always encourage women not to share too much at once. He doesn’t really want you to, regardless of how many questions he asks.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | Sex Happened Very Quickly

His big push is for sex. Even if he has other goals from his relationship with you, like status or money, sex is up there.

In fact, he might push for sex on the first date. You have every right, and you should say no. No guy is worthy of sex on a first date and a quality man won’t ask.

YOU are always in control of when sex happens and if you aren’t, this isn’t the guy for you. Don’t allow him to guilt you into it.

If he has any respect for you, no is no, and he’ll wait until you’re ready. If he has no respect for you, there is never a time when he’ll accept no. He’ll likely just move on, leaving you to believe you should have had sex with him.

No. You did the right thing!

He’s Past 18 Years Old and Claims He’s Never Been in Love

Everyone experiences their first love, usually in high school. Of course, later, many of us come to realize that wasn’t love, but it felt like it.

A guy who claims he’s never been in love, or in a long-term relationship probably isn’t lying but probably is a player. What he’s telling you is that he’s incapable of deep emotion and he bed-hops.

You deserve a man who is capable of love and nothing less.

how to know if a guy is playing you

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | He Acts Like a Player

Players live a different lifestyle. They party a lot so they can meet a lot of women. They hang out with their friends at different clubs every night. Your one night a week that he grants you is probably a weeknight, and he may or may not show up, as you’ve already read.

He dresses to impress in whatever he thinks will win over the women where he’s headed. If that’s a suit and tie, that’s what he’s wearing. If it’s tight jeans and a Henley that shows off his buff body, that’s what he’ll go for.

You Sense a Disturbance

You feel like you’re being played, but you just can’t believe this guy would do that to you. He’s so sweet and kind. Why would a guy who’s that nice be a player?

That’s the whole point. He’s nice so you don’t suspect him, but it’s all a cover. He knows what to say and do to keep you interested.

If you ask him about it, he’ll deny all charges, but you still know something is wrong.

Trust your intuition.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You | What to do if You’ve Snagged a Player

At first, it’s tricky because players are great at looking like the confident man you deserve, but soon enough, their true colors shine through. Perhaps on that first encounter if he asks for sex.

Dump Him

The first thing to do is dump him. Don’t worry, he won’t be surprised or hurt. He expects this as a natural progression of his relationships.

You deserve a man who is confident and will genuinely love you and treat you like his queen. That type of man will plan romantic dates with you and savor every new tidbit of information he learns about you.

Go for that guy!

Take a Dating Breather

You snagged a player because he sensed a lack of dating confidence in you. Players lack confidence, so that’s who they go for. Likes attract likes. This is also why you’ve struggled to find a great, confident man. He sees your lack of confidence too and he’s avoiding you like the plague.

Instead, take a breather from dating and work on your confidence. I know it might not be what you want to hear, but that’s your key to finding great men.

Confident men are drawn to confident women, although they aren’t always aware of that particular draw. They just sense something about you that draws them to you.

Don’t Shoulder the Blame

This isn’t your fault. He is a predator who preys on women he thinks he can win over with his BS. Learn from this experience and take that dating breather to rebuild your confidence.

Being single isn’t a disease, it’s just a relationship status. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you’re single.

How to Know if a Guy is Playing You

You’re armed now and ready to push away any players who come your way. Of course, if you take my advice and rebuild your confidence, you won’t need to.

They won’t approach because they know they don’t stand a chance. There are enough low-confidence women around that they’ll find one easily enough.

Now that you’ve read these signs, you’ll see players everywhere. Guys you didn’t suspect before now stand out to you.

That’s good! Now go build your confidence so you can find a guy who deserves you!

Wouldn't you love to know how to Weed Out the Users, the Couch Potatoes, and the Losers? Well, good news! Help has arrived! You'll learn how to spot the various types of losers roaming the dating scene, and how to recognize the great men. Discover how to dump a loser if you've got one in your life right now and attract great men. Learn more about this book here or click one of the buttons below to get your copy today!

A Girl Walks into a Bar…How to Navigate the Bar Scene

A Girl Walks into a Bar…How to Navigate the Bar Scene

Tiffany here. Let’s talk about navigating the bar scene. I was never a big fan of the bar scene. There were always too many people crammed into a small, smoky space and the noise made it impossible to have a decent conversation. Any time a guy would approach me, he would be shouting cheesy pick up lines and I would inevitably get squished and bumped as I struggled to keep my drink from spilling. Then, when I’d hit the dance floor, it always ended with me sandwiched between two creeps as I struggled to break free from my “Nightmare” at the Roxbury. I’m probably dating myself here by referencing a silly movie from the 90s, but back then, that was pretty much how it was. If you wanted to meet men, you suffered through the sandwich dancing, the crowds, the noise and the spilled drinks. If you were smart, you kept a fake wedding ring in your pocket for emergencies — sorry, married.

Today’s Bar Scene

Fast forward almost 20 years and boy have times changed! Sure, you’ll find the occasional rowdy dive, but for the most part, bars have grown up. They are stylish and hip with room to breathe, designed with talking and mingling in mind. But, while the atmosphere has changed for the better, guys sadly remain the same. It’s finally time to face the facts ladies. Most guys who frequent bars want one thing, and you know what it is! The worst thing of all is they know how to get it. It’s scary, really — like being in a shark tank where he’s the predator and you’re the prey. You’ve been warned.

Plenty of (Good) Fish

What’s a single girl to do? Well, there are plenty of good fish in the sea – swimming around with those sharks. Bars are a great place to meet new people, but how do you avoid the sharks and find that good guy that’s worth dating? If you’ve read any of Gregg Michaelsen’s best dating books, you have learned how to be in charge. You are a confident, quality woman who can have her pick of men so choose wisely. Learn to identify the real men from the predators and just keep swimming! Sharks are masters of conversation. They are confident. They come right up to you and ask you a lot of questions to make you believe they are interested in you as a person. They are charming and exciting and turn your brain to mush. They do everything right — but they are not authentic. They are pros.

Navigate the Bar Scene Wisely

Think about it. A guy who is that impressive — who knows how to look and act just right — has probably had a lot of practice. On the other hand, the guy who is nervous and stumbles over his words fails to impress because he does not do this often. He’s authentic. Same thing applies to the guy who ignores you. He probably wants to come over but is too afraid. Ditch the shark, and give this guy a chance! Talk to him for a while and see what happens. He might be perfect for you once he’s comfortable and you get to know him better.

Catching Mr. Right

Now that you know how to weed out the sharks, how do you find those good guys that are worth dating? They are out there, but they may not approach you, and they may not be immediately obvious either. Maybe they are playing pool, or sitting at the bar with their buddies, but they notice you. They are just too nervous to approach you. If you notice a guy who catches your attention and seems authentic watching you from across the room, don’t be afraid to make contact. It could be as simple as getting up and walking past his table, or following him up to the bar. As you pass, throw in a glance and a smile. Make eye contact. Make it easy for him to approach you without fear of being humiliated. Keep this in mind – men don’t always pick up on non-verbal cues so if he’s still not catching on, don’t give up. He is interested, but he may need an extra dose of confidence. Make it easy and make the first move. Approach him and strike up a conversation. If you’re not comfortable with that, just wave him over! Chances are, with encouragement from you, he will come. Now that you know how to tell the good guys from the bad, you should be able to navigate the bar scene. Beat it sharks — it’s only smooth sailing from here in the dating pool!
3 Steps to Become a Guy Magnet

3 Steps to Become a Guy Magnet

Want to Be a Man Magnet? Following These 3 Steps

Hey, Tiffany here! We’ve all known at least one Chick Magnet — from the guy ALL the girls had a crush on in high school to the distinguished older gentleman at the nursing home who makes every lady in the joint swoon – they do exist. It’s an undeniable fact. Some guys just ooze attraction. He may not always be the most handsome, have the biggest muscles, or drive the nicest car, but there is just something about him. What about us? Is there such a thing as a woman who oozes attraction? And if so, how do you become a guy magnet? Good news – Guy Magnets do exist! Better news – it’s not difficult to learn. The secret to drawing men is this simple: it’s all about confidence. Did you ever have a friend who was not as pretty as you, but for some reason she stole the attention of every guy in the room, much to your dismay? Did you ever see a solid 5 walking hand in hand with an absolute 10 and wonder, how did that happen? Did you ever meet a man who was not at all your personality type, but ten minutes into the conversation you suddenly become VERY attractive to him? You can thank confidence.
How to become a guy magnet

Love yourself and others will too!

Sure a great body and a beautiful face will get you dates, but most men — and women — can see past the superficial very quickly. Giving off an apprehensive vibe and insecure body language can make a 10 become a zero in no time. When you are unsure of yourself, it shows, and it’s a definite turn off. Instead of shining, you fall flat. What can you do to change things and become the belle of the ball? No magic wand is going to do that for you. You have to decide to make the change yourself, by adjusting your outlook and attitude.

Become a Guy Magnet Step 1: Love Yourself

I’m not saying you should boast about how amazing you are to every man you meet. That’s not going to help you win dates and influence people, but if you love yourself, it WILL show and others will love you too. Loving yourself means looking inward and appreciating what is good about YOU. Cut yourself some slack about your perceived imperfections, and feel comfortable in your own shoes. Stop putting yourself last. Make time for yourself, mind, body and soul. Banish negative thoughts, and focus on the positive. After all, no one will love you if you don’t love yourself.

Step 2: Be True To Yourself

To become a guy magnet, trying to act like something or someone you are not is never a good thing. If anything, it just shows you lack confidence. And the truth WILL catch up with you in the end. So save yourself time and heartaches and just be YOU! You have your own hobbies and interests so do what you love, surround yourself with people who accept you as is, and be seen for the amazing person you are! Not the fake person who pretends to be something she’s not. When in doubt, be true to yourself.

Step 3: Value Yourself

Boston’s top dating coach, Gregg Michaelsen, believes there is nothing more attractive than confidence. You are a woman of value who can have her pick of men. All you need to do is believe it. Boost your feelings of self-worth by throwing yourself into work you love, and activities which help you feel good about yourself and your talents. Do this and you will be the ultimate man magnet – guys will love you! Think about all the things you do to help people, your achievements, and all your strengths as an individual. Surround yourself with friends and family who support you and love you unconditionally. Trust your intuition and wisdom, it won’t steer you wrong. Now you know the secret to becoming a Guy Magnet. No one changes overnight, but if you work on building your confidence you will notice a difference in the way people perceive you, and before you know it, it will be you who steals the attention of all the guys in the room! So tell me, who holds the cards now? Love yourself, be true to yourself and value yourself and the right man will follow!
How Will I Know if He Really Loves Me?

How Will I Know if He Really Loves Me?

“How will I know if he really loves me…?” Tiffany here. Sorry if you now have that classic 1980’s Whitney Houston song stuck in your head. But really, is there any way to know for sure? It’s not like guys profess their love from the rooftops and gush all over when they see us. They’re not wired that way. And if by chance he does say those three magic words — I love you — well, what then? Words are just words. Does he mean them or is he just trying to appease you, or worse, is he just trying to get in your pants? Some guys are devious that way, and some women fall for it because they are blinded by their own feelings (feelings we proudly show every chance we get, because, face it, we ARE wired that way). Let’s go back to that song that’s stuck in your head.
How will I know (Don’t trust your feelings) How will I know How will I know (Love can be deceiving) How will I know How will I know if he really loves me I say a prayer with every heart beat I fall in love whenever we meet I’m asking you what you know about these things
When it comes to relationship advice for women, Gregg Michaelsen knows about these things! This Boston dating coach will be the first to tell you men love DIFFERENTLY than women. It’s pretty much the whole premise of To Date A Man, You Must Understand A Man, one of his best-selling dating advice books. According to Gregg, women ooze love unconditionally, but men don’t love like that.  They don’t generally spill their emotions, constantly confirming their love for us. But that doesn’t mean they don’t love us back. Even if it’s hard for them to TELL us how they feel, they SHOW us, in their own way, through their ACTIONS. We just need to know what to look for!

Solving Your Problems

Does he give you a massage when your back aches? Did he put air in your tires and check your oil before your trip to visit your parents? Does he mow the lawn when the grass gets too high? Did he bring you your favorite pumpkin spice cappuccino because he knew you had a big deadline at work last week? When guys do these “manly” things for us, they are showing us they care. Now that we know this to be true, we can use it to our advantage. Compliment him on how nice the lawn looks, and show appreciation when he makes sure you are safe. Do this, and he will be showing his love every chance he can!

Protecting You

Does he open the door for you? Does he give you his coat when you’re chilly? Does he walk you to your car and make sure you get home safely? Does he defend you at all costs? Chivalry is not dead! In fact, it’s a powerful way men show their true feelings. He’s not just being a gentleman, ladies. He cares about you! Don’t let his effort go unnoticed.

Socially Announcing You

If he loves you, he will want to introduce you to the important people in his life. He will want you to meet his friends, and he will want you to meet his family. He will share his hobbies with you and invite you to join in. He will update his relationship status on Facebook and post photos of you on his profile page. He will be proud to show you off, and he will be excited about including you in his life.

Sex

Not to go into too many graphic details, but is he a taker or a giver? If he wants to please you just as much as he wants to be pleased, he cares. Simple as that. Showing his love can rarely be faked. You just need to pay attention to the clues. Actions speak louder than words. So be confident in his feelings for you, even if he doesn’t say those three words right away, or as often as you’d like. You will know.
What is Phubbing? Is it Harming Your Relationship?

What is Phubbing? Is it Harming Your Relationship?

Phubbing, or phone snubbing, is an all-too-common behavior these days, but the real question to ask is whether phubbing is harming your relationship.

First, what is phubbing exactly?

Imagine you and your guy are out for date night. You’d like to talk about what movie you should go see later, but he’s got his thumbs furiously tapping on his phone. He’s engrossed and completely oblivious to the fact that you’re talking to him.

That’s phubbing.

Look on your next public transportation ride – I’ll bet you that the majority of people are phubbing. They’re engrossed in their phones so deeply that they miss what’s going on around them.

Why do People use Phubbing?

Of course, there’s a why associated with phubbing, and I think it’s important to understand it so we can dig down to why it harms relationships.

Phubbers are often Phubbed

If you’ve been phubbed a lot before, you’re more likely to engage in the same behavior. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

This is backed up by a scientific study.

Science is Still Studying

As far as scientific research goes, phubbing is a newer phenomenon, however, this doesn’t mean that there’s no information. It simply means that more information is needed to make well informed conclusions.

So, what that means to our conversation is that there are some ideas on who’s more likely to be phubbing, but there could be more information to come.

One prevailing thought is that phubbing is associated with people who have an addictive personality to start with. Since phubbing can be seen as a smartphone addiction, this makes sense. Some science has initially proven this to be true.

Along with that, some believe a social media addiction is closely related or correlated to phubbing. Again, this makes sense. If you’re hooked on social media, where are you going to spend your time?

Part of the social media problem, which is also new in scientific research, is learning whether people are using social media to form their own identity. Who you are in real life is who you project on social media, except it isn’t. That doesn’t stop people from trying to build an identity around what they post on social media.

FoMO is another reason for phubbing. FoMO, for those of us who are older (I had to look it up) is fear of missing out. Again, it makes sense because much of FoMO relates to social media.

Studies don’t yet agree on whether men or women are more prone to phubbing. Some say yes while other studies say no.

Additionally, there’s good news if you’re married as married people are usually less prone to phubbing.

Emotional Intelligence and Physical Aggression

Some have studied the relationship between emotional intelligence, physical aggression, and phubbing.

Research to date tells us that emotional intelligence can be a predictor of phubbing. Those with high emotional intelligence are able to control their emotions while those with low emotional intelligence cannot. Those with lower emotional intelligence are more likely to engage in phubbing.

So, it stands to reason that physical aggression would also have a relationship with phubbing. Some who have low emotional intelligence, but not all, are more prone to physical or verbal aggression.

More Information is Needed

Obviously, since this whole smartphone world is relatively new, the science behind its impact on our lives truly remains to be seen, but now let’s dig into how phubbing negatively impacts your relationship.

Phubbing and the Impact on Your Relationship

Jealousy

One common problem often associated with phubbing is jealousy. Imagine you’re on a date with your guy and all he wants to do is be on his phone.

What’s your first thought? Who has his attention so much that he can’t tear himself away to talk to you, right? Of course! That’s what anyone would think.

He’s Phubbing, You’re Phubbing

One of the first things I mentioned was that a predictor of whether you’re a phubber or not can be whether it’s been done to you.

If your guy is phubbing and ignoring you, what’s a girl to do? Get her smartphone out and join the phubbing party.

The problem with this is that you’re supposed to be out enjoying one another, but you aren’t. If one of you isn’t really into the whole smartphone thing, it can become very aggravating.

It Promotes an Environment of Retaliation

Some studies have shown that when your partner is phubbing, it makes you angry, of course, and your desire for retaliation is higher. You want revenge for being ignored.

This makes sense again because when you’re in a relationship, you want the attention of your loved one, but if all their time is spent with their nose in their phone, they barely know you exist.

You’re Very Dissatisfied with Your Relationship

To me, there’s already a high rate of relationships ending for reasons that could be avoided, and this seems as if it would fall into the same category.

What I mean by this is that if you or your partner simply realize that your behavior is hurting the other, you would quit or at least slow way the heck down so you wouldn’t continue to hurt them.

People who have phubbing partners, often called ‘phubbees’ reported lower relationship satisfaction in a study during which the partners were asked to keep a daily journal that also noted how extreme they felt the phubbing had been during the day.

Now that You’re Aware of the Harm of Phubbing

If you’re the phubber, I hope you see how your behavior is harming your relationship. If you’re the phubbee, I hope you see that what you’re feeling is backed up by science. Your partner is physically, but not mentally present.

If you feel frustrated, ignored, and unhappy with your relationship, you’re right where you should be. Your feelings are to be expected.

It’s unfortunate that we’re becoming so socially isolated because of technology. During COVID, we learned how to engage in relationships without being physically present, but there are things about being in close proximity to your partner that can’t be replaced.

Touch is very important because it gives us a feeling of being appreciated and loved. There is actually a physical response to being touched that helps reduce your stress and anxiety.

If we begin to dump our noses into our phones, we’re missing out on a huge aspect to a relationship. Not only are we avoiding eye contact, but there’s no touch, no conversation, no interaction of any sort.

So to answer the original question – is phubbing harming your relationship, the answer is a big YES!

How can you stop?

How to Stop Phubbing

Acknowledge the Problem

Of course, the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging that the problem exists. We often equate this to alcoholism, but the truth is that you can’t fix a problem you don’t recognize.

Whether you’re the phubber or the phubbee, it’s time to have a conversation with your partner to discuss the problem. As you know, one begets the other, so chances are you’re both doing it to some extent, regardless of who started it.

Implement Technology-Free Date Nights

A date night is a chance for the two of you to regroup and reconnect. The older your relationship is, the more important date night is, but it’s important to every relationship.

I make one, maybe two exceptions for this, and that’s if you have kids or one of you is on-call for a job, but even then, the phone is face-down on the table or put away in a pocket or purse.

This is your time to talk and spend time just being together. Phubbing moves you about as far in the other direction as you can go.

Place Your Phone Out of Sight

If you’re at home watching a movie, don’t put your phone on the table face-up where you can see every notification that comes in.

Lay it face down and silence notifications. If you can’t lay it face down, set it in a drawer or across the room.

The point is to remove the temptation to use it. And don’t go get it during a commercial or when your partner needs a bathroom break.

Try a Digital Detox to End Phubbing

There are apps that will help you regulate your time on your device. Some apps will block distracting apps from intruding in your life.

You can also turn off notifications for apps that tend to pull you away, like social media, mail, and even texting or voicemails.

I don’t like the little red numbers beside apps that tell me how many unread messages I have any more than the next person, but I don’t sit and stare at my phone either.

Assign Ring Tones to Important People

I understand that in today’s society, people expect you to reply immediately, but that doesn’t mean you should. Instead, assign the truly important people in your life a ringtone. Give Mom her own tone, or your kids, or your office if you go on-call or have a job where you may be urgently needed.

Kick the rest of the messages and voicemails to the later pile.

How to Stop HIM from Phubbing

If you’re the phubbee, it’s time to have a conversation with your partner. He’s obviously so engrossed in his phone that he hasn’t noticed how upset you get. Tell him. Use “I” language:

  • Brett, I feel like you’re ignoring me when you spend so much time on your phone
  • It makes me feel like I’m not important to you when you never look up from your phone
  • When we’re together, I feel as if you’re not really there

Stating how you feel is harder to dispute and these sentences don’t begin with an accusation. They state the situation and how it makes you feel.

After you’ve discussed it, if you notice that he’s starting his phubbing again, gently remind him that he’s doing it. Try not to take it personally. This is akin to an addiction and the phubber won’t be able to stop cold turkey.

Also, avoid your own phone. Give an example of what being present looks like. Be understanding and compassionate. This has likely become a habit and habits can be tricky to break. Give him time to recognize his problem and make a course correction.

Finally, resist the urge to turn to your own phone. Instead, try to interest him in something. Choose a topic of interest to him, like a hobby he has, a favorite team, or some other topic. This is intriguing enough for him to pull him away.

If you replace phubbing with fun, it will be an easier habit to break. Engage him in activities that make it harder to dig out a phone.

That’s a Wrap!

It’s clear that phubbing is harmful to relationships, and not just romantic relationships, but relationships between parents and children and your friendships.

In any instance, the feeling of being ignored and unimportant is there, waving a big red flag.

Whether you’re the phubber or the phubbee, there are things you can do to help rein in the problem. Patience with your partner will help things go more smoothly.

Once you find true love, the key is keeping it! In my best-seller, Pennies in the Jar: How to Keep a Man for Life, you'll learn many things you and your guy can do to maintain a healthy, happy relationship. The pennies you put in the jar are shared memories. You add pennies when you do things together like exploring a quaint little town nearby or relaxing in a coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon. They're added when you make a game out of grocery shopping or have a cooking contest for dinner.

Learn how to put pennies in the jar, how to communicate effectively and how to fight fair, all inside this great book!

To learn more about it, click here. To purchase the book, click one of the buttons below.

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